A Requiem For The Summer

As I write this, I'm still riding the high from this past weekend's nude volleyball tournament. A good mix of Type 1 and Type 2 fun. Sleeping in a tent, dodging the rain, dealing with crowded bathrooms, joining yet another misfit team - who this year didn't win a single game. These were not my favorite parts; and there were moments where I found myself wondering if I should have just stayed home. But by the closing ceremonies Sunday evening, I had been pulled into the magic of it all, and I didn't want it to end. I'll definitely be back next year, and maybe seek some other opportunities in the interim (pending financial and weather-related considerations, in addition to scheduling).

After all, it's not often that I get to practice naked on a real court, let alone in a team setting, with other naked people. People who genuinely seem to like me - some of whom I've known for well over a decade now, but only get to see in this context. And I always enjoy playing volleyball, even when we don't win. I was mostly just frustrated not to be able to play up to my full potential. I've been practicing a lot, for what little opportunities that I have, and my skills have improved greatly since I started playing some 15 years ago. I won a trophy all the way back in 2016, when I was still a relative novice; I want to win one in a higher skill bracket, to reflect my growth - before age starts catching up with me.

With sincere apologies to the gentleman who asked me to dance at the masquerade ball (I've inevitably disappointed many men over the years, but I can't help my programming), the highlight of the weekend was hitting the ball around with two of the younger, female referees in between games. It would have made for a striking image (I'm sorry, but I can't help thinking like a photographer) - the two of them dressed and me fully naked, although it didn't feel the least bit unusual in the moment.

If that's the reward (fleeting though it was) for putting in the work to improve my skills (and thereby build my confidence), then it was worth every minute of exertion I've endured - to be able to participate in a meaningful interaction with somebody attractive, and not just stand on the sidelines. It's enough to keep me motivated to continue improving. I hate to sound like a cliche, but these forces are very powerful by design, and even I am not immune to them. Honestly, I'm just relieved I can hold my own against actual, trained volleyball players. Like that one time I joined a team of college girls on the beaches of Lake Michigan...

How dull life seems to me now, when you avoid the risks that lead to adventure. I just wish I hadn't spent so many years letting my fears get in the way of that. There's a certain cruelty in having to trade the vitality and resilience of your youth for the experience that brings wisdom and confidence. Life is short enough already, for its peak to be such a narrow band of years when the two divergent forces meet in the middle. And by then, it's too late to start building a foundation for anything substantial.

I've had a taste of the social cachet that's conferred to jocks in our culture, and I'm hungry for more! (That's something I never I thought I'd hear myself say). Even as, sadly, we're winding down to the end of summer, and heading in to that long period of the year when I essentially enter hibernation. Soon I'll be sitting at my computer day in and day out, managing my vast (and growing) photo library, while waiting for the weather to turn warm again. It's essential work, and the safety of not poking my head out into the world constantly is comforting. But I have increasingly begun to feel like I thrive best when I spend a lot of time outside being active. Yet every time I get into that zone, and face the realization that it can't be sustained indefinitely, I worry about the cost of losing momentum.

All good things may come to an end, but I'm determined that there be more good things to come, waiting just beyond the next horizon. But I can't just sit around waiting for them to happen, or they never will. I must remain vigilant. For I am the architect of my own fortune. Nobody else is going to do it for me.

Mountainuding Adventures

I just went on an impromptu camping trip to take advantage of this late summer heat wave, and to make up for the earlier camping trip that was ruined by extreme flooding - but this time by myself, so I could focus on the activity I love more than just about anything in the world: outdoor nude recreation! Or, more specifically, nude wilderness exploration. And self-portrait photography, because the two go together like peanut butter and jelly. My self-portrait photography is enhanced by the wild locations and scenic vistas I seek out, and my wilderness exploration is indeed spurred on by my mad artistic pursuit of visual documentation of the wonder and sheer joy I feel being naked in the great outdoors. The only thing missing is a buddy who shares my level of passion, and has the stamina to keep up with me, climbing mountains and yet still having the energy to dash back and forth to wherever I set up my camera tripod.

Among other things packed into my busy, three day excursion, on this trip I conducted a staggering three hour photoshoot for a clone shot that involved multiple costume changes (oh, how I prefer the simplicity of nude modeling). The theme is a concept I came up with years ago, depicting a scene from the Garden of Eden. It's designed to send a message, emphasizing the contradiction between a spiritual view of nudity (and/or sexuality) and the false notion of modesty or purity that is passed off as "virtue" in organized religion. It's a concept that obviously hits home for me, and a message that I want to spread far and wide, so the level of expectation I had for this photoshoot was high. The location I picked couldn't be more perfect - it's a very old tree "hidden" (though not hard to find, if you know what to look for) in a protected wilderness area that's revered by locals in the know as a magic tree, often referred to as 'the tree of life'.

That said, the lighting was a nightmare to work with (hence the three hours I spent shooting). The weather constantly altered between sunny and cloudy, sometimes switching as quickly as during the ten seconds it took me to hit the shutter button on my camera and then run into place and strike a pose. At one point, as I was waiting (between costumes) for a cloud bank to pass, a group of tree hunters showed up (I lunged for my sarong) to get their pictures in front of the tree. They were friendly, and we engaged in some light conversation, as I patiently waited for them to move on so I could get back to figuring out how to wear a string of ivy as clothing. I have concerns about whether I pulled the whole thing off (in spite of the monumental effort I put into it - and considerable frustration I got out of it), but I won't know until I've had some time to work on the images in post-production.

But that wasn't even the highlight of my trip! On the previous day, I hiked up the back side of a mountain, to spend hours trawling the epic ridgeline along the top, exhausting myself with picture opportunities every few steps, as the breathtaking views (and eminently climbable rock formations) kept coming and coming, without letting up. And do you know what the best part was? I didn't encounter a single person, so I was able to spend the entire day completely nude, in one of the most picturesque locations I've ever been! In my heart I didn't want it to ever end, but my body was getting more and more tired with each shoot, the sun dropping as the hours passed (I eventually made it back to my car - at the bottom of the mountain - after a deep twilight had set in), with a nagging thought tugging at the back of my mind, that my memory card could only hold so many pictures and videos, and I still had that mammoth costume shoot to do the next day.

But that's not all! At the end of my trip, I still had a couple of hours left to kill, and I wasn't ready to put my clothes on and return to civilization just yet. I had already made the effort to reach this remote wilderness area, and I wanted to make the most of it. So I tried a new trail I'd never hiked before. No cars at the trailhead - and it dragging into late afternoon by that point - said to me that I would have the wilderness all to myself! So I hiked an hour round trip (double that, give or take, factoring in the inevitable picture stops), out into the wilderness and back, fully naked. The scenery was beautiful, and the terrain most pleasant - I didn't even have to wear shoes! The heat of the sun was perfectly balanced by an unrelenting wind roaring over the plains. I felt so alive!

I remember thinking in the moment how delightful it was, not only to be able to experience the natural beauty of this wild planet, beyond the boundaries of civilization and its artificial constructions, but to enjoy it completely unobstructed by the numbing barrier of textiles. When I vocalize it, even in my head - "to walk naked in nature" - it sounds a silly thing to take so seriously. (Or, for those who are threatened by the human body, a serious thing to take so lightly). But words don't do justice to what I felt out there (even pictures can't capture it completely), and how much more vividly I felt it because I wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. I wish I knew how to adequately communicate that feeling to people who haven't tried it, or don't have the disposition for it. They don't have to like it as much as I do - or even at all. I just want them to understand how much it means to me, and be willing to make reasonable - I said reasonable! - concessions, so that I may enjoy those feelings more in life.

[When asked by the aforementioned group of tree hunters what I was waiting around for, a part of me wanted to speak honestly and openly. But out of habit, itself borne out of the fear of social disapproval, I instinctively told a half-truth - that I was waiting for the light to change. Maybe next time I'll have the confidence to be more direct - to explain, in a friendly manner, that I was waiting for them to leave so I could take more pictures half-dressed (or less). (You'd think by the fact that I was uncommonly dressed in nary but a sarong, with my long hair flowing like some enchanted forest creature, they might have already suspected more than they, or I, let on). There's no law against saying such things, and communication contributes to awareness. You never know, you might even be met with delighted curiosity instead of the disgusted revulsion you'd expect.]

