Although my experience isn't gender-normative, and I might pass as female in some instances (I would hope), even being gendered as a non-normative male means I am often subject to a lot of the stereotypes we have in our culture about men. Maybe even more so, falling under the transgender umbrella, as I worry about those simple-minded individuals who think men "dress up" in (as opposed to simply wearing?) women's clothing primarily for perverted sexual reasons.
[description: a man in pigtails poses in pink panties and knee-high socks]
As if no woman has ever sexted from the fitting room...
As if no woman has ever sexted from the fitting room...
I hate to contribute to sexist stereotypes - and it may ultimately prove to be largely due to socialization - but it does seem to me that, generally, men and women behave a little bit differently about sex. Consider the cliché that men think about sex more often, and have more varied sexual appetites, than women on average. But the way I see it, what's unfortunate about how men are treated isn't simply the fact that they're more likely to be assumed to have a sexual motive (e.g., when presenting as female, or hiking nude in the woods), but that, even if the man does have some level of a sexual motive (in whole or in part), it's negatively assumed to take on an antisocial - or, worse, predatory - aspect (exacerbated by the insidious notion that a man aroused becomes an uncivilized animal who can think of nothing beyond attaining satisfaction), instead of it being positively interpreted as him simply experiencing the world from a more erotic perspective, in a way that does not intrinsically make him a menace to society. I do occasionally find a thrill in sexualizing things (especially situations and activities) that maybe aren't normally considered erotic - because adding a sexual context gives you one more aspect through which to enjoy it (and why should we be uptight and suffer a prudish outlook on life?).
It is as if the very fact of a man's sexuality (how dare it exhibit itself outside the bounds of an intimate bedroom encounter!) colors the experience in some negative way. That every sexual thought, feeling, or behavior "unwrapped" by the cover of intimacy (but sometimes even then, too) is inherently threatening (must all of society cater to the fragile psyche of the sexual abuse victim?). That the only acceptable way for a man to handle his dick (even metaphorically speaking) is never to take it out, except within the confines of the secularized version of the marital bed (i.e., a private, committed relationship). Well, I say this attitude is neither humane, nor practical. And it is, to me, the very basis of sex-negativity. Unfortunately, it's also a sensibility I encounter frequently among nudist discussion groups, as well as within feminism - both causes I support, but communities that have too easy a tendency to be antagonistic toward sexuality in general, and the male sex drive in particular.
Once again, I am saddened by the extent to which these feelings may be justified by the behavior of unscrupulous individuals. But I am also saddened not only by the fact that we condemn innocents based on stereotypes and generalizations, but that we condemn the very concept of eroticism, and strip it of its potential to be a healthy and positive force in our lives, on a more widespread level. Because the more we understand and accept our fundamental sexual nature, and develop satisfactory methods of catering to it on a regular basis, the less antisocial dysfunction will be incubated in lieu of a more proper release.
[description: a naked man ejaculates outdoors]
