Freedom

I don't recall how much I've talked about my experiences on Second Life here. I think I wrote a couple posts about it on my other blog. It's not something I've engaged in, or even really thought about extensively, for a few years now, although I have integrated what I've learned and encountered into my overall supply of life experience (what we do in the virtual world informs and is informed by who we are in the real one). But I did something the other day that made me think about it.

The string bikini is one of my favorite garments. It's a swimsuit, and it's about the skimpiest style you can get away with, without getting into the realm of fetish wear. And I consider the American flag string bikini to be a mandatory piece of clothing in my dream wardrobe. I'm not entirely sure why. I like the fact that it's festive, even though I'm not super-patriotic; and while I have no qualms with the appearance of the American flag, it's not like it's one of my favorite designs in the world.

Maybe it's because I like the idea of dressing up for holidays (the "festive" thing again), but unlike other holidays, the Fourth of July (a.k.a. Independence Day) is a mid-summer holiday, not infrequently accompanied by cookouts and swimming pools, and so you might actually be able to get away with wearing a bikini as your holiday outfit (which wouldn't work so well for, say, Christmas), and, again, not relegating it to behind-closed-doors fetish wear (such as, for example, Santa Claus lingerie).

Regardless of the reason, the American flag string bikini just tickles me pink, and so when I saw it in the store the other day, I had to try it on. Unfortunately, as much as I love string bikinis, I can't really wear them, practically, because I don't have the proper figure. As explained elsewhere, I don't have the breasts to keep the top in place, and the bottoms just aren't adequate for keeping my package contained (especially if I happen to become aroused while wearing it). Nevertheless, I was dying to see how it looked on my body.

[description: fitting room selfie of a man wearing an American flag string bikini]
Living the dream

And that's when I thought of Second Life, because one of the outfits I had collected - and was most excited about - once upon a time, was an American flag bikini (granted, it was a thong, because why not?). And I just found it so interesting to think about the progression from then up to now. Then, I was dressing up a virtual avatar to fulfill my barely-realized transgender fantasies. Now, I'm doing the same thing, but I have the confidence to do it with my very own, real world, body! Obviously, I can't make all the perfect modifications to my real body that are possible in the virtual world, but the important thing is that I'm working with what I've got.

[description: a pretty girl models an American flag thong bikini on Second Life]
My virtual anima, for comparison

Looking back on my Second Life days, it's very apparent to me that it was a stepping stone on my journey as a transgender individual. At the time I started, I wasn't really consciously appropriating the feminine principle into my everyday life, especially including my appearance. At the time, I was, in fact, ignorant of my potential for femininity, and therefore didn't see much point in trying to change the real world expression of my gender. But in the virtual world, I had total carte blanche to construct my identity and appearance however I wanted, and I never had a second thought that if I could choose, I'd be a smoking hot female.

But it wasn't necessarily the cultural stereotype of a "sexy woman" I was going for. In fact, I once had a strip club owner (of the SL, not real world, variety), request I change my appearance to something more conventional - dark, tanned skin, huge breasts, heavy makeup. What I was going for - and what is my opinion of the ideal - was really just the perfected, feminized form of what I already was - a long-legged, pale-skinned, blonde-haired, natural beauty. I was expressing my idea of the perfect form, as it exists deep within me, far below the surface layer. And what's as obvious to me then as it is now, is the fact that that form was an attractive female, and not a rich or powerful male.

I suppose I could tell you lots of stories about Second Life, but they'd need proper prompting. I had to deal with the stereotypes of "men pretending to be women" online. I had cybersex on several occasions, with persons using both male and female avatars (I claim no concrete knowledge of their real life genders, although I'm fairly certain that many of them were men and suspect that at least some of them were female). I learned that some men are content simply to spend time and converse with an attractive woman, without propositioning her for sex - and may even give her gifts for the privilege of her company (which is not so hard for me to understand). I also visited enough nudist beaches to get a feel for the sexual element that is all too happy to take advantage of such places in the absence of supervision. And, I spent some time letting gooey, mutant space tentacles have their rough-and-tumble way with me, while not-so-secretly getting off on it.

But, those are all stories for another time, if they are indeed stories worth telling. The story for today is my transition from virtual gender experimenter to real world explorer. And, specifically, my doing so in a sexy American flag-patterned string bikini. Which - and this is no coincidence - dovetails nicely with the holiday that is just on the horizon - the Fourth of July, a.k.a. Independence Day. I'm not usually very patriotic, but when I am, it's because I support the principles this country was founded on - not necessarily the way it's run today. And though the formation of the United States was indeed a demonstration of independence, it is its reputation for freedom that I particularly like to emphasize. Even here in America, freedom does not come easily, and not without a fight. But so long as I have the freedom to express my gender and my personality as I see fit, I'm going to continue to seize that opportunity, to the extent that I can. So here's to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

[description: a man in an American flag string bikini salutes the camera]

I returned to the store a few days later
to find the bikini marked down a whopping 60%.
So I totally bought it! ^_^

[description: a man in an American flag string bikini poses for the camera]

All hail the Capitalist Empire!