And what I'm left with now - besides the fond memories that will no doubt last a lifetime, and hopefully inspire similar adventures in the future - is a sagging camera roll that demands attention. I'm eager to pore through those pictures and videos and uncover all the pure moments of beauty I've captured, and even more excited to eventually share them with others who will be able to appreciate them for what they are. But tempering that excitement is the realization that I have a large and growing backlog of similar pictures and videos that I have as yet not had enough time to pore through. And these new ones, as good as they are, are not so much better as to eclipse those in importance. I feel like a dragon, sitting atop a horde of treasure. It's not that I want to keep the treasure to myself - I long to spread it around. I just can't solve the logistical problem of being drawn to collecting shiny things much faster than I can package them for distribution. So it gives me no pleasure to have to say it like this (and I do apologize sincerely, for I understand that time is guaranteed to no one, myself included), but I look forward to the joy I'll be able to extend several years in the future when I'm finally ready to share the wonderful art I've created over these past few days.

Naked Elation

Hot Take: Nudism isn't complete without exhibitionism.

Discussion: I feel like, if you're not at least a little bit of an exhibitionist, then you're not getting the full enjoyment of nudism. Prudists will say, "that's not nudism!" But it's not sex, either.

I'm not talking about deliberately swinging your dick in front of strangers. Transgressing the taboo on exposing your body, and taking delight (aesthetically, if not outright erotically) in the beauty of the human form is part of what makes nudism fun.

That is, essentially, exhibiting your body for pleasure. But 'exhibitionism' is such a loaded term, I'd prefer to call it 'gymnophoria' - which is a construction that combines the Greek word for nudity (gymnos) with euphoria. In other words, naked elation.

If we were truly clothes-blind (as in, nudism is genuinely no different from textilism, just with a lack of clothing), as prudists like to preach, then there'd be no point to the considerable effort of swimming against the tide that is being a nudist in a textile culture.

If that's all nudism can aspire to be, then I want no part of it. But, of course, it's not. Because although you can make rules for behavior in a social setting (as we should), you can't gatekeep what nudism means to people, or how it makes them feel.

Diplomacy

I was thinking about my last post (on the subject of wanting to take pictures of beautiful people), and something occurred to me. The problem with discussions on this topic (and similar topics - that, in a very broad sense, pit male sexuality against women's issues), is that it's just two sides yelling at each other.

On the one hand, you have this perception (because this is the argument being made by the complainants) that there are men blindly following their sexual compasses without concern for who gets "trampled underfoot". And on the other hand, you have women with legitimate concerns about their comfort, privacy, and sense of safety being violated.

The problem is the lack of a middle ground - a bridge between both shores. I sympathize with women's concerns - I truly do. But the argument is usually made in a way that casts men's very instincts (the same instincts that are partly responsible for the propagation of the species) as fundamentally bad.

Like, the fact that anybody would even want to have and to keep a visual representation of an attractive stranger they randomly encountered in public is not only unreasonable, but unthinkable to anyone but a degenerate worthy of utmost scorn. I don't feel that way.

I don't think that instinct is bad. I think that it's worthwhile to consider whether acting on that instinct is a good idea in any particular instance. At the end of the day, I would pursue a compromise between never doing it at all, and doing it always and without any consideration. But I still think the act of consideration is valid.

But at the same time, people shouldn't be made to feel guilty not just for their actions, but also for their unbidden desires and instincts, regardless of the conscious behaviors they ultimately choose to engage in (or prevent themselves from engaging in). That kind of animosity just grows the divide, rather than bridging it.

It creates resentment on both sides - men perceive women as reviling them (and their basest instincts), and therefore they revile women in return. This doesn't contribute to them giving women more consideration, but rather considerably less.

It sucks, and I know it doesn't feel like these kind of people deserve to be met halfway (consider also, though, all the people on the sidelines who are listening to what you're saying, and wondering - worrying - if it applies to them). But that's how diplomacy works.

You appeal to a person's better nature, working with them so they feel that you are on their side, in order to reach a compromise that everyone can live with. That's what's missing in this world today, that we are in dire need of, all across the board. Diplomacy. Not division.

Let's work together. We're all human, and our fates are intertwined.

Gorgeous

I know that beauty is subjective. But on a statistical level, there are certain measures of beauty that are objective. I am not the most beautiful person in the world. Not by a very long shot. And I know this. I don't pretend otherwise. But I do acknowledge that I possess some measure of beauty, and I think that's valuable.

Because I know people who are drop dead gorgeous. And they may know they are attractive, but they almost don't seem to appreciate it. Maybe being THAT attractive really is more of a liability than an advantage. I know that it has to be some of both. But it almost seems a waste to me.

I would KILL to be that beautiful - and I would know what to do with it. (Including a number of things society forbids me, on account of my sex). But I'm stuck with what I've got. I've put a lot of work into making the most of it. And I think I've done exceedingly well on that front. Much better than I ever would have thought possible at an earlier stage of my life.

But even with all that effort, the returns are but a pittance. And even the smallest change of being born female would make an astronomical difference. In fact, that accident of birth would count for far more than any amount of effort a human being could ever expend. And that hardly seems fair.

But even with my dedication and commitment, and the eye for beauty that I've honed over years of practicing my craft, I still feel like I'm unable to express my aesthetic feelings, and put my talents to work, because of a cultural sensitivity that's been developed around placing value on the way people look. For better and worse. Better for some, I'm sure. In my case, much worse.

"You're gorgeous. All I wanna do is take a picture to remember you by. Does that make me a villain?"

David Hamilton (an oft misunderstood artist who was, in the end, condemned to death for his passions) once wrote, "if you are on a beach and you notice a face, or a body, that stands out from the crowd, the sight of which makes your heart leap in your breast, then stop. If your feeling is honest and sincere, it will help you find the right words. Who knows what could then come from such a meeting." I hold that quotation as a guiding beacon (it has hung in the sidebar of one of my blogs for many years), not because I live by its wisdom. I am not so bold as that. But because it expresses a possibility - an alternative worldview - that I find pleasing, and very much preferable to the state of fear in which I live. When I am out on the street, and I see somebody who is absolutely gorgeous, all I wanna do is take a picture to remember them by. Nothing more intrusive than that. But I can't do that. I can't even let on that such is my desire. Because I feel like that would make me a villain in the eyes of others.

And that reminds me of another piece of art that has stuck with me over the years: a sci-fi movie from 2002 titled Equilibrium, starring Christian Bale. But forget about the flashy "gun-fu" action sequences. It's the intriguing premise - embodied in the tragic fate of Sean Bean's character - that really speaks to me. In a dystopian society, citizens are required to regulate their emotions through mandatory medication. The justification (and not without some merit) is the belief that intense emotions are the cause of much struggle and strife - both on an individual level, and on a society-wide scale. But this sense of security comes at the cost of sacrificing the highs and lows of human experience - arguably, what makes life worth living.

So, there are some who, at great risk, opt to surreptitiously forgo taking their state-mandated meds, in order to experience the full range of human emotions - and in the process, manage to accrue secret collections of contraband in the form of great works of art: paintings, symphonies, etc. Of course, these outlaws must learn to carefully regulate their emotions, so as not to out themselves to their peers and, more critically, the authoritarian police force whose task it is to hunt down such enemies of the state (the punishment for showing "feelings... of an almost human nature" - in the words of Pink Floyd - is no less than death).

Imagine, if you will, hearing a song and being so moved by it, but having to suppress your reaction to it - in effect, acting as though it doesn't affect you, for fear that someone will suspect it does. I feel that way every time I encounter a beautiful specimen of humanity. I still have those feelings, but I've learned (mostly) to suppress my outward reaction to them, and act like it doesn't affect me at all. But in doing so, something important is lost. I feel a traitor to myself, nurturing a wound that's grown into my very soul. Is my admiration so odious, so harmful a thing that I cannot be allowed to express it? To make it known? That we have eyes, and aesthetic tastes - though, yes, sometimes running only skin deep. Is it so damaging to a person's psyche to be an object of adoration? Or so damaging to others' not to be that object, that we dare not single anyone out?

I could be dead wrong, but I disagree. I believe we stand more to lose by refusing to acknowledge the effect beauty has on us, than we stand to gain by ignoring it. But I don't think the rest of the world feels that way. Which is why it's so valuable to me - having the self-awareness to acknowledge one's own beauty, and the generosity to be willing to share it freely, as through artistic pursuit. But such a thing is so rare - so rare that I feel I may suffocate, as though lacking enough oxygen to breathe.

