Tweets For Posterity (Volume 7)

I thought I was out, but they pulled me back in! (lol)

I've actually pivoted away from arguing with nudists on Twitter (mostly), but I went back to using the platform to promote my art (and writing), and lately I've been connecting with other artists in the nude genre, which is pretty cool. In the meantime, I've still been posting snippets of insight and what I would like to think is wisdom, so I want to continue to preserve that here on my blog.

Previous volumes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

A penis pointing toward heaven is a beautiful affirmation of life. It should be a divine symbol, really. What have generations of boorish men done to besmirch this holy appendage, and why do I have to pay for their sins?

If it's true that a picture speaks a thousand words, then your thousand-word essay against the pornification of society can be summarily defeated by the publication of a single erotic image. And I can produce these images faster than you can write your essays.

A man cannot control his erections. But that does not mean he is controlled by them. You can hold a man accountable for his behaviors without condemning the feelings he can't control. Many of us handle those feelings just fine.

Selling nude photography isn't antithetical to #nudism. Some people are so inspired by the human body, that they want to make it their career. These people are MORE #nudist than the weekend campers, not less. If it's anti-nudist to charge for nudity, then explain nudist resorts.

I pity those who cannot look at a naked body and experience - without shame or denial or self-loathing - the natural Beauty and pure joy of Eros that bubbles at the core of human being. It's okay to be sexually stimulated by the human form.

I support nonsexual nudism, but I will block sex-negative accounts. Their erotophobic views are toxic, and their holders are frequently hypocrites. I enjoy nudity for its positive vibes, whether erotic or not. I'm not threatened by the prospect of physical pleasure.

Categorization is an exercise for the academic. An artist must follow his instincts. Whether it's nudism, pornography, or something in between, it makes no difference to me - as long as it reflects the transcendent splendor of the human body.

"Free-range nudism" carries the risk of public indecency, and spoiling textiles against nudity as much as normalizing it, but on the list of common vices, is a little naked mischief really such a horrible way to add spice and adventure to your life?

I get that taste is subjective, and I wouldn't say this about every erotic image I've produced, but there is a beauty to eroticism that I don't think is vulgar, and is worthy of broader admiration (if we didn't live in a sex-negative society). Whether or not it's to your personal taste, nudity and eroticism (both) can be depicted tastefully (whether implicitly or explicitly), and I simply feel that the world is a better place with these images available, than it would be with them kept hidden away. Don't like? Don't look. But don't prevent others from satisfying their curiosity.

I know a nature preserve where swimming and alcohol are explicitly forbidden. People swim there all the time, and it's littered with beer cans. If these people can be so shameless, then why should I be afraid to enjoy the preserve the way nature intends - au naturel?

When meeting others on the trail - in theory, one should act naturally. But one may not always feel safe revealing oneself, and others may consider such an encounter to be upsetting. Laws and cultures vary; the situation is not as straightforward as some would like to believe.

It's no wonder the term "gymnophobia" is more well-established than "gymnophilia" - we can't even agree whether it refers to platonic or erotic love. But what about "gymnophoria" - that giddy feeling of freedom and happiness you get from being unshackled from your clothes?

The world loves to see sex workers jump through an endless series of demeaning hoops, just to prove that yes, we have the capacity to consent and really really want to do this, because in most people's minds, it's the most horrible thing imaginable. Celebrating human sexuality and eroticism through artistic photography, in a process that boosts my confidence and self-esteem, while sharing positive vibes with strangers across the globe, bringing me satisfaction and a sense of charitable purpose is NOT a horrible thing.

I'm not frustrated that I live in a country where people are free to argue against vaccines and wearing masks. That's actually one of this country's strengths. I'm just frustrated that so many people are dumb enough to think these arguments represent sound judgment. Maybe we'd all be safer if we gave up our freedoms to account for those not responsible enough to exercise them. But wouldn't it be great if we were all responsible enough to deserve those freedoms? Still, your freedom to harbor dangerous germs ends at the air I have to breathe.

I miss interacting with people who share my opinions on nudism, but isolating myself from that constant barrage of sex-negativity has done wonders for my mental health. It's exhausting constantly evaluating the erotic content of nudity instead of just letting nudes be nudes.

