Saw a link to this on reddit today - a list of tumblr posts on the topic of being a woman in modern society - and felt like responding to some of the points being made.
#4. I won't deny that there are issues of sexism in popular music, but I don't know if it's really fair to assume men find insecurity attractive, based on love songs written to women who don't know how beautiful they are. The fact is, I've known a lot of girls who truly were beautiful and didn't realize it. I'm a model now, and I didn't realize how beautiful I was until people (other than my family) started telling me that on a regular basis. As a photographer now, I am amazed by how many beautiful people I encounter who probably don't do any modeling. I wish I knew how to tell them that without coming off like a perv or a creep.
#5. With the understanding that men are perfectly entitled to have opinions about women's clothing, and what they think looks good (and what doesn't), yeah, I kind of have to agree: men's fashion is appalling. Obviously, it's largely subjective, and as a transgender person, I find women's clothing to be infinitely more interesting and appealing than men's clothing, but I honestly think the whole world would benefit if it suddenly became acceptable for men to wear women's fashions.
#10. This. So much this. Absolutely agreed. I have no respect for a man who disrespects women for turning him on. I think it's related to the Madonna/Whore Complex, which is the expression of a very perverse religious perspective. Men possess these biological desires, but are encouraged to shame the women who provoke them. If you're gonna treat a woman like trash because she does something (or wears something) to turn you on, or to otherwise express her sexual agency, then you don't deserve to be with her or even look at her. If you treat your sexual urges as a sin, or a necessary evil, then you shouldn't be allowed to indulge in them.
#12. A lot of these opinions, while containing a kernel of truth, are somewhat hyperbolic. But I guess that's just an expression of frustration. I would wager that it's a bigger deal for women to remove their body hair than men because men actually have these sexual preferences for women, and maybe women don't so much - or at least aren't as vocal about it, which is something I hope will change. But regardless, I agree, I think men and women should be held to the same standards of grooming. And while some people will prefer to keep their body hair (and prefer others who do), my personal belief is that men and women both should shave it off. I think it's disgusting on either sex.
#17. Hate this. Firstly, I like seeing women's bodies - don't know why other people are so bothered by it. Like, "oh my god, looking at your body is making me think about sex, that's so terrible, make it stop!" Really? Or is that even what's going on? Is there something offensive about a woman's body shape, or feminine garments (like bra straps), that thinking about them bothers you? What's wrong with you? Secondly, I'm a nudist - I see people naked. I can handle it. If seeing something does make you think about sex, get over it. If you're so neurotic or sexually frustrated that the slightest thought of something sexual (how do you even watch TV, much less walk to the store?) shorts your circuits, then you have issues, and you need to deal with them. Policing women's fashion is not the solution.
#23. I actually have an interesting perspective on this, that's been developing only recently. Obviously, since I'm a nudist, I don't see what the big deal about any sort of nudity is. People should be allowed to walk around in public naked, the only restriction being that they are considerate of sanitation concerns. So, a woman's breasts don't bother me, any more than her vulva, or a man's penis and testicles. On the other hand, breasts are a very distinctive feature, and one that is also highly sexualized in this culture. So, it kind of sort of makes sense that they must be kept under wraps. I know, it's not really "equal", since men can bare their chests, but it's only because we define sex organs differently for men and women. It's not that I don't support topfreedom, but it doesn't seem to me that much more radical than advocating for public nudity - which I do.
#24. This is a very clever point. Of course, my opinion is that the homophobe ought to just suck it up. In fact, this is a great example for my argument that locker rooms (and restrooms) should be unisex. Why should homosexuals get the privilege of seeing the sex they're attracted to in various states of dress, and maybe even in the shower, when there are all of these unfortunate restrictions in place to keep men and women from seeing each other naked outside of marriage? It's not fair. Hell, I'm a nudist - I shower with people of both sexes regularly. We don't attack each other out of an animal lust - because we know it's not proper behavior, and we're capable of controlling ourselves. I think if we threw men and women together more often, it would quickly become apparent how important it is that we all behave ourselves. Keeping the sexes apart just reinforces - to both women and men - that "men can't control themselves", which is not healthy, instead of raising men with the expectation to behave.
#25. This is actually funny, because I have this problem sometimes, although it happens slightly differently in my case. I have some dresses I wear that I don't sufficiently "fill out", on account of my lack of breasts. So, the way the dress is designed, on one side, instead of my breast sitting in the cup, the fabric tends to hang loosely depending on how I position my body, and somebody looking from the right direction could totally see behind it. My BFF, who is a total perv (which is one of the things I love about her), always delights in getting a peek when that happens, but it makes me very self-conscious about how someone else might react if they saw me. This is actually as good an argument as any for top freedom - if people were less hung up on the taboo of breasts, it wouldn't matter so much if you got a peek of one every now and then. The same argument could apply to women who don't always wear bras - I rarely wear a bra, because frankly I don't need the support, and it's just another tight-fitting garment that I, as a nudist, could do without. I get self-conscious sometimes if, like, my nipples are showing through my shirt or something, but if anybody has a problem with it, I'm pretty much like, "deal with it".
#26. I know there is a whole lot of discussion about this - representation of women in fictional media, especially video games. Frankly (and feminists will eat me alive for saying this, but I don't care), I don't see much of a problem. Maybe there's a lot of male influence going on in what has traditionally been male-dominated fields (and I hope that is changing). Maybe there are some games that are sexist - who would deny that? But I honestly don't have a problem with somebody creating a fictional character with idealized traits, even where that involves impossibly sexy women in improbably revealing battle armor. Yes, we could always use more depictions of women who are not Amazon Goddesses. But I will never criticize a game for creating a female character who is sexually appealing. That's my whole beef about feminism in a nutshell, actually. Men finding women sexually attractive is not a feminist issue.
#27. Very interesting point. I am honestly very curious about how real and how manufactured the differences between the ways that men and women approach sex are. Although I disagree with the part about how men are taught to treat women as objects. Frankly, I think the whole "objectification" thing is overblown, and way too easy a scapegoat for people uncomfortable and afraid of their own sexual feelings. Maybe it's true that women are disproportionately seen as "sex objects". But I think a better solution than attacking male sexuality is to actually legitimize the treatment of men as sex objects too. It happens, already, but the balance isn't quite the equivalent of the females. I'm probably attracted to personality as much as any female. But I'm also very strongly attracted to appearance. The one doesn't negate the other - the ideal mate would be visually stunning and have a great personality. I can appreciate a beautiful model for her looks, even if her personality is lacking. And I can be friends with someone who has a great personality, even if they're not beautiful. I guess it's just a matter of stereotypes, and gendered expectations. You're not gonna succeed in making men care less about looks. But it would be interesting if we could get more women to admit that they think looks are important too. Unless that doesn't reflect the biological reality. In either case, that men are attracted to visual stimuli is not evidence that women are being treated as "sex objects".