Privacy Breach

Within the last year, the lunatic who lived at the end of my street started an ill-conceived construction project that involved cutting down some large trees on city property, and ultimately ended with him destroying the foundation of his own house - which is now condemned. In the short term, waking up to the sound of a backhoe tearing up earth in the pre-dawn twilight was pretty obnoxious, but even now, the entire appearance of the hillside remains irrevocably altered, without any input whatsoever from the rest of us living in the valley. Of particular concern to me is that there is now a clear view open from a house and short stretch of street up on the hilltop, straight to my backyard - where I'd previously enjoyed the privacy to work and play naked, [mostly] free from prying eyes. (Not that I care about being seen; I just like the peace of mind that comes from knowing that nobody is going to see anything that's going to create any problems - whether for themselves or for me).

Not that I've changed my lawncare or nude recreation routine, mind you. I moved into this house largely on the promise of its private backyard, and I'm not going to give that up over the unexpected actions of a renegade neighbor. I'm sophisticated enough to make an argument, should anyone challenge me, about my rights versus the concessions I make in deference to community standards. And anyway, the house on that hill is set at an angle, and you'd have to stop at just the right spot on the road, and look in just the right direction at just the right moment when I'm out in the yard to see anything - and even then, it would be at a considerable distance, far enough away to obscure the finer details of my naked glory.

But still - notwithstanding my ability to appreciate an exhibitionistic thrill (which, I know, is enough to condemn me in most people's eyes, but I contain multitudes) - it gives me one more source of anxiety when all I wanna do is enjoy the feeling of being unclothed outdoors, among the natural elements, without being harried by the artificial taboos of a gymnophobic society.

Indecent Exposure in 50 States

As much fun as it would be to share images of me getting naked in every state in the union (how's that for a road trip idea?), this post is just going to be a discussion of indecent exposure laws across the United States. You see, I was thinking about the non-landed nudist club I like to fantasize about running - it would be dedicated to meeting up with like-minded adventurers to participate in nude recreational activities in the great outdoors. It's not the most practical idea; not least of all because I'm a reclusive hermit, but also, who wants to meet naked strangers in the wilderness, far from civilization? But it reflects one of my favorite pastimes, and it would be cool to share that hobby with other people (at least hypothetically). And it occurred to me that I should probably be more than passing familiar with the indecent exposure laws in my area. One thing led to another; I was comparing the wording of statutes across neighboring states, when I decided to just canvass the entire nation. And now I want to share with you what I found.

I'll begin with the obligatory disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, and absolutely no part of any of what follows is intended to constitute legal advice. I think common sense goes a long way with respect to getting naked where others might see you, but if you truly want to cover your ass (at least metaphorically), I would consult a lawyer. Generally, indecent exposure is usually classed as a misdemeanor, but there are often provisions for an escalation of penalties for repeat offenses (so called second or third strike laws), or for any offense committed in front of a child (variably defined). You never know who's going to come around that corner at the worst possible time; and while indecent exposure sometimes falls under the heading of "crimes against public morality and decency" (or something similar), I have seen a lot of cases where it's considered a sexual offense, even lumped in with obscenity, and cozying up obnoxiously close to prostitution laws (and worse). I don't think you need me to tell you what a drag it would be to end up on a sex offenders registry.

With that pleasantness out of the way (I'm a bit of an idealist on this point, but I lament that the image of people walking around naked that exists in most people's heads is one characterized by deviant perversion and not innocent purity, as it should be), I'd like to analyze some of the similarities and differences I've encountered in the indecent exposure laws (or closest facsimile) for each state, which I've transcribed below. While I cannot make any guarantee, I have tried to ensure that each code excerpt is accurate and up to date. For the sake of brevity, I've cut out all but the most salient points with regards to exposing one's genitals in public and/or in front of other people. I've included links should you want to read the full text. Most of these laws include additional provisions governing public displays of sexual activity (I figure that kinda goes without saying). Also excluded below are exceptions carved out for breastfeeding mothers, which I've encountered in the following states: Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, North Carolina, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

Now, on to the meat of the subject. There are many discrepancies across states about what constitutes "indecent exposure", in terms of which parts of the body we're talking about. Generally speaking, the genitals (or "sex organs") and anus (I feel like you really have to be trying, to expose your anus) are mentioned, but whether or not that includes buttocks and female breasts (thong enthusiasts and topfreedom advocates take heed) is not always clear. There is almost always a requirement that the offender's behavior either be conducted with sexual intent, and/or be performed under circumstances in which the offender does or should (sometimes it's one and not the other) know that his behavior will cause affront or alarm (or various other words for distress) to an unsuspecting and/or nonconsenting party. Which is why - as Florida (organized nudism capital of the United States) explicitly articulates - nudist gatherings, sufficiently insulated from public view, are usually permitted under law.

In some cases, there are separate provisions for private behaviors, criminalizing indecent exposure behind closed doors (or in front of open windows). Sometimes, but not always, there are exceptions made for spouses or, less frequently, co-habitators (providing a little leeway for nudism at home). As always, you should consult the full text of the law in your state before engaging in any potentially risky behaviors, and cross-reference it with local laws for the area in question - which may include even more restrictive provisions than the state code, as is the case in some parts of the reputationally free-wheeling state of Vermont.

All of this leads me to confirm my belief that, other than the "safety in numbers" approach of organized bike rides and protests, the safest way to get naked where others might see you is to stick to less populated areas (like remote hiking trails) - theoretically, there's no crime if nobody sees you - and to make an effort to cover up if somebody does happen upon you unexpectedly - demonstrating a lack of intent to cause affront or alarm. I know, it's tempting to want to spread awareness and try to normalize the occurrence of nude recreation. I get it. But I guarantee you this is not the most effective way of doing that. Consider that people can be made aware of your choice to engage in nude recreation without exposing yourself in a way that makes you criminally liable, or that callously disregards any consideration to the diversity of perspectives and sensitivities that exists among the population. In other words, you can make your point without swinging your dong in somebody's face, to say nothing of shoving it down their throat. And, on that subject, it goes without saying that the instant sex gets added to the mix, you're taking your liberty into your own hands (among other things ;-p).

Without further ado, here are the indecent exposure laws in all 50 states of the union:

Alabama: "A person commits the crime of indecent exposure if, with intent to arouse or gratify sexual desire of himself or herself...he or she exposes his or her genitals under circumstances in which he or she knows the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm."

Alaska: "An offender commits the crime of indecent exposure...if the offender knowingly exposes the offender's genitals in the presence of another person with reckless disregard for the offensive, insulting, or frightening effect the act may have."

Arizona: "A person commits indecent exposure if he or she exposes his or her genitals or anus or she exposes the areola or nipple of her breast or breasts and another person is present, and the defendant is reckless about whether the other person, as a reasonable person, would be offended or alarmed by the act."

Arkansas: "A person commits indecent exposure if, with the purpose to arouse or gratify a sexual desire of himself or herself or of any other person, the person exposes his or her sex organs in a public place or in public view; or under circumstances in which the person knows the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm."

California: "Every person who willfully and lewdly...exposes his person, or the private parts thereof, in any public place, or in any place where there are present other persons to be offended or annoyed thereby...such as is offensive to decency, or is adapted to excite to vicious or lewd thoughts or acts, is guilty..."

Colorado: "Any person who performs...a knowing exposure of the person's genitals to the view of a person under circumstances in which such conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm to the other person...in a public place or where the conduct may reasonably be expected to be viewed by members of the public commits public indecency."

Connecticut: "A person is guilty of public indecency when he performs...a lewd exposure of the body with intent to arouse or to satisfy the sexual desire of the person. ...For the purposes of this section, 'public place' means any place where the conduct may reasonably be expected to be viewed by others."

Delaware: "A person is guilty of lewdness when the person does any lewd act in any public place or any lewd act which the person knows is likely to be observed by others who would be affronted or alarmed."

Florida: "A person commits unlawful exposure of sexual organs by: exposing or exhibiting his or her sexual organs in public or on the private premises of another, or so near thereto as to be seen from such private premises, in a vulgar or indecent manner; or being naked in public in a vulgar or indecent manner. ...The exposure of sexual organs by...an individual who is merely naked at any place provided or set apart for that purpose...does not violate this section."

Georgia: "A person commits the offense of public indecency when he or she performs any of the following acts in a public place: ...a lewd exposure of the sexual organs; a lewd appearance in a state of partial or complete nudity..."

Hawaii: "A person commits the offense of indecent exposure if, the person intentionally exposes the person's genitals to a person to whom the person is not married under circumstances in which the actor's conduct is likely to cause affront."