I'm the first person to say that no movement or community should be above internal review and constructive criticism. It just pisses me off when people waste so much energy arguing with other people that are supposed to be on the same side. Whether it's nudists judging nudists for having a sex life, trans people calling trans rights activists TERFs for using the wrong vocabulary, or sex positive individuals legitimizing the claims of moral conservatives. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

We're force fed a particular narrative about sex work - that it's naive or disadvantaged women selling their bodies to predatory men as a last resort. Without denying that this can happen, the ubiquitousness of this stereotype is problematic at best (from a feminist, sex-positive standpoint), and does a disservice to the colorful variety of people who engage in a colorful variety of sex work for a colorful variety of reasons. It's not fair to tar them all with the same brush.

The disproportionate "sexualization" of female characters isn't necessarily an argument against sexualization. It can actually be an argument for MORE sexualization - of male characters. Which I support. One of the great things about fiction is that you can ignore the practical considerations of reality. Going for realism is one thing, but one of my favorite things about fantasy is the ability to put characters in ridiculously awesome (and sexy) outfits. It's a good thing. And if men are statistically more aroused by visual stimuli than women, leading to a higher visiblity of "sexualized" women in pop culture, I fail to see how recognizing that and indulging it is inherently problematic. If sexualized images of women cause uncivilized men to act inhumanely, the problem isn't sexualized images (that's victim blaming), or what civilized men do with them. The problem is the men who treat women poorly, just because their body parts are showing.

I don't know exactly what everybody means every time they use the term "objectification", but what I think it implies, and what I understand to be the problem, is people treating other people as sexual objects instead of human beings. But here's why I don't like the term. Contrary to dehumanizing stereotypes about men's sexuality, having sexual thoughts or feelings doesn't short-circuit your ability to recognize that what you're attracted to is a person and not an object. After all, most people ARE attracted to people, not objects. But complaints about objectification so frequently focus not on behavior, but appearances. It's not about what men are doing, but what women are wearing. That we blame the men for "putting" women in those outfits, and not the women themselves, doesn't change the fact that we're condemning women's freedom to look sexy for men, and men's freedom to enjoy it when they do, in lieu of teaching men to treat the women who turn them on with respect. Positive sexuality is NOT preventing women from wearing hot pants in public. What the term "objectification" seems to imply is that to have sexual thoughts or feelings about another person is intrinsically dehumanizing. This is the kind of sex-negative view you would expect to hear from radical man-hating "feminazis". Why, then, is it so popular? I believe you can wear a sexy outfit and still be a human being; that you can appreciate another person in a sexy outfit and still recognize their humanity; and that the problem is not women in sexy outfits, it's men thinking it's okay to disrespect women in those outfits.

We place a stigma on "pleasure" that "joy" and "happiness" don't have. It's rooted in religious superstition - that a focus on the flesh is a distraction from the spirit. But why is feeling good bad? In life, we must endure pain; we should be permitted to enjoy pleasure.

Shooting men nude vs. women is different - but not really. If you're creating beautiful art, and an erection occurs, it doesn't arbitrarily become not beautiful, or not art. Showing what men desire may be a cliché, but showing that desire is still taboo in the art world.

I'm obsessed with women's swimwear, jealous of how accepted it is, and frustrated by the assumptions people make when I attempt to wear something similar. I just don't think it's a foregone conclusion that all men look ridiculous in skimpy swimsuits.

Sidestepping the question of why, I shoot nudes because it's a subject that intrigues me more than any other. Nothing fires my inspiration the way nudity does. Nude photography is fun, meaningful, and rewarding. I'm an artist because I like to shoot nudes, and not vice versa.

The "trafficking" scare is as brilliant as it is insidious. By equating sex work with people being kidnapped and raped, how could you possibly argue for it? Which is exactly the point. Make your opponent's position indefensible by any rhetorical means possible.

The bottom line is this: the human body astonishes me. Whether because it is a geometric marvel, or due to sexual conditioning (can't it be both?), is a question for the academic. But does it matter, when the presence of the latter doesn't diminish but enhances that astonishment?

