The Ghosts of Halloween

(Past, Present, and Future)

[description: three clones pose outdoors in different Halloween costumes]
Sexy Witch, Prom Scream Queen, Jedi Warrior Princess

I like to recycle Halloween costumes that I really like, and wear them for two or three years to get the most enjoyment out of them. These three costumes have carried me through the last eight years or so:

[description: series of portraits dressed for Halloween from 2011 through 2016]

I think I decided to go as Alice in Wonderland at the last minute because it was really cold and I thought the thigh-high socks would give me a little extra warmth while trick 'r' treating. Excessively cold Halloweens are always a bummer. Who wants to go to all the trouble of stripping down and dressing like a slut, only to have to put on a heavy winter jacket and cover up?

[description: two portraits dressed as a Jedi Warrior Princess]
Halloweens 2017 and 2018

So I'm thinking that next year I might try out something new. What do you think I should be? I've been looking at some Poison Ivy costumes. She's a sexy character - although that's true of all the female Batman supervillains. Harley Quinn is a little overdone right now (not that I'm complaining), but it might be fun to go as Catwoman and dress myself in head to toe black leather... Still, I'd prefer to keep my costumes thematically appropriate - more scary than geeky. Not that there's anything wrong with dressing up like a superhero or a cartoon or comic book character (not at all), just that there are better times for that - this is Halloween, not a comic convention.

I've always wanted to do a Freddy Krueger costume - they have a cute version for women where the sweater is converted into a dress. I'd just need to find a good quality glove to go with it - the ones they sell in stores are cheap, plastic, and comically oversized. I guess I'm spoiled because I saw a replica Freddy Krueger glove at a toy show once that was really well made. It had real metal blades (presumably unsharpened), and a weight to it - it felt good on my hand. At the time, I thought the price tag of $50 was a little steep, but in hindsight, I regret not buying it. I actually came back the next day and it was already gone. It may seem trivial to shell out good money for what amounts to a prop, but as you can see, I paid over a hundred dollars to get a decent quality lightsaber for my Jedi Warrior Princess costume. It makes a difference. Both in appearance - for the sake of pictures - and just for the fun of the costume. Now I wish I could get a more accurate and well-made version of that slave outfit. The cheap, costume version is overly modest, compared to movie canon...

Costume Lineup

I get very excited about the idea of trying on Halloween costumes, but I always end up underwhelmed by the experience. The costumes are often cheaply made (especially given their cost), photographed with lots of unincluded accessories (honestly, I think 95% of the "sexualization" of Halloween costumes comes from the fishnet tights and high heels used in the product photography, which aren't even part of the costumes!), and the fitting booths (always makeshift, with cardboard walls, not like real fitting rooms) leave much to be desired, with dark lighting (it's impossible to take a good picture of a black costume against black walls and curtains - and black is a popular Halloween color!), ill-positioned mirrors, and never any stools or even hooks to hang your clothes on.

And then there's the costumes themselves, which give you the sense that the manufacturers are playing "how many different patterns can we put on a cheap, spandex unitard?" It's a racket, I tell you. Plus, they're designed in very general sizes - often the dreaded "one size fits most". I like a good sexy Halloween costume, but if you compare the adult and children's versions of a particular costume, the adult version inevitably features ample room for the bust. Now I have nothing against great, heaving bosoms, but I simply can't fill them out, and I wish that "small chest" wasn't associated with modesty (the inverse of the idea that big breasts = oozing sexuality). I just can't seem to win! But, even so, there's no denying the thrill of putting on a costume and playing dress-up for an evening. I guess that's how they get you...

[description: series of fitting room photos in various Halloween costumes]

Restaurant Flash

I recently got this awesome dress - I'll have to take more pictures of it. It has a deep slit directly in the front, where two panels overlap. It's a lot of fun to wear without panties - you can flash in one quick motion, or even just as easily as kneeling down to the floor - but kinda dangerous, too. Just walking across the parking lot caused my skirt to blow apart a little too much! And I felt quite naked walking around the store, not knowing how high up the slit was parting with every step. It's definitely made for exhibitionists. I wish I could catch all these spontaneous moments on camera, but I at least got this one shot of the view underneath the table, while sitting at a restaurant:

[description: upskirt view of a penis under the table in a restaurant]

Fashion Dump

I was browsing through some old photos from last year, and I came across some that I never posted. I guess when you're not doing a daily project and mining your catalog for every usable photo, some of them tend to fall by the wayside. Especially fitting room photos.

As much fun as it is to share the clothes I try on, sifting through those photos is a pain in the neck. I try to take a lot, just to increase the chances of getting a good one, but even then, it's hit or miss. And if I'm shopping like two or three days in a week, it adds up fast. Plus, when I've just tried on the clothes and taken the pictures, I tend to focus on the little imperfections that mar a given shot. Or sometimes I just don't like the lighting in a fitting room, or the mirror is in an awkward spot, or there's not enough room to get a good shot.