Idaho: "A person is guilty of a misdemeanor if the person willfully and lewdly...exposes his or her genitals; exposes developed female breasts, including the areola and nipple...in any public place or in any place where there is present another person or persons who are offended thereby."

Illinois: "Any person of the age of 17 years and upwards who performs...a lewd exposure of the body done with intent to arouse or to satisfy the sexual desire of the person...in a public place commits a public indecency."

Indiana: "A person who knowingly or intentionally appears in a public place in a state of nudity commits public nudity. ...As used in this section, 'nudity' means the showing of the human male or female genitals, pubic area, or buttocks with less than a fully opaque covering, the showing of the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering of any part of the nipple, or the showing of covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state."

Iowa: "A person who exposes the person's genitals or pubic area to another not the person's spouse...commits a serious misdemeanor if all of the following apply...the person does so to arouse or satisfy the sexual desires of either party...the person knows or reasonably should know that the act is offensive to the viewer."

Kansas: "Lewd and lascivious behavior is...publicly exposing a sex organ or exposing a sex organ in the presence of a person who is not the spouse of the offender and who has not consented thereto, with intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desires of the offender or another."

Kentucky: "A person is guilty of indecent exposure...when he intentionally exposes his genitals under circumstances in which he knows or should know that his conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm..."

Louisiana: "The crime of obscenity is the intentional...exposure of the genitals, pubic hair, anus, vulva, or female breast nipples in any public place or place open to the public view...with the intent of arousing sexual desire or which appeals to prurient interest or is patently offensive."

Maine: "A person is guilty of indecent conduct if...in a public place...the actor knowingly exposes the actor's genitals under circumstances that in fact are likely to cause affront or alarm."

"A person is guilty of indecent conduct if...in a private place, the actor exposes the actor's genitals with the intent that the actor be seen from a public place or from another private place."

"A person is guilty of indecent conduct if...in a private place, the actor exposes the actor's genitals with the intent that the actor be seen by another person in that private place under circumstances that the actor knows are likely to cause affront or alarm."

Maryland: "A person may not commit the common law crime of indecent exposure."

Massachusetts: "...persons guilty of indecent exposure shall be punished..."

Michigan: "A person shall not knowingly make any open or indecent exposure of his or her person or of the person of another."

Minnesota: "A person who...willfully and lewdly exposes the person's body, or the private parts thereof...in any public place, or in any place where others are present, is guilty of a misdemeanor."

Mississippi: "A person who willfully and lewdly exposes his person, or private parts thereof, in any public place, or in any place where others are present, or procures another to so expose himself, is guilty of a misdemeanor."

Missouri: "A person commits the offense of sexual misconduct in the first degree if such person...exposes his or her genitals under circumstances in which he or she knows that his or her conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm."

Montana: "A person commits the offense of indecent exposure if the person knowingly or purposely exposes the person's genitals or intimate parts...under circumstances in which the person knows the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm in order to abuse, humiliate, harass, violate the dignity of, or degrade another; or arouse or gratify the person's own sexual response or desire or the sexual response or desire of any person."

Nebraska: "A person, eighteen years of age or over, commits public indecency if such person performs or procures, or assists any other person to perform, in a public place and where the conduct may reasonably be expected to be viewed by members of the public...an exposure of the genitals of the body done with intent to affront or alarm any person."

Nevada: "A person who makes any open and indecent or obscene exposure of his or her person, or of the person of another, is guilty."

New Hampshire: "A person is guilty...if...such person...exposes his or her genitals...under circumstances which he or she should know will likely cause affront or alarm."

New Jersey: "A person commits a disorderly persons offense if he does any flagrantly lewd and offensive act which he knows or reasonably expects is likely to be observed by other nonconsenting persons who would be affronted or alarmed. ...As used in this section...'lewd acts' shall include the exposing of the genitals for the purpose of arousing or gratifying the sexual desire of the actor or of any other person."

New Mexico: "Indecent exposure consists of a person knowingly and intentionally exposing his primary genital area to public view. As used in this section, 'primary genital area' means the mons pubis, penis, testicles, mons veneris, vulva or vagina."

New York: "A person is guilty of exposure if he appears in a public place in such a manner that the private or intimate parts of his body are unclothed or exposed. For purposes of this section, the private or intimate parts of a female person shall include that portion of the breast which is below the top of the areola. This section shall not apply to...any person entertaining or performing in a play, exhibition, show or entertainment."

North Carolina: "Any person who shall willfully expose the private parts of his or her person in any public place and in the presence of any other person or persons, except for those places designated for a public purpose where the same sex exposure is incidental to a permitted activity...shall be guilty."

North Dakota: "An individual, with intent to arouse, appeal to, or gratify that individual's lust, passions, or sexual desires, is guilty...if that individual...exposes the individual's penis, vulva, or anus in a public place."

Ohio: "No person shall recklessly...expose the person's private parts...under circumstances in which the person's conduct is likely to be viewed by and affront others who are in the person's physical proximity and who are not members of the person's household. ...Whoever violates this section is guilty of public indecency."

Oklahoma: "Every person who willfully and knowingly...lewdly exposes his or her person or genitals in any public place, or in any place where there are present other persons to be offended or annoyed thereby...shall be guilty, upon conviction."

Oregon: "A person commits the crime of public indecency if while in, or in view of, a public place the person performs...an act of exposing the genitals of the person with the intent of arousing the sexual desire of the person or another person."

"A person commits the crime of private indecency if the person exposes the genitals of the person with the intent of arousing the sexual desire of the person or another person and...the person is in a place where another person has a reasonable expectation of privacy; the person is in view of the other person; the exposure reasonably would be expected to alarm or annoy the other person; and the person knows that the other person did not consent to the exposure."

Pennsylvania: "A person commits indecent exposure if that person exposes his or her genitals in any public place or in any place where there are present other persons under circumstances in which he or she knows or should know that this conduct is likely to offend, affront or alarm."

Rhode Island: "A person commits indecent exposure/disorderly conduct when for the purpose of sexual arousal, gratification or stimulation, such person intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly...exposes his or her genitals to the view of another under circumstances in which his or her conduct is likely to cause affront, distress, or alarm to that person. Any person may be a complainant for the purposes of instituting action for any violation of this section. This act shall not apply to any conduct between consenting adults where the complainant is an unintended witness."

South Carolina: "It is unlawful for a person to wilfully, maliciously, and indecently expose his person in a public place, on property of others, or to the view of any person on a street or highway."

South Dakota: "A person commits the crime of public indecency if the person, under circumstances in which that person knows that his or her conduct is likely to annoy, offend, or alarm some other person, exposes his or her anus or genitals in a public place where another may be present who will be annoyed, offended, or alarmed by the person's act."

Tennessee: "A person commits the offense of indecent exposure who...in a public place or on the private premises of another, or so near thereto as to be seen from the private premises...intentionally...exposes the person's genitals or buttocks to another...and reasonably expects that the acts will be viewed by another and the acts will offend an ordinary viewer; or are for the purpose of sexual arousal and gratification of the defendant."

Texas: "A person commits an offense if he exposes his anus or any part of his genitals with intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person, and he is reckless about whether another is present who will be offended or alarmed by his act."

Utah: "An actor commits lewdness if...the actor performs...an act exposing the actor's...genitals; female breast below the top of the areola if the actor is female; buttocks, anus, or pubic area...in a public place; or under circumstances which the actor should know will likely cause affront or alarm to, on, or in the presence of another individual."

Vermont: "A person guilty of open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior shall be imprisoned...or fined..or both."

Virginia: "Every person who intentionally makes an obscene display or exposure of his person, or the private parts thereof, in any public place, or in any place where others are present, or procures another to so expose himself, shall be guilty."

Washington: "A person is guilty of indecent exposure if he or she intentionally makes any open and obscene exposure of his or her person or the person of another knowing that such conduct is likely to cause reasonable affront or alarm."

West Virginia: "A person is guilty of indecent exposure when such person intentionally exposes his or her sex organs or anus...and does so under circumstances in which the person knows that the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm."

Wisconsin: "Whoever...publicly and indecently exposes genitals or pubic area...is guilty. ...'Publicly' is susceptible to a construction that will avoid the question of constitutional overbreadth, by limiting the application of the statute to constitutionally permissible goals of protecting children from exposure to obscenity and preventing assaults on the sensibilities of unwilling adults in public."

Wyoming: "A person is guilty of public indecency if, while in a public place where he may reasonably be expected to be viewed by others, he...exposes his intimate parts, with the intent of arousing the sexual desire of himself or another person. ...'Intimate parts' means the external genitalia, perineum, anus or pubes of any person or the breast of a female person."