My biggest resentment over the Patreon fiasco isn't having differing opinions of what's fair and just. It's that nobody talked to me like a human being. Even when the other party doesn't agree, people have a psychological need to feel like their side of the story is being heard. But what's worse than insincerity is the hollow illusion of sincerity. I honestly would've been less insulted if I'd been contacted by Compliance Bot, and simply told to fall in line or face deletion, without hope of appeal (because there is no appeal - that's just an illusion). But instead, they give their compliance bots names like "Ariel", put them on a team called "Trust & Safety", and teach them to speak in platitudes, wishing you "all the best" as they rip your guts out. This is exactly what George Orwell warned us against, people.

I'm struggling to remain relevant as the internet continues to evolve. But photography is about freezing moments in time, which I feel is contrary to social media's emphasis on endless streams of content. Fine art is created to be studied, not consumed.

Hypocrisy is another look I don't like for nudism, which should stand for truth and transparency. Yet nudists will argue left and right that nudity is 100% natural, then turn around and act like sex was invented by the devil. So unappealingly old testament. I'm also baffled by how narrow people's open-mindedness can be. You're in a small minority of people who have penetrated the taboo surrounding nudity, and yet you lack the imagination to see how a more positive attitude towards sex could improve society?

You can sexualize an outfit. You can sexualize an object. You can sexualize an action, or a comment. Because these things are all up to interpretation. But you cannot sexualize a person, because humans are already fundamentally sexual beings. And that's all natural, baby.

If your only context for sex-positivity is "letting perverts get away with creepy behavior", then you're engaging in confirmation bias, and you need to confront your hang-ups about sex. Sexual anarchy isn't the only alternative to shame and repression.

The idea that women's bodies are objectively more appealing than men's is toxic garbage (especially coming from a straight male). And I used to believe it, too. The male gaze just places more pressure on women to look good. But this is an obstacle that can be overcome.

I was thinking about what sex-positive nudist advocacy should look like, and the truth is, it isn't any different from regular nudist advocacy. You don't need to add any kind of sexual element. You just have to refrain from making those statements that are blatantly sex-negative.

I don't think tastefully erotic images should be treated as porn. They're artistic, and beautiful. If something is so broken in your mind that these images disturb you, then you should seek therapy before I'm ever censored or ostracized for sharing them. #therapynotcensorship

Kinsey discovered about 75 years ago that sexuality is on a spectrum. Fight me if you want, but I think everyone is at least 1% bisexual. It's okay to have strong preferences (I have them, too), but sexuality is fluid, stimulation is stimulation, and labels can be cloistering.

I get that exhibitionism can be confusing. Standing naked in doors and windows excites me, yet I don't actually want to disturb or alarm anyone. I just wish people would talk to exhibitionists before forming opinions about them, and not judge us all by the behaviors of some.

I feel tremendous pressure to conform to gender stereotypes (whether male or female) when using a public restroom, and as a gender fluid individual, this causes me great distress. Where are the queer-friendly facilities for unconventionals who just need to do their business?

I pity those who are incapable of seeing sexual expression as anything other than exploitation, like looking at the sun and seeing only the destructive power of its fire, and not the light and warmth that gives life to this planet. But I pity them only to a point, because their repressive views are stifling, and commit harm under the hypocritical banner of concern. Like snuffing out the sun, and dooming all life to wither and die, while calling yourself a savior.

"Sexualization" is a complaint that arises from a discrepancy of intent versus interpretation. The implication is that one can help what one finds sexy, when the real issue is a matter of decorum: how one reacts to such thoughts given what is appropriate in that context.

I like to apply an intellectual approach to the academically overlooked subject of human sexuality, and I feel like that puts me in a unique position to provide poignant insights, yet I often feel like I get treated as the dork who brings a text book to an orgy.

What I bring to the art I create is an acknowledgement and celebration of the psychological impact of the human form, aesthetically and erotically. I endeavor to manufacture, in isolation, instants of beauty like we sometimes encounter in life, but are not nearly common enough.

