[description: naked bathroom selfie with hands covering naughty bits]
I came across another article on sexting, and it struck me as approaching the issue very much from an abstinence-only sort of perspective. Like, "sexting is risky: don't do it." And this is from an otherwise liberal publication, all about female empowerment. Am I wrong in sensing an ideological contradiction here? Feminists say, "teach men not to rape", not "teach women how not to be raped" (e.g., don't wear this, don't say that, don't go there after dark). Why, then, is it "teach girls not to sext"? Shouldn't it be "teach boys (and girls) not to slut-shame"? We should be holding bullies accountable for their harassment - not teaching their victims to refrain from expressing themselves, in order to avoid the attention.
And why is confidence always considered telling boys no, but never having pride in one's appearance and wanting to show it off? ("Just say no" is an anti-consent platform). Sexual repression is not a requisite for the empowerment of women. Why is every girl who sexts a helpless victim (as opposed to an independent agent), and every boy who asks for sexts a deceptive manipulator (as opposed to, say, a doting admirer of the female form)? Is there no context in which the sharing of these sorts of pictures could be considered a positive and healthy expression of eroticism (as I've said before, one that carries zero risk of unplanned pregnancy or transmission of diseases)? When confidences are broken (as they often are) why aren't boys held responsible for their disrespectful behavior toward girls who do them the kindness of indulging their desires and fantasies? I swear I'll never understand the Madonna-whore mentality of boys liking to see girls naked, but then hurting the girls who show them their naked bodies. Isn't it the responsibility of a progressive platform (and just a decent, moral agent besides) to punish the mob throwing rocks - not join in the stoning of their victim? Didn't Christ himself say as much?
Yet why do even girls and their "protectors" contribute to this shaming culture, as if they're being paid off by some conservative lobby who wants less nude images circling around, instead of more respect shown towards each other and their bodies? It's like they see people misbehaving around a sexual trigger, and use it as evidence to support their theory that sex is corrupt and must be avoided, instead of trying to fix the problem and teach young people how to approach sex more maturely (I mean, how are we supposed to expect them to pick this up if we don't teach them?). If you can't encounter a nude woman on the street and not assault her, then #sorrynotsorry, but you need to be culled from the human race, so the rest of us can get on with things. And if you can't treat a girl who sexts with respect, then you seriously need to take a class in human decency, before it's too late and your behavior escalates from teasing a girl until she kills herself, to going out and killing "the little whore" yourself - like a 21st century Jack the Ripper.
[description: naked bathroom selfie with everything exposed]
There's nothing wrong with appreciating the erotic appeal of a nude photo. And there's nothing wrong with letting other people see your naked body. It doesn't diminish your value as a human being. You should know the risks, but it's worth talking about the benefits, too - the reasons people do these things in the first place. Not because they're dumb and impulsive (most adults' proposed "solution" to the problem of sexting is indistinguishable from the immature bullying victims receive from their peers - sometimes leading to suicide), but because it's the driving force in life, that has the power to bring us pleasure.
As both a nudist and an erotic model myself, I want to live in a world - a happier, less sexually-repressed world, where people are held accountable for their treatment of others - where people can do these things and still be respected as human beings, not one where they are shamed in order to stamp out this behavior and fulfill a sexually conservative agenda. If you feel the same way, the best thing you can do in protest is show a naked image of yourself to the world, and give the middle finger to anyone who talks down about you for it.
[description: naked bathroom selfie with two middle fingers]
Tell them, "I am a human being. I have agency. I choose to share my naked body with the world because I am proud of it, and I have the confidence to show it off. And if you don't like it, well you can just fuck off, because you don't get to tell me what I can or cannot do with my body." And all of us who engage in these behaviors need to rally together and support one another. Spread love, not hate.