Sympathy for the Fetishist

As a bit of background, you may know that the only photo sharing site I use anymore (since Flickr burned me) is DeviantArt [NSFW]. I'm happy to say that all my new stuff, including videos and photo sets in great volume, go to JustForFans [NSFW] (previously OnlyFans [NSFW], which still hosts a lot of archived material not yet available anywhere else) - I say happy, because it means I can get something back (even if just a token) from all the hard work I put in to creating my art. That said, I'm still in the process of posting old highlights publicly on DeviantArt, because I crave a level of attention and feedback I don't get from my small (but highly appreciated!) band of subscribers. It's the boon and the curse of being an exhibitionist - that what's done behind closed doors isn't nearly so thrilling as that which is ventured out into the public square.

Which, conveniently, brings me to the subject of this post. Most of what I see on DeviantArt is mildly interesting at best, outright offputting at worst (I won't even get into the proliferation of AI content, which is a separate can of worms) - the site is a veritable bazaar of fetishism. Which is, generally speaking, a good thing in my opinion. These people need some kind of outlet. If I come across a favorites gallery of obese models, hairy assholes, or dismembered corpses (I'm not even kidding), I can just gag and close the window. It's not my business to police other people's tastes. I still browse, in spite of these circumstances, because I do have a general curiosity about the various things that turn people on, but also because it's all fodder for my creative imagination as an erotic artist. And, well, sometimes you do find stuff that strikes your fancy.

Like this one animated short [NSFW] I stumbled across in somebody else's favorites gallery just today. Artistically, it's very well constructed. It consists of [mostly] still frames, but they effectively convey its story - which is a person on an empty train car stripping naked and cuffing herself to the seat (with legs forcibly spread wide open), out of reach of her clothes or any means of unlocking herself from her self-inflicted bondage. Although not depicted, the implication at the end of the short is positively tantalizing - that, now being trapped in this precarious situation, this person will have no escape as the train begins to fill up with passengers. I have to admit, the entire scenario turns me on immensely - a fact that troubles me very much.

Why should it trouble me? I'm not a prude. I'm not ignorant of my own sexual interests, either. I wasn't surprised that it excited me. I was troubled because this is a situation that is entirely unrealistic. Never mind the fact that I wouldn't go this far even if the opportunity presented itself. I couldn't even enjoy it because the outcome - the part not depicted - as much as it triggers excited anticipation, in reality it would be what ruins the whole experience. I don't want to be shouted at. I don't want to be arrested. I don't want to be humiliated by family and friends, when it becomes public knowledge that this is how I get my jollies. And I certainly don't want to be raped - by complete strangers even! Why, then, does the scenario turn me on so much?

I mean, sure, there's nothing wrong with having fantasies. (I have a similar fantasy that involves hopping on a hotel elevator naked and crossing your fingers - sort of an exhibitionism roulette). But the part that really troubles me most is the awareness - not that I am "perverted", twisted from some arbitrary designation of "purity" - but that I cannot have pleasure and satisfaction via routine, easily accessible methods. If at all. Why do I have to be turned on by these outlandish and unattainable scenarios, in a way that simply isn't possible in a run-of-the-mill sexual encounter? Sure, I can enjoy the physical sensations of vanilla sex. I'm not numb. But they don't thrill me on that same level. They don't drive me to desire. I could take them or leave them, but this - not having it leaves me feeling unsatisfied. Like there's a unique piece of life I could be enjoying, that I'm missing out on.

People treat fetishists so horribly. They think fetishes arise as a natural consequence of moral turpitude, and are a reflection of the corruption at the heart of a person's soul. You should see the things I've read about exhibitionism within the nudist subculture alone (I practically guarantee you can't open r/nudism without seeing at least one post hurling abusive insults at exhibitionists). We don't want to harm people. We didn't even choose to have these desires! We're not evil. We're not antisocial. We just want to experience pleasure, like you probably get to. Some of us manage much better than others - that's absolutely true. But it's not like society isn't filled with conventional horndogs who treat women poorly. The best of us shouldn't be judged by how the worst of us (or even most of us) behave.

I don't know what caused me to become perverted, and I don't think I'm responsible for it. But it's certainly not a desire to upset anyone. Why does exhibitionism turn me on? Probably due to the law of opposites. I'm a reserved loner. I'm literally scared of people. Maybe being fully exposed in that way appeals to me because it's a true loss of control - all the usual rules, the laws and boundaries by which my entire life is governed, are thrown out the door and it's a total free fall. Mind you, I've never let myself go to that extent; it's just a fantasy that thrills me, and fills me with longing. If only I could get that same feeling of satisfaction from a conventional night in the bedroom with a loved one...

Don't you pity the pervert? Because I sure do.

Don't Tread On Me

There is still a lot of stigma attached to voyeurism and exhibitionism, even in what could arguably be called a sexually liberal culture (relatively speaking, anyway). And it is mostly due to the stereotypical assumption that voyeurism and exhibitionism (both) inherently involve a violation of consent - which is not true. Voyeurism isn't all hidden cameras, and exhibitionism isn't all public indecency. In fact, I would argue that something as popular and mainstream as the dissemination and consumption of pornography online (or elsewhere) depends upon the voyeuristic and exhibitionistic impulses within the majority of us. (But, of course, our critics who only want to slander us, won't give us the benefit of that point).

But even where the fantasies and desires of fetishists may sometimes wander over the border of ethics and into the land of questionable acts, as with other things, this doesn't mean the individual in question doesn't understand where the line is to be drawn, or that he doesn't have the ability to control himself. It's just that, even to admit that you can derive some pleasure from the thought of observing, or being exposed outside of the bounds of a private, committed relationship, earns you a badge of reprobation in most circles. I've felt this particularly distinctly among nudists. You'd think a community built upon the belief that covering up is the true indecency would be paradise to a person who enjoys admiring or showing off the human body. But instead, this sort of person is made to feel like a second class citizen, if not an outright criminal.

Just consider this. We are organic beings gifted with the sense of sight. We are capable of appreciating the aesthetic qualities of the things we see. We are also creatures who reproduce sexually, and are programmed to respond both physically and psychologically to the sight of the human body - especially ones we deem attractive. In an effort to civilize man, and tamp down rampant fornication (I can only assume this was the prehistoric justification), society has created a taboo on displaying one's body fully (especially the genitals, although in a lot of contexts it is not limited to only this area) in all but a very few specialized situations - always in private.

Arguments can be made - on both sides - about whether or not this is for better or worse. The argument I want to make is simply that, in a society that has put a taboo on something we are capable of and even programmed to enjoy, it is rational - nay, inevitable - for some people to develop an interest in contravening that taboo. It's not insane. It's not even necessarily antisocial. And we shouldn't stigmatize people for acknowledging the inherent potential for pleasure (erotic or otherwise) in seeing or being seen, separated from any consideration of whether everyone involved has had a pre-care session first.

Yes, consent is important - I'm not neglecting that. But it's important as a rational inquiry before choosing one's actions. It's not something that factors into the equation of the thoughts and feelings that go on inside a person's head. Tying them together just dooms the fetishist to an unlikable outcome (for all involved) - which is what the detractors want. They don't want a safe and sane outlet for these desires. They don't even want anyone to be able to conceive of such a thing. Because then they would have to live with it as an acceptable part of society, and learn to treat these people as human beings.

No Community

Notwithstanding my experiences in organized nudism - and whatever inroads I was making on that front were stymied by the COVID lockdowns, and then my subsequent dedication to free-range nudism in the great outdoors. Anyway, nudists are pretty allergic to photography, not to mention any emphasis on the inconvenient fact that some bodies are more beautiful than others. Notwithstanding all that, I say, my nearly 18 years of experience shooting nude photography has, disappointingly, not yielded induction into any kind of community of likeminded artists, as I might have hoped.

Don't get me wrong, sharing photos online is fun. I wouldn't still be doing it after all these years if it weren't. But almost without exception, it has the feel of performing for an audience, rather than contributing to a think tank. I'm just producing disposable content for consumers. I'm not networking with other producers of similar content. I'm not sharing tricks of the trade with other tradesmen. The few artists I've followed over the years have either been professionals entirely out of my league (with, therefore, no chance of opening any kind of mutual dialogue), or amateurs I've seen something of myself in, only to sooner or later be rebuffed because I'm too sex-positive.

