Notwithstanding my experiences in organized nudism - and whatever inroads I was making on that front were stymied by the COVID lockdowns, and then my subsequent dedication to free-range nudism in the great outdoors. Anyway, nudists are pretty allergic to photography, not to mention any emphasis on the inconvenient fact that some bodies are more beautiful than others. Notwithstanding all that, I say, my nearly 18 years of experience shooting nude photography has, disappointingly, not yielded induction into any kind of community of likeminded artists, as I might have hoped.
Don't get me wrong, sharing photos online is fun. I wouldn't still be doing it after all these years if it weren't. But almost without exception, it has the feel of performing for an audience, rather than contributing to a think tank. I'm just producing disposable content for consumers. I'm not networking with other producers of similar content. I'm not sharing tricks of the trade with other tradesmen. The few artists I've followed over the years have either been professionals entirely out of my league (with, therefore, no chance of opening any kind of mutual dialogue), or amateurs I've seen something of myself in, only to sooner or later be rebuffed because I'm too sex-positive.
To be fair, I'm a bit of a loner and a shut-in. I wonder sometimes if that's the reason why I feel so isolated in this society. I tend to push people away. But I'm also an outlier, and I struggle to find other people like me who I feel I can relate to. I think that if I did, I'd be willing to go out on a limb, to step outside of my comfort zone, for that potential gain. In fact, I've proven that that's the case on at least one prominent occasion. Sadly, it ended in failure.
I just don't find people like that very easily. After considering joining a local photography club, I successfully managed to talk myself out of it. Why? Because, come on. They're not gonna be anything like me. They're gonna jump to conclusions, and associate me with a stereotype I don't even relate to. It's why I don't join photography clubs online. There's pornography, which doesn't have the same goals and aesthetics as I do. And then there's fine art, which sees me - in their myopic worldview - as a deviant and a rogue. Plus, there's the trend these days in websites forcing nude artists to PAY for the privileges other artists get to take advantage of for free.
There is no conclusion to this post, because the issue remains unresolved. They say we have freedom. They tell us to pursue the things that make us happy. But I just feel like an outcast and an outlaw. And it feels ridiculous to campaign for an unimportant thing like personal joy or fulfillment, when people's lives are being thrown away in pointless wars, denied their fundamental rights over arbitrary designations they didn't choose at birth, and driven into debt and poverty through no fault of their own, because they can't afford to pay their own health bills - all while the billionaires keep getting richer! If we can't even get these basic things right, then what hope do I have, to ever be able to live in a world where I can celebrate the beauty of the human body openly, without being treated like a scoundrel or a criminal?
