[description: photo of a skimpy pair of teal bikini bottoms with scalloped edges]
Don't tell this to my doctor, but even though I like my penis and wouldn't want to lose it, I'd consider getting Sexual Reassignment Surgery just to be able to wear bikinis in public. Can you believe there are women out there who could actually get away with wearing these bottoms? Look at them - they're amazing! Please, tell me what the male equivalent of that is? Perhaps a man could legally wear bikini briefs on public land (probably not on the grounds of a business, though), but that, unlike this, is not an accepted part of our culture. I can go to a general purpose department store at my local mall (in Nowheresville, U.S.A.), and find bikinis like this in multiple colors, patterns, and styles, yet men have no equivalent option. If you're lucky, you might find a Speedo or two at a sporting goods store (because that's athletic wear, not casual fashion), probably in dull, solid colors (most frequently black or blue), and you still won't be permitted to wear it at your local pool. \o/
That gives me an idea, though. Women are campaigning for top freedom (which I wholeheartedly support). I should campaign for bottom equality. Even accounting for the greater protuberance of men's genitalia, singling out swim briefs, and restricting men to the pseudo-option of board shorts or longer board shorts, is sexual discrimination, pure and simple. Sad thing is, justice doesn't carry much weight when it's not popular. I'm sure most men would prefer to just go on "sexually obectifying" women while themselves being free from the pressure of sexual objectification. How come there aren't more women on my side? Come on - guys in Speedos? You know you want to see it!