To be fair, I'm a bit of a loner and a shut-in. I wonder sometimes if that's the reason why I feel so isolated in this society. I tend to push people away. But I'm also an outlier, and I struggle to find other people like me who I feel I can relate to. I think that if I did, I'd be willing to go out on a limb, to step outside of my comfort zone, for that potential gain. In fact, I've proven that that's the case on at least one prominent occasion. Sadly, it ended in failure.

I just don't find people like that very easily. After considering joining a local photography club, I successfully managed to talk myself out of it. Why? Because, come on. They're not gonna be anything like me. They're gonna jump to conclusions, and associate me with a stereotype I don't even relate to. It's why I don't join photography clubs online. There's pornography, which doesn't have the same goals and aesthetics as I do. And then there's fine art, which sees me - in their myopic worldview - as a deviant and a rogue. Plus, there's the trend these days in websites forcing nude artists to PAY for the privileges other artists get to take advantage of for free.

There is no conclusion to this post, because the issue remains unresolved. They say we have freedom. They tell us to pursue the things that make us happy. But I just feel like an outcast and an outlaw. And it feels ridiculous to campaign for an unimportant thing like personal joy or fulfillment, when people's lives are being thrown away in pointless wars, denied their fundamental rights over arbitrary designations they didn't choose at birth, and driven into debt and poverty through no fault of their own, because they can't afford to pay their own health bills - all while the billionaires keep getting richer! If we can't even get these basic things right, then what hope do I have, to ever be able to live in a world where I can celebrate the beauty of the human body openly, without being treated like a scoundrel or a criminal?

Varieties of Nudist Lifestyles

[description: infographic describing eight different varieties of nudist lifestyles]

I came across this image on social media, and it resonated with me. I guess I like how it focuses on the fact that there are many different ways to practice nudism, instead of divisively arguing whether, e.g., home nudists are "real" nudists, or asking whether you're a nudist OR a naturist (as if they're not the same thing). It's a checklist - not a single choice. That said, some of the categories conflict with others, so it's not like you can just collect the whole set. Let's run down the list real quick, and I'll add some of my own comments.

1. Social Nudists - These are the type of nudists who like to go to resorts and hang out with other nudists. Obviously, I count myself as a social nudist. In spite of my generally solitary lifestyle, I do appreciate the opportunities and the sense of community that comes from being part of a group of like minds. Especially within such a fringe minority.

2. Home Nudists - These are often contrasted with social nudists, in the sense that they prefer privacy and are comfortable in their own skin, but not so much in front of other people. While there is some merit to that distinction, it feels weird for me to say that I'm not a home nudist, seeing as I spend so much time at home nude. I just think there's room to be both, instead of it being strictly either/or.

3. Recreational Nudists - I think this category distinguishes itself from other kinds of nudism (especially social) in that it's activity-centered. For some people, being naked itself is the draw. Others might be willing to strip down as long as there's a purpose to it. While I do find nudity to be its own reward, I also love having something to do while I'm naked. Whether it's household chores, sports, outdoor activities - alone or in a group. Nudity is the best uniform.

4. Naturists - A lot is made of the "difference" between nudism and naturism, but it's largely semantic. In some cases, naturism is just a regional variation of the term "nudism". Which is why it's offensive to suggest that naturists are nudists with principles. Many self-labeled "nudists" share those same principles. That said, I could conceive of a type of nudist who just enjoys being naked, without making it a whole philosophy. But that ain't me. I especially like the connection with nature that's implied by the term naturism. While I like nudism within the bounds of civilization and society, being naked in nature takes it to another level.

5. Occasional Nudists - I feel like this option should have been listed earlier, after social and home nudists, because it's kinda disrupting the flow here. Regardless, these are situational nudists, who are not at all dedicated to the lifestyle, but happy to engage in it - when the right opportunity arises. They might not share that dedication to the lifestyle that you or I have, but they really are a special kind of person. Contrasted with the stereotypical textile who suffers from a culturally-instilled gymnophobia, they are open and accepting and even game to dabble in a different worldview! How wonderful is that?

6. Spiritual Nudists - There's definitely some overlap here with the naturist category. I guess you could distinguish them via a secular versus a religious approach. I'm not normally a religious person, but whatever spirituality I experience is definitely related to nudity. Part of that is the rapture one experiences in response to a fine specimen of naked beauty. But it's also about the fundamental truth of our being, and our connection to the universe, which I feel most profoundly when I'm naked in nature.

7. Political Nudists - Not all nudists like to get political. Some fear drawing negative attention to themselves or their lifestyle. Some even accept their underclass status, and prefer to hide away in self-loathing, lashing out against their braver peers who dare to stand up for their own community's civil liberties. I apologize if there's some venom in my voice. I understand that not everyone is in a position to stick their necks out and rock the boat, but I resent the frequency with which these accommodationists accuse those of us who are willing to fight for the right to freedom of dress of being antisocial perverts who just want to expose ourselves to strangers in public. How can they even call themselves nudists if they view the human body from the textiles' perspective - as something ugly and offensive that must be shielded from public view (or worse, something that requires consent, like a sex act)? Especially in this day and age, if you're not political, then you're not doing your civic duty.

8. Family Nudists - I can't say that I'm a family nudist, only because I don't have a family of my own. But if I did, I would be. It's not an easy path to walk in this society, but I couldn't do it any other way. So I have lots of respect for those who are able to navigate the obstacles. Some nudists are understandably cagey about mixing nudism with children, but if you ask me, nudism without children isn't even really nudism. It's just an "adult" activity - like the kind nudists try to distance themselves from. Children, therefore, are the proof of concept. They're what keeps nudism pure and honest.

A View From The Sidelines

As you may know, I enjoy playing volleyball. It's a hobby I picked up from my experiences visiting nudist resorts over the last fifteen years. There's an annual tournament I used to like to attend, and this year I returned for the first time since the COVID lockdowns. The best part of the tournament is being able to play volleyball nude with other like-minded (open-minded) people, whether you win or lose. But I won't deny that another part of the fun is getting to sit on the sidelines and watch top level athletes - both men and women - perform at a professional level on the volleyball courts, in the nude.

A particular moment sticks out in my mind, that stirred up a lot of thoughts in my head. It's important to me that I describe this situation with tact, because I don't want to give the wrong impression. Between matches, one of the players stood in my line of sight, not ten feet from where I was standing, to rest and get a quick bite to eat. Although these things are subjective, to my eyes she looked incredible. And hers was a perfect, natural beauty - not the manufactured kind that utilizes plastic surgery and excessive makeup in a gross over-exaggeration of femininity, to stimulate men of poor taste who have only one thing on their minds.

As an artist, I was utterly mesmerized by the scene that had spontaneously formed in front of me. A beautiful young woman, completely nude, amidst a crowd of mostly dressed people (it was a bit chilly that day), in a totally relaxed atmosphere, without spectacle. Keeping in mind the typical demographic of someone who is comfortable being naked in a crowd of strangers, as a female under 40 (under 25, even!), she was doubly exotic. Triply, if you include the fact that she was in prime, athletic shape. I had to inwardly marvel at her calm acceptance of those circumstances. What a wondrous thing! I would hate for it to be ruined - for her to receive anything even remotely resembling negative or unwanted attention.

That said, I couldn't get over how picturesque the scene was. If this had happened on a public street, and I were a street photographer, and I'd snapped that shot, it would have been an award-winning photograph. (At the very least, great promotional material for the tournament). The juxtaposition of bodies, the novelty of the situation, the casualness with which it occurred, and the beauty on display... It goes without saying that this would never happen. Not on a public street - and on the grounds of a nudist camp, photography is strictly prohibited. I can't help that that fact stirs up a conflict within me.

Why should capturing an image of such a thing - such a beautiful, positive, and innocent thing - be forbidden? It kills me that people are the way they are - not the people who make these rules, but the people who behave in such a terrible fashion that these rules become necessary. What does that say about our own humanity, that we can't have nice things because we're so fundamentally rotten to our core? "In the face of beauty, evil was lost"? Rather, "by the hand of evil, beauty is lost". Is it so horrible that a scene like this would be preserved, to be shared with people who did not experience it firsthand, and to exist beyond the fading memory within my brain?

Sure, not everyone would appreciate the image for the "right" reasons. (For my part, my appreciation of the scene was predominantly aesthetic, and not erotic - I would admit it if that weren't the case). As I said, I would hate for the situation to have been ruined by poor behavior in the moment. That's something I like about nudism - that we can all hang out completely naked and still behave like civilized creatures. It's the reason nudist camps have tall fences and strict guidelines, despite how free-minded and laidback we generally are. I wouldn't change that. I just wish it could coexist compatibly with the mindset that beauty is a virtue, while acknowledging the potential for photography to be an innocent expression of that, and not solely the vile and existential threat it is perceived to be, in the unfortunate hands of the depraved*.

