[description: nude fitting room selfies from front and back]
So I went to my local clothing optional boutique - because, what's the point of getting dressed to go to the store when all you're gonna do is get undressed again in order to try on clothes? (I brought my hoodie because it was unseasonably cold that day). I was looking for some more abandoned prom dresses to try on, but there wasn't much to find. I saw a very pretty green one - like in a Tinkerbell shade - but its zipper was completely busted, and there was no point in even trying it on. So I decided to try on another bikini instead.
[description: fitting room selfies from front and back, in a neon pink bikini]
This neon pink bikini totally caught my eye. Can you imagine how eye-catching I would be if I wore it to the pool? But the top is another bandeau-style top, which isn't optimal for my body shape, as I discussed before. It's too bad, because I really like the idea of a strapless top. The suit looks real cute from the back, though! I've bought bikini bottoms alone before, but unless I plan to wear it like a Speedo (like I do with my black cherry bikini bottoms), there's not a whole lot of point in having it if I don't have a matching (or otherwise complementary) top to wear with it...
[description: fitting room selfie in a sports bra and athletic shorts]
So I hit up the next store, and tried on a couple other things. I wanted to try some athletic clothes - I've been wondering how I would look wearing a sports bra. Obviously, I like the idea of being less covered. Being completely topless would be ideal, but this is a more feminine alternative. Although, with the way I've been going shirtless lately, maybe it's a moot point. But it's still rare to see men in the kind of skimpy shorts that I like to wear (and that tends to raise eyebrows when I'm topless).
[description: topless fitting room selfie in an alternate pair of shorts]
The shorts I tried on with the sports bra were way too big and bulky (it's getting harder to find tight, short athletic shorts - I wonder if that's a symptom of exercise becoming trendy and drawing in a "larger" demographic - though I guess that's ultimately a good thing). I tried on these other shorts which looked cute on the rack - they kind of have the look of a denim short, but they're made out of a very light and soft material. But I only felt so-so about them after I tried them on.
[description: fitting room selfie in a red, white & blue one piece swimsuit with cut-outs]
Finally, I gave this American flag-design monokini a try. Maybe a full one-piece swimsuit would be different, but it's clear to me that this style of garment is not for me. The openings on the sides look very awkward. You're practically wearing a bikini, except there's this strip of fabric over your tummy. Even though I'm a little bit self-conscious about my tummy, I'm much better off just wearing a bikini. Perhaps I should be thankful that I actually have a bikini body (relatively speaking). Still, it was worth a try.
[description: nude fitting room selfie, with erection]
Time to step out of the fitting room, march back through the length of the store, and get in my car and drive home!