An anonymous reader has recently left a comment that has inspired some pretty interesting ruminations about the disparity between my sexual orientation and the demographic constitution of my audience (as an artist and model). I thought my response deserved a post of its own.
"being 'straight' is it awkward knowing men masturbate to you? is it a weird form of turn on? (noting that you have many pictures of you presenting your a55 h0le in your pictures.)"
These are good questions, with complex answers. That most of my audience is male is certainly something I've had to get used to. But as an exhibitionist, I like the feeling of being desired. When I model for erotic art, I'm not looking for hookups - so it really doesn't matter if I'm attracted to the people who appreciate my work. Even if it were women, most of them would still be people I am not specifically attracted to (I have types and preferences; I don't just lust after anything with a vagina). My body of art is for the world to enjoy, not just a few lucky individuals I happen to single out as desirable. That I can contribute to the orgasms of people I am not attracted to - without having to get my hands dirty - pleases me as a sex-positive humanitarian. If I were running for political office, my campaign slogan would be "orgasms for everyone!"
As far as the types of poses I use, I got started out imitating female models because that's what I like - it's what I know. This has actually contributed to my discovery and exploration of my transgender identity. I also happen to enjoy the submissive element, psychologically, of being the receiver in a sexual coupling. It allows me to "feel like a girl". It doesn't necessarily mean that I want a man to be on the other end - a lot of men enjoy anal stimulation and/or penetration, but only from women. That's because the act - the stimulation - can be separated from the person performing it with/on you; it does not rely on a particular type of person (that's why, for example, a woman can enjoy cunnilingus without being a lesbian).
I don't like to get hung up on the "I'm straight" thing, because the fact is, I'm very open-minded, and willing to explore whatever it is that gives me pleasure (and, as a model, what gives other people pleasure, as long as it's within my comfort zone). I also think the terms "gay" and "straight" are problematic for people with non-cisgendered identities. That having been said, I have very little interest or desire in having a sexual relationship or encounter with a man. I wouldn't rule out the possibility completely, and I like to encourage a more fluid interpretation of my sexuality (because there's no virtue in being uptight these days), but sometimes I have to be clear about my interests to avoid undesirable situations. As an artist and model, I am presenting a fantasy to the world - open to interpretation, but not available to take home to bed with you. If you're comfortable with that, then I'm comfortable with that.
