I just went on an impromptu camping trip to take advantage of this late summer heat wave, and to make up for the earlier camping trip that was ruined by extreme flooding - but this time by myself, so I could focus on the activity I love more than just about anything in the world: outdoor nude recreation! Or, more specifically, nude wilderness exploration. And self-portrait photography, because the two go together like peanut butter and jelly. My self-portrait photography is enhanced by the wild locations and scenic vistas I seek out, and my wilderness exploration is indeed spurred on by my mad artistic pursuit of visual documentation of the wonder and sheer joy I feel being naked in the great outdoors. The only thing missing is a buddy who shares my level of passion, and has the stamina to keep up with me, climbing mountains and yet still having the energy to dash back and forth to wherever I set up my camera tripod.
Among other things packed into my busy, three day excursion, on this trip I conducted a staggering three hour photoshoot for a clone shot that involved multiple costume changes (oh, how I prefer the simplicity of nude modeling). The theme is a concept I came up with years ago, depicting a scene from the Garden of Eden. It's designed to send a message, emphasizing the contradiction between a spiritual view of nudity (and/or sexuality) and the false notion of modesty or purity that is passed off as "virtue" in organized religion. It's a concept that obviously hits home for me, and a message that I want to spread far and wide, so the level of expectation I had for this photoshoot was high. The location I picked couldn't be more perfect - it's a very old tree "hidden" (though not hard to find, if you know what to look for) in a protected wilderness area that's revered by locals in the know as a magic tree, often referred to as 'the tree of life'.
That said, the lighting was a nightmare to work with (hence the three hours I spent shooting). The weather constantly altered between sunny and cloudy, sometimes switching as quickly as during the ten seconds it took me to hit the shutter button on my camera and then run into place and strike a pose. At one point, as I was waiting (between costumes) for a cloud bank to pass, a group of tree hunters showed up (I lunged for my sarong) to get their pictures in front of the tree. They were friendly, and we engaged in some light conversation, as I patiently waited for them to move on so I could get back to figuring out how to wear a string of ivy as clothing. I have concerns about whether I pulled the whole thing off (in spite of the monumental effort I put into it - and considerable frustration I got out of it), but I won't know until I've had some time to work on the images in post-production.
But that wasn't even the highlight of my trip! On the previous day, I hiked up the back side of a mountain, to spend hours trawling the epic ridgeline along the top, exhausting myself with picture opportunities every few steps, as the breathtaking views (and eminently climbable rock formations) kept coming and coming, without letting up. And do you know what the best part was? I didn't encounter a single person, so I was able to spend the entire day completely nude, in one of the most picturesque locations I've ever been! In my heart I didn't want it to ever end, but my body was getting more and more tired with each shoot, the sun dropping as the hours passed (I eventually made it back to my car - at the bottom of the mountain - after a deep twilight had set in), with a nagging thought tugging at the back of my mind, that my memory card could only hold so many pictures and videos, and I still had that mammoth costume shoot to do the next day.
But that's not all! At the end of my trip, I still had a couple of hours left to kill, and I wasn't ready to put my clothes on and return to civilization just yet. I had already made the effort to reach this remote wilderness area, and I wanted to make the most of it. So I tried a new trail I'd never hiked before. No cars at the trailhead - and it dragging into late afternoon by that point - said to me that I would have the wilderness all to myself! So I hiked an hour round trip (double that, give or take, factoring in the inevitable picture stops), out into the wilderness and back, fully naked. The scenery was beautiful, and the terrain most pleasant - I didn't even have to wear shoes! The heat of the sun was perfectly balanced by an unrelenting wind roaring over the plains. I felt so alive!
I remember thinking in the moment how delightful it was, not only to be able to experience the natural beauty of this wild planet, beyond the boundaries of civilization and its artificial constructions, but to enjoy it completely unobstructed by the numbing barrier of textiles. When I vocalize it, even in my head - "to walk naked in nature" - it sounds a silly thing to take so seriously. (Or, for those who are threatened by the human body, a serious thing to take so lightly). But words don't do justice to what I felt out there (even pictures can't capture it completely), and how much more vividly I felt it because I wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. I wish I knew how to adequately communicate that feeling to people who haven't tried it, or don't have the disposition for it. They don't have to like it as much as I do - or even at all. I just want them to understand how much it means to me, and be willing to make reasonable - I said reasonable! - concessions, so that I may enjoy those feelings more in life.
[When asked by the above group of tree hunters what I was waiting around for, a part of me wanted to speak honestly and openly. But out of habit, itself borne out of the fear of social disapproval, I instinctively told a half-truth - that I was waiting for the light to change. Maybe next time I'll have the confidence to be more direct - to explain, in a friendly manner, that I was waiting for them to leave so I could take more pictures half-dressed (or less). (You'd think by the fact that I was uncommonly dressed in nary but a sarong, with my long hair flowing like some enchanted forest creature, they might have already suspected more than they, or I, let on). There's no law against saying such things, and communication contributes to awareness. You never know, you might even be met with delighted curiosity instead of the disgusted revulsion you'd expect.]
And what I'm left with now - besides the fond memories that will no doubt last a lifetime, and hopefully inspire similar adventures in the future - is a sagging camera roll that demands attention. I'm eager to pore through those pictures and videos and uncover all the pure moments of beauty I've captured, and even more excited to eventually share them with others who will be able to appreciate them for what they are. But tempering that excitement is the realization that I have a large and growing backlog of similar pictures and videos that I have as yet not had enough time to pore through. And these new ones, as good as they are, are not so much better as to eclipse those in importance. I feel like a dragon, sitting atop a horde of treasure. It's not that I want to keep the treasure to myself - I long to spread it around. I just can't solve the logistical problem of being drawn to collecting shiny things much faster than I can package them for distribution. So it gives me no pleasure to have to say it like this (and I do apologize sincerely, for I understand that time is guaranteed to no one, myself included), but I look forward to the joy I'll be able to extend several years in the future when I'm finally ready to share the wonderful art I've created over these past few days.