Months later, though, looking back, it can be a joy to see me wearing something interesting that I only ever tried on once (assuming I ended up not buying it - which is, inevitably, the fate of most things I try on). And, sometimes, you come across something that has since made its way into your closet, and get to see it again as it was the first time you ever tried it on!

[description: series of fitting room selfies in (and out of) a variety of dresses]

Validation

Not to inflate my own ego - I don't consider myself any kind of talented fashion expert. I just know what I like, and what I think is cute or sexy, and what I would like to see on an attractive girl. And I'm also not afraid to express those tastes - even if it means wearing a pretty dress and high heels just to go grocery shopping. It's not like I go to a lot of fancy dinner parties or what have you, and have lots of chances to dress up. But I have to say it pleases me that I frequently get complimented on my outfits by the employees of my favorite local overstock fashion retailer.

It makes me feel validated to get that kind of approval from genetic females - like I've been accepted and am part of the club. Not that you have to pass any kind of test to validate your gender; after all, most people are born into it without even trying, and I have no doubt that I'm more feminine than a not insignificant percentage of the female half of the population (which doesn't, necessarily, make them any less female).

But given that I wasn't born into the female gender, I do feel kinda like I have to prove myself, and situations like this (also being the one to draw the attention of males while in a group of females - though to be fair, I have a really firm grasp of what boys are attracted to) help me feel like I deserve to call myself the gender I identify with. I can almost hear the chorus of voices chanting "one of us, one of us" into my ear. ;-p

Interstate Rest Stop

[description: restroom mirror selfie in a dress with skirt lifted to reveal a penis]

I love this full-body mirror, even if it's a little bit warped. It came in handy on this day. I wasn't wearing any underwear because it's always hard re-adapting to textile culture after you've been camping at a nudist resort. So I opted to wear something that covers (minimally), but doesn't bind. I think, more than anything else, the swinging of your genitals is an indicator of the feeling of freedom that nudity brings. Unfortunately, that's also the thing that can get a man in a skirt into trouble if he's not careful. (Especially if he's enjoying it a little too much...).

Try This On For Size (Girly Version)

So, this time, I was shopping in the children's department for a change. Most of the clothes won't fit me, of course, but every once in awhile I'll find something in a larger size that I can manage, and be pleasantly surprised. I don't care if anyone thinks it's weird; I like the ultra-girly aesthetic - sparkles and unicorns and mermaids (and other clichés). I resent the fact that women are expected to grow out of these things as they mature. I never had a proper girlhood phase because when I was growing up, I was under the mistaken impression that I was a boy (having a penis can do that to you). Sure, I enjoyed my Jurassic Park clothes and whatnot (girls can like dinosaurs, too), but now if I want to dress up in a sequined butterfly dress, I'm faced with the difficulty of finding one in a size that will fit an adult, much less a male (since, even at full size, women are statistically smaller than men) - and don't get me started on shoes...

[description: fitting room selfies in short shorts and a tied-off volleyball t-shirt]

This is what I wore to the store. (It was damn hot that day). It is itself a shirt I bought at Justice at the mall - the silver volleyball shimmers in sunlight. I was actually hoping to find some belly shirts (as you can see, I had to tie this one off at the back). All the ones I've had have gotten worn out (surprisingly fast). They're so sexy, though, and now that I'm trim enough to show off my midriff with confidence, I owe it to myself (and the world) to wear them more often.

[description: fitting room selfie in a teal tank top]

I was thinking that I could use some more tank tops (especially fashionable ones, as opposed to plain white), although I worry sometimes, because of the way they frame my chest and arms, about giving off a more masculine sort of vibe (e.g., bodybuilder, surfer dude). I agree with the sentiment, though - life is definitely better in flip flops!

[description: fitting room selfie in a white shirt with pink butterflies on it]

Requisite butterflies. Wish I'd gotten a better picture of the front of this shirt - it has a cute bow on it. I don't know why some people think adorability is demeaning. I mean, besides the fact that little girls and baby animals have the reputation for being sweet and helpless. If looking at something (or someone) makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside (the "d'awww" effect), that's a good thing, right? Some people like skulls because they're dark and brooding. Other people like butterflies because they're light and playful. Both tastes are legitimate. Anyway, as Madonna once explained, if you dislike something primarily because of its association with girliness, that belies an underlying lack of appreciation for girls and everything they stand for. I like girls (girls are awesome!), so to me "girliness" is a positive quality.

[description: fitting room selfies in a black, off-the-shoulder, ruffled top]

This off-the-shoulder look is so cute. It makes me think of dance.

[description: fitting room selfie in a long-sleeved, hot pink shrug]

Forgive me, but every time I see a "shrug", I can't help wondering what it would be like wearing it all by itself. So I had to try it out. It seems perfectly shaped to cover my nipples (although not very securely, as an overhead stretch would likely leave me completely exposed). It's definitely a different sort of look - though not a bad one, I think.