I feel like wider acceptance of queer identities is at least partly due to more exposure to real queer people, as opposed to the fear-driven stereotypes we'd previously been fed. Turns out queer people are really cool, if you take the time to actually get to know them.

As a nudist, another thing I like to do is capture images of everyday activities, performed in the nude. Opinions vary on the validity of photographing a lifestyle that decries voyeurism, but I'm not here to judge. I just like to create images that I personally find interesting.

Taking a peek at r/nudism, my stance on exhibitionism as it relates to nudism is simply this. I want there to be a middle ground between condemning public sex on a nude beach, and treating wearing swim briefs on textile beaches as detrimental to the nudist cause. I just think nudists can be so frustratingly uptight, puritanical, judgmental, and dogmatic sometimes. You can be a nudist and still enjoy the human experience of physical attraction, without it being an excuse to engage in sexually explicit behaviors in public!

As an artist locked into a lifelong battle with censorship, I'm not just frustrated, but actually offended that "free speech" ever became a rallying cry for conservatives. Free speech is for standing up and asserting radically progressive notions that threaten the dominant power structure, like "my body, my choice", "black lives matter", "love is love", "transwomen are women", and "sex work is work".

Nudism can be very dogmatic, and I think we should normalize it being okay to have beliefs that go against the grain, without it putting your nudist cred in jeopardy. Nudists are individuals, not a hive mind, but sometimes they sound like fanatics chanting in unison. Ex: this notion that everybody is beautiful and skin is an outfit that always fits. Not to be rude, but I don't actually believe that. It's a utopian ideal, and I recognize its rhetorical purpose, but I don't like clinging to desperate illusions. Did I mention I'm an atheist?

I'm a purist who thinks mermaids should always be topless, and fairies and elves should be naked. Typical human projection, to assume other species would have the same hangups about our bodies we do, when in reality, we're the only species on the planet that wears clothes.

It's a confusing experience, being called an exhibitionist by nudists, then browsing public sex and literal pornography pictures that are labeled as "nudism" and finding that I agree with the nudists' opinion that this is outrageous. But that's why we need a middle ground. For the record, I support these kinds of pictures, but I would never label them as "nudist". THAT's the part that I find offensive. But I also recognize a sort of fantasy being depicted - an alternate reality where nudism is hot naked people having sex in front of each other. It's kind of like how pornography sexualizes delivery persons, except I acknowledge that nudism has more to lose from this misrepresentation. I THINK IT'S OKAY TO CRITICIZE THIS USAGE of the label "nudism", but that doesn't justify a widespread regime of shame and judgment.

The truth is, I like pornography. But my heart's not in it. My heart's in producing art. I just want to be able to make art without arbitrary limits on eroticism. But society is telling me, if you want to create erotic art, then we're not gonna let you be an artist. You have to do pornography. Because of the stigma. So maybe spreading my legs is just what I have to do to fund my art. But don't pretend that it's not the prudes who are actively driving people INTO sex work with their shame and judgment.

It's horrifying, sometimes, watching old movie stereotypes of queer people. Humans are amazingly bad at contextualizing what they don't understand. Like, a guy dressed up as a woman? He must literally be a homicidal maniac who wasn't even loved by his own mother...

To be fair, it's rarely appropriate to ask a woman to take her clothes off. But it takes a special kind of creep to consider how a woman is dressed (or not), and demand that she "put some clothes on". I will never understand or respect that mentality.

I, too, like looking at naked women more than men. But in my journey as an artist, I've learned to appreciate the male form, too. I like when artists talk about nude art in a way that doesn't distinguish sex, especially when they're conscious of not being reduced to porn. Like, I get that our attractions often give form to the beauty we perceive in the human body. "We artists cannot tread the path of Beauty without Eros appointing himself as our guide." It's just that, one sex does not have an objectively more artistic form than the other. I also get that modeling is one of the few fields dominated by women. I have no desire to take that away. But as someone who was not born a woman, I do feel marginalized. All I want is to be acknowledged in a way that doesn't make me feel like my anatomy is a handicap. Like, "men are beautiful, too, but women are just perfect, luminous beings" isn't helping, y'all.