---

*It won't win me any brownie points to say this, but I would argue that most people who just want to snap a picture of a hottie are pretty harmless. So they might add it to their "spank bank"? So what? There's no harm in that, other than a sociogenically manufactured psychic distress, which is born of a fundamentally sex-negative upbringing. Is it because it might be spread around the internet? I sympathize with the fear of being branded with the stigma we reserve for people our culture sees as having "loose morals" (which would pertain to those who willingly get naked in front of strangers, no matter how innocent the context). But that stigma is unjust. Such a fear only reinforces it. And it's not right, once again, to deny ourselves of what little pleasures this struggle that is life affords us, on account of the flawed nature of the human race. If I could nuke mankind and replace it with a more evolved species, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Meanwhile, I have to exist with the knowledge of what could be - the paradise we could be living in - frustrated by a daily reminder of the trash heap we've relegated ourselves to...

Dignity

Being confident in your skin, being an artist who focuses on the subject of the human body, even being a sex worker - people say these things lack dignity. That's a lie. You can do these things, you can be these things, and still maintain your dignity. What people are talking about when they say that is not a function of who or what you are, but the way they treat you. It's not that you lack dignity. It's that other people are choosing not to treat you with dignity. And that's their personality flaw. Not yours. When they say you lack self-respect, what they're really saying is that they lack respect for others. Don't let them confuse you. You deserve to be treated with dignity, and given the respect I know you reserve for yourself.

Easy Target

I recently started getting emails again from fotocommunity (I'm not going to link them, for reasons that will soon become clear), a photo-sharing website I prospectively joined years ago but never actually used. I like the idea of sharing a gallery of some of my best photos (maybe my coolest clone shots and loveliest landscape nudes) and, you know, perhaps getting some professional recognition. But I visited again just long enough to confirm that in order to share in and even access the nude gallery, you have to pay for a premium membership (I suspect this is why I never used it to begin with - it's just been so long I've forgotten). Which is the reason I finally deleted my account on Flickr, after the most recent changes (a few years back).

Look, I can understand that, as a website dedicated to art, you want to provide some kind of barrier to make sure the people who contribute to the nude community are serious, and the whole thing doesn't just devolve into a den of smut. I get that. I don't even disagree with it! And also, consumption of nudes is big business, so it's a great way to take people's money. But you need to learn how to distinguish collaborators from consumers*. I wouldn't be there just to browse nudes and satisfy my baser urges. I'm a sophisticated nude artist. With not only years, but decades of experience! (Well, 18 years at last count - my photography is old enough to star in porn!).

I would be contributing good quality content - not just photos, but insight and reflection on other people's works. But you're gonna discriminate against me as an artist, because my chosen specialty is nude photography, and treat me like a lousy pervert, making me PAY you to provide valuable content to YOUR website to draw even more subscriptions (from which I'll never see a stinking dime). I'm not a fool. I'm already engaged in effectively unpaid labor. I'm not gonna give away the fruits of those labors for someone to make a profit off of them, while NOT ONLY leaving me out of the loop, but requiring that I cough up money I don't have so THEY can exploit ME. If somebody did that to me without me voluntarily giving them my consent, it would be a clear violation of my rights! So then why would I agree to that?

It makes me so mad. And there isn't a thing I can do about it, but suffer even more by being excluded from the global community of artists who do something similar to what I do. Am I being unreasonable here? Sometimes I wish someone would come along and finally disabuse me of my principled delusions, and show me a better way to live. But I'm just too damn smart. For me to believe someone who contradicts me, they would have to actually outwit me, to convince me they're right. And there are very few people in the world who could do that - and those that could have absolutely no interest in me (and I don't blame them).

*Although such an arrangement could backfire on me, because they would almost certainly overlook the artistic merit in my pictures, and just see someone who doesn't even use a professional camera, and is willing to take pornographic photos (which, I don't know, displays a fundamental "deviance" in my psychology that would be viewed as "legally unsafe", in terms of trusting me not to breach their walls of etiquette; like as if making erotica means you're a degenerate who lacks any ability to read a room and follow the rules of the hosting platform), and see me as a liability or someone to drag down the fine quality of their gallery.

And this is the world you expect me to have hope for? To struggle within, in order to better myself and others? I know life's not fair, and nobody out there is advocating for me but myself. Nor is there a God up in the sky to guide things, and mete out cosmic justice. But all I ask is for somebody to throw a bone my way. To see my potential and give me an opportunity. I'm willing to work for it. I'm just not going to sacrifice my principles and prostitute myself out for it. That should make me MORE qualified for this kind of a position, not less... But capitalism needs spineless wage slaves, not free-thinking innovators.

Machine Bias

I want to express myself creatively - like anybody else could. It just so happens that a subject I'm interested in is the human body. I have a concept that's not even sexual in nature (although I would argue that it shouldn't matter even if it was; but to make my argument even stronger, it's not). But because it involves people in minimal clothing - albeit clothing that is perfectly street legal, and that you can see in real life anywhere people go swimming - my access to the tools everyone else can use is limited. Why? Because of the paranoid fear that somebody somewhere might use their imagination to achieve sexual gratification. (I'm not making this up, it's what ChatGPT told me - I'd share the chatlogs, but I deleted my account in abject frustration). No matter how likely or unlikely that possibility is, or whether it has anything to do with my own artistic intent. As if that would be such a horrible thing, anyway.

And so here I am, artistically frustrated, because I can't express my own voice in society, in creative protest against the way things are, which is the only way I could ever possibly change public sentiment, or at least raise awareness. And this is in spite of the fact that public protest is not only supposed to be a guaranteed civil right, but one of the fundamental values our country was allegedly founded upon. Yes, of course, I can still speak my mind, probably without censure. But my vocabulary is limited, and my access to the same tools of expression others can use is restricted. How is that not discrimination, that unfairly disadvantages me because my beliefs run counter to the accepted mainstream point of view? If you ask me, that sounds unconstitutional. But now more than ever, there is no such thing as justice or even liberty in this country. My efforts are futile. My voice is silenced. And I can do nothing but lick the hand that has put me in chains.

The Skinny on Dipping

This past Saturday was "Skinny Dip Day", which - as I understand it - occurs on the second Saturday in July. I was not able to participate (personally, I'd choose a weekday for an activity like this), but I've more than made up for it on any number of other occasions already this year. However, while camping this weekend, I did end up hiking through an unexpected rain shower, and later paid an impromptu visit to a "swimming hole". And it's given me some food for thought. Now, I'm torn between the desire to broadcast my observations to everyone I know, and the fear of how it would reflect on me, complaining about how "unfair" it is that I can't walk around naked in front of other people, instead of appreciating the good times I undoubtedly had.

Since you're reading this here, you know which side won out in the end. That's just not the person I want to be seen as. On the one hand, I'm dissatisfied with the way our culture approaches the human body. I want to change the world. And I know I can't do that unless I speak out, and raise a fuss. But I am not the pivot upon which the world rotates. What little sway I have among my inner circle I wield zealously, but progress is a slow drip. And I have much to lose from a potential misunderstanding, if I press too firmly on a subject that is notorious for being misinterpreted. It's a tight rope to walk, being a counterculture revolutionary, while still maintaining other people's trust and respect. But for the record, here is what's going through my mind.

It's a matter of perspective. As a visitor to this planet, I think I can understand the rationale behind the general prohibiton of public nudity. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I can understand where it comes from. Man is a filthy animal. But few aspects of human behavior confound me on so personal a level as the way in which people will permit their hang-ups about their own bodies to prevent them (nay, not just themselves, but others too) from avoiding the discomfort of wearing wet clothing - clothing that doesn't keep you dry in the first place, and retains moisture (sapping your body heat) long after your bare skin would have dried in the open air, even without the aid of a towel. It's irrational!

In addition to the self-inflicted torture of forced discomfort (not to mention the psychological toll of going through life hating your own body), some of the simplest pleasures in life are denied us when we cling so tightly to our man-made coverings, out of the fear of being reminded of what our anatomy looks like, and the function it serves. Not least of these is a joyful feeling of freedom the likes of which few ever experience in our culture. It sounds like a trite cliche, but take it from one with experience - it really is true.