[description: fitting room selfies in a sporty, light pink dress]

I thought this dress was very cute. The top almost looks sporty. It's even worse at hiding my nipples than that shrug was, though. :-x

[description: fitting room selfies in a checkered cami and flower-print shorts]

I asked a friend whom I consider to be an amateur fashion consultant to pick an outfit for me from the racks (just for fun), and this is what she came up with. It looked very cute on me, although the shorts were a bit tight. It was also more expensive than the other pieces I tried on. But it was a lot of fun! I hope to do it again sometime.

Car Sex

[description: series of portraits of two naked people having sex in a car]

No doubt, there are those who would say that much of the art I produce is pornographic, whether due to the presence of erections, "lascivious" exhibition of the genitals, or, from a more conservative standpoint, the fact that I pose the naked human body unselfconsciously as an object of [presumably sexual] desire.

The truth is that I produce very little imagery that is sexually explicit in a strict sense - a masturbation video from time to time, and the rare portrait of sexual intercourse. I'd like to do more of the latter, but it provides significant obstacles, not least of which is that, as a self-portrait photographer, it is very hard to get a good picture of yourself having sex, because you're going to be highly distracted and not sufficiently focused on the photography aspect of the activity.

I imagine it would be a whole lot easier to photograph somebody else having sex, but those opportunities are even fewer and farther between. Moreover, though I am a pervert, I'm not simply interested in producing smut (lord knows there's plenty of that available), but sophisticated erotic art, and, to that end, I'd want to start with model-caliber actors (how often do you get to see beautiful people having sex, as opposed to just horny people? Beautiful people usually have other things going for them and don't need to rely on/can't handle the stigma, unfortunately, of pornographic work), which rules out just asking a couple of exhibitionists from the local chapter of Swingers Anonymous.

Or, I guess in this case, not so anonymous. Which is another issue - there are a lot of logistics involved with producing sexually explicit media. The social aspect (most people don't want to be known as "porn stars") is unavoidable, but the government does their part in making it all the more difficult to depict and share this ubiquitous aspect of the human condition. God bless America? I'd prefer to live deliciously.

Dress Code: Beach Rules

Because the beach rules!

[description: fashion selfie in a teal, patterned bikini with purse and flip flops]

I am reminded of an article I came across during my speedo/bikini survey, about a tourist town banning swimsuits in the city, because of people wandering in from the beach. And I just can't wrap my head around why anyone would want to have less of a good thing. Why do some people insist on spoiling other people's fun? I wish I could wear a bikini - and I wish I could encounter other people wearing bikinis - anywhere and everywhere I go, provided the weather's right and all that.

Am I really that much of an outlier, because I don't like rules that force people to cover up? I mean, I know I'm a nudist, and nudists aren't exactly in the majority, but skin exposure sells. So why is it such a taboo? I just really love and enjoy the human body that much. Of course, not all of them are picture perfect, but the good ones more than make up for the bad. I wish opportunities to appreciate them weren't so few and far between.

Skimpy Sunshine

So, I was thinking about things I have that I could wear to do yard work in, that cover me up the least amount required by law. And I decided to give these ultra-skimpy bikini bottoms a try. They are quite sexy, but let me tell you, I was so distracted by myself while wearing them, that I kept getting sidetracked taking pictures of myself in them. But it was fun.

[description: a man poses in the sunshine in a scandalously skimpy bikini bottom]

I'm a straightforward, "keep nothing hidden" kind of guy, but the thrill of the almost can be so tantalizing sometimes.

[description: further selfies in the aforementioned bikini bottom]

I was also thinking about what I could wear that would give me a sexy, suggestive tan line for those times when I can be naked.

[description: a man in a skimpy bikini bottom lays out in the sunshine]

I'm not generally fond of tan lines from an aesthetic perspective, but one thing that's fun is being able to tell when people spend a lot of time with a lot of their skin exposed. If you see a nudist with an all-over tan, you know they spend a lot of time outdoors in the sun without a stitch on their body. For those who don't have an opportunity to practice nudism on more than an occasion here and there, sometimes you can tell by their tan what kind of swimsuits they've recently worn to the beach. And while voyeurism and exhibitionism are frowned upon in nudist environments - everyone's exposed and nobody cares - textile beaches are a different story. So you can imagine just how exposed a person with a skimpy tan line was at one point while probably surrounded by people who most likely weren't nudists.

[description: closeup on the torso of a man sunning in a skimpy bikini bottom]

(That is, unless they were cheating, like me). :-p

[description: high-angle selfies revealing a penis plainly visible behind the waistband]

Viewed from a certain angle, you can see how precarious the fit is. It's little more than a rubber band stretched across my waist. :-x

[description: an engorged penis arcs well above the waistband of a skimpy bikini bottom]

In this condition, one must be cautious about becoming too excited. ;-)

[description: further selfies emphasize how low the bikini bottom sits on the hips]

I was also inspired by a girl I saw at the water park wearing swimsuit bottoms that were actually this skimpy. And you know how I feel about equality of the sexes. -_^