I have an issue with the term "desexualize" especially when used in the context of nudity. I think it confuses more than it clarifies. I agree that NOT "all nudity is sexual", but I do not believe that all "sexualized" nudity is bad. If you were to create a Venn diagram, there would be an intersection between the circles for nudity and sexuality. They are two separate concepts that can exist independently. But sometimes they overlap, and that's okay. It's a good thing, even.

I've been an artist for well over a decade, and I've never gotten over the feeling of emptiness you get after releasing a piece of art to the world. If you're lucky, you get a handful of likes and comments, which is always great. But then what? It just fades into obscurity? I'm not saying the creation of the art work isn't gratifying in and of itself. That's why I'm still doing this all these years later, even though it doesn't pay the bills. But I feel like art deserves a life beyond that initial share, and I don't know how to give it that. It feels narcissistic to say, "I want people to talk about my art." But my art is my voice. It's a form of self-expression. I WANT it to start conversations. You don't share yourself on social media without wanting attention, even if sometimes you're scared of getting it.

"Every Body Is Beautiful" - this is one of those cult-like things nudists often say. Maybe some of them even believe it. But it's okay to think some bodies are more beautiful than others, as long as you treat people with respect REGARDLESS of what they look like. THAT is what nudism is about.

I know I have the excuse of creating art, but let's be honest. Playing in the woods is fun. Climbing trees, splashing in streams. And doing it naked is just that much MORE fun. Am I wrong? And also, have you tried it?

The problem I have with most porn isn't that it's sexually explicit. I don't mind seeing genitalia or witnessing sex acts. The problem is that it's so inartfully expressed. I've seen snapshots of people's dinner plates that make the food look gross because of presentation. I don't care if you have a dildo sticking out of your ass. If you're a person artists would want to take pictures of anyway, and you light that scene and frame that composition, you're good. It's not the subject that's unappealing, it's how it's being presented.

I think a well-rounded individual should seek to expand their range of experiences for a more balanced perspective on life. Being trans gives you unique insights into the ways we socialize gender, by seeing from both sides of the aisle. A lot of things we take for granted as oppressed minorities can be generalized to human nature, and sometimes even applied to what those minorities deem the oppressors. Women are undoubtedly disadvantaged in our society, but men are victims of sexism, too. Conservatives complain that their views are being censored, and it's easy to want to call that out as bullshit, but the truth is, shadow banning is a weapon social media platforms wield without reservation. I'm subject to it as a progressive artist. Going from nudism to the art community, I find it interesting the paradigm shift between demographics of people who are comfortable nude. In nudism, it's the men who always want to get naked and share pictures, and complain that their wives and girlfriends won't join them. But in the art world, you see almost nothing but naked women. To the point that artists sometimes lament the imbalance, and encourage more men, who are statistically more likely to be behind the camera, to get more comfortable being in front of it. I came to art via an uncommon path. I always wanted to shoot women, but I never had any to shoot. So here I am, more visibly in the role of model than photographer (although I do both). And I see the difference. Women get the attention. The likes, the shares, the comments. If you really want to see more men getting comfortable in front of the camera, then you need to start giving attention to the ones who already are. But I don't hold any delusions that naked men will ever be as popular as naked women are. At least, not as long as men hold most of the power in society. Because men may like to get naked, but they'd rather look at naked women. I don't know if women are as interested in seeing naked men, but if they are, it wouldn't be hard for them to find volunteers. And yeah, I know, gay men are a demographic interested in looking at naked men, too. I'm not discounting them, but even if we include the openly bisexual population, they're still a minority and will never balance whatever demand the straight majority has.

Human beings are a social species. They have a tendency to adopt the beliefs of their tribe in order to promote a sense of belonging. As an asocial loner, I have been insulated from this impulse, and that has given me the gift of independent thought.

The world would not fall apart if tomorrow we decided to stop arbitrarily and superstitiously crushing people's spirits for daring to pursue the business of giving people orgasms. And if religion is in any way responsible for this sordid state of affairs, then God should be dragged from the Heavens to stand trial for this atrocity of inhumanity.