As an artist, I also like to cite the beauty inherent in our design. What's the point of an attractive body if nobody gets to admire it? That's like draping a tarp over an exquisitely crafted statue! I stand by that argument, even though I'll begrudgingly admit that few of us approach the Platonic ideal of the sculpted human form. However, I'd rather suffer the chaff for the sake of the wheat, than gouge out my eyes to spite the unremarkable ordinary. Wouldn't you? (Don't answer that).

Regardless, swimming is one activity that seems to make a mockery of our usual commitment to so-called "decency" and "modesty". Yet, it seems silly to go only so far, and then still stop short of the finish line, leaving you to your silly towel dance while you try to peel off a wet pair of shorts that clings defiantly to your legs (after which you immediately re-robe while your skin is still damp). Truly, an enlightened race of men would discard such ridiculous customs, acknowledge the dignity in our natural form, and simply swim nude under the open sky, like literally every other living creature on this planet.

If believing that makes me the crazy one, then I don't want to be sane. I just don't want to be labeled a menace to society, for thinking there's a better way than hiding a truth we all pretend not to know - namely, what we look like under our clothes.

Stopped Clock

Speaking as somebody who has spent years working adjacent to the sex industry, mainstream cultural attitudes (and the laws they inform) towards sex and the human body are, quite simply put, fucked up.

I remember years ago trying to determine my own political affiliation, and searching for the "sex positive" party. Turns out, there isn't one. Conservatives are lying hypocrites - in some cases, they'll acknowledge the inconvenient truths about human sexuality, but they'll spoil it by adopting poisonous religious attitudes about virtue and purity. In essence, recognizing their nature as sinful, and punishing themselves (but more likely others) for it.

But even secular liberals often come up short, brainwashed by extremist gender politics into believing that sex is a foreign contaminant that must be artificially introduced to a system (news flash: we are sexual organisms to our very core), and handled like a loaded gun, lest it pop the bubble of a person's innocence (read: ignorance) without their express written consent. Consent that is granted by the government as a privilege, instead of wielded by citizens as a right.

To be fair, even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Sex workers deserve rights (not that this is a mainstream view). And sexual violence is abhorrent (not aberrant, unfortunately - which means unusual - but certainly abhorrent - which means detestable). But it gives me no satisfaction to lend support and legitimacy at these times to an easily hijacked system of machinery that routinely disseminates misinformation and proudly reinforces deep-seated shame.

Just to give you two very prominent examples... Take the "trafficking" debate. Ever heard the phrase, "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions?" Now imagine how much the Devil has to gain by financing this expressway with an aggressive marketing campaign dedicated to eradicating evil. When you call taking people's freedom away (to make their own choices about their own bodies) "ending slavery", of course you're going to get a groundswell of support.

And then there's "sex crime". What better strategy could there be to undermine people's relationships to their own fundamentally sexual nature than to highlight the fact that people DO sometimes (unfortunately) commit crimes of a sexual nature against innocent victims? Sex is a tool; its value is determined by the hand that wields it. It can be used as a weapon to hurt and steal. Or it can be treated more like a toy, to give and share pleasure.

I'd like to see more of the latter. But in the meantime, I'm not going to let the presence of the former cast a pall over my life and spoil the joy our bodies are designed to experience.

Legacy of a Starving Artist

Of course I'd love to profit materially from the art I create. And from a cosmic perspective, I do believe I'm underpaid for the effort I put in, and the quality of work I put out. But neither universal law nor human society has ever been fair.

I obviously don't do it for the money. So, in the grand scheme of things, even were I to be ripped off and die penniless (which I'm pretty sure is gonna happen anyway), I would still be satisfied that I made the art that I made, and that I released it into the world. Even if I don't profit from it.

Its creation and dissemination still represent a net positive from my point of view. Not just because it has given me joy throughout my life - both in the journey (making pictures), and the destination (having pictures to share) - which it has.

But also because the beauty of the unclothed human body is something I believe strongly in. It's something that I want there to be more exposure to in the world. And it's something that powerful forces exert considerable influence to suppress.

It's like we've lost one of the simplest and most satisfying pleasures in life, ever since we left the garden and lost sight of the fundamental divinity inherent to our physical form. And what I'm doing is reminding people of that, even if most of them have fallen from grace and can't recognize it for what it truly is.

I may never be famous or renowned in the art world, even long after I'm dead. But the thought that somewhere, somehow, people might still be passing my images around for generations to come - as an expression of that beauty, and also of the simple pleasure in eroticism (free from the doctrine of shame)...

Well, that would make me happy. And it wouldn't be the worst legacy I could leave to the world, when my time here is done.

The Ballad of Broken Eggshells

Being a nudist in a textile-obsessed culture (or "clothes-minded" society, if you will :-p) is not the easiest thing in the world. I'm committed to it in spite of its challenges, because the mental and physical benefits it brings to my life are priceless and irreplaceable.

But one of the sacrifices you have to make is that other people will start to doubt - and eventually no longer trust - your fashion sense.* Not just because typically eschewing clothes leaves you in the dark about current trends. (You can, as I do, be a nudist and still have an interest in fashion). I mean when it comes down to the question of public decency.

But the fact that I would walk down main street completely naked if it were socially acceptable, doesn't mean that I don't understand or value the importance of context when it comes to dress codes. I'm a little bit more willing to push the boundaries - yeah. I would argue that doing so is not only healthy, but necessary in a free society.

But I'm not ignorant of social propriety, and I'm not clinically insane, either. What I am is willing to take responsibility for my own fashion choices, if and when I should ever make a mistake and breach the rules of social etiquette. My decisions with regard to how I adorn my body are a major part of my lifestyle - I'm prepared for the potential consequences they may provoke.

And though I do value your opinion - I know I'm not a perfect, infallible creature, and sometimes I need the guidance of an external perspective - I don't need you to protect me from any possibility of fallout, when doing so amounts to squandering my creative spirit. If you know me, you should know that I'm not normally prone to reckless decision making. But if I end up breaking a few eggs over the course of my lifetime in pursuit of the perfect omelette (and my track record so far speaks for itself), that's a price I'm conscious of, and willing to pay.

*Being gender non-conforming compounds this problem, as there are so many cases where a man could be heavily censured for literally wearing the exact same thing a woman would wear without fanfare (like a skirt and heels in the office, or a series of tiny triangles connected by strings at the pool in front of the kids). There's so much baked into this, from the different ways in which we view men's and women's bodies, to how much women's clothing is deliberately fashioned to exude sexuality - and the extent to which we accept this openly without flinching, even as we cower in fear before any reminder that a man's body can be sexual, too. (Which is in stark contrast to, but does not contradict, the fact that our society traditionally commends men for expressing their sexual agency even as it condemns women for doing the same thing).

We need to address this imbalance, because although we can invent reasons to treat men's and women's bodies differently, at the end of the day, it's simply not fair to have different standards for people based on whether they have a penis or a vagina - something nobody chooses at birth. And in the meantime, it puts the transgender community in a uniquely dangerous position, as they (in many cases reluctantly) navigate the front lines in a war against outdated and regressive stereotypes, in search of peace, understanding, and self-love.

Addiction

Nude photography is an addiction. To be fair, there are much worse things to be addicted to in this life. That's for certain. But it doesn't change the fact that nude photography is an addiction.

Maybe you've never tried it - and it might not be for everyone - but I think that running around naked is a lot of fun. You shouldn't need any more justification than that to do it. But being a nude artist is a pretty good excuse. Among other things, it gives you plausible deniability in the case that somebody accuses you of "inappropriate conduct", since we live in a culture that can't seem to separate the beauty and pleasure of nudity from the taboo of sexuality.

Now, in the course of shooting nude photography, every so often you'll snap a picture, review it on your camera, and be blown away by how magnificent it looks. But that doesn't mean you're done. The feeling of accomplishment won't have you packing up and going home. No, the excitement of uncovering something so beautiful will have you wanting to capture another one. So you'll keep at it, and get absorbed in the thrill of the chase. Will the next picture be another sparkling diamond? And who can have too many diamonds?

In the meantime, you'll have more reason to spend even more time running around naked. Chances are, you won't stop until you're exhausted, or it's getting dark and you have to get home, so you can wash up and have dinner. But the next time you have an opportunity - on the next warm day, perhaps - you'll be itching to get out there and do it again. Even if you haven't done anything yet with the pictures you shot last time. And that's how you sink deeper and deeper into the hole...

Is there an escape to this spiraling obsession? I wouldn't know. But please tell me if you find one. ;-p