Mainstream politics is becoming more radicalized these days. The left is promoting radical tolerance, while the right is promoting radical hate. I'd prefer to stay nonpartisan, but one of these is not like the other. By the way, the difference between ACAB and religious bigotry is conservatives engaging in racially-motivated homocide without consequence versus conservatives denying health care to people who need it. There's a common enemy in both of those circumstances.

I never miss an opportunity to get naked in nature. And no matter how many times I try, I can never adequately describe how it feels. You just have to do it! Wish there wasn't so much stigma surrounding the human body. Putting my clothes back on is always the worst part.

Lizard brain: sees naked body, thinks it's time for sex. Monkey brain: sees naked body, realizes it's just a person in their natural state, and that it's no more time for sex than if you came across somebody clothed. I get the confusion, but let's try not to be lizard brains, ok?

Even as experienced a nudist as I am, the first time back to social nudism after a pandemic-driven hiatus, it struck me how weird it was to be in a place where people are randomly naked. Yet, as always, in very little time, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. We need to accept that, despite the irony of how natural it is, nudism presents a significant barrier of entry to a textile-minded public. If only more people were open to trying it, in order to get over that hump. Nudism is an activity that sounds crazy, but feels natural.

Structure

I experience a drive to create. I love to get outdoors and be active. And when I'm surrounded by nature, I have the urge to get naked. And when I'm naked in nature, I feel compelled to create art. It's something I enjoy doing very much, and it keeps me physically fit.

Few activities are as grueling as the repeated burst of energy expended from sprinting back and forth from camera to pose while the timer counts down each time. Especially in situations where there is the added suspense of being caught with my pants down, so to speak, while I'm focused on making art.

That said, I enjoy taking pictures (as a model as much as a photographer) more than I enjoy sitting in front of my computer editing them. It's a necessary evil, and though there is an excitement in sifting through the dirt in search of gold - those pictures that really stand out and make me proud to show off - I do feel in the back of my mind that it is a cost (and a limitation) that comes with every image and video I create in the field.

I felt some pressure constantly producing content for my now-defunct Patreon account, with the fear in the back of my mind that if I hit a dry spell, my subscribers would rebel against me. I'll admit that being freed from that pressure is somewhat of a relief. But at the same time, I had the most consistent workflow during that period, and my photography was the most organized it's ever been. Even if I was working through a backlog, I still had everything in order, and that just meant I had a buffer of content in case production dropped off temporarily for any reason.

That organization is one of the things I miss most. Not having that structure for releasing content, stressful though it sometimes was, is taking its toll, as I continue to produce content that languishes in folders unfinished and unshared, and builds up, compounding the problem over time. I want that structure back, but I have yet to find an adequate replacement.

#30 Days of Pride (A Retrospective)

This year, in response to the troubling news I've been hearing out of the south, I decided to spend the month of June celebrating trans pride, and expressing my own gender non-conforming identity, by posting my thoughts and opinions on subjects related to gender daily on Twitter, accompanied by self-portrait images I've taken over the years. For the sake of posterity (once again), and because it's probably easier to read them together as a blog post than separate, scattered tweets, I'm copying them here.

#30daysofpride

As much as I love being naked, I also have a passion for fashion. It's a way for me to express my feminine identity, and demonstrate that cross-dressing is a fashion statement, not a punchline. That's why every day this June, I'll be sharing my transgender pride.

Cross-dressing is a fashion statement, not a punchline. I hate that our culture teaches budding transgender individuals that the best "a man in women's clothes" can look is either hilarious or repulsive. It's time to flip the script.

I've had women tell me I look better wearing the clothes they've given me than they did! I may not have curves in the same places, but we all fit clothes differently. There's nothing stopping either sex from dressing feminine and looking good - unironically.

In truth, I have mixed feelings about the term "cross-dressing", because it makes it sound like a costume I'm putting on, or something I only do on the weekends, or in the bedroom. This is my day-to-day wardrobe. These aren't women's clothes, they're MY clothes.

On the other hand, I don't fit the conventional stereotype of being "born in the wrong body". But transgender is an umbrella. Not only are we all on different parts of our journey, some of us are on different journeys altogether. We can still support one another.

Honestly, I started growing my hair out as a teenager due to laziness. I kept it long because I was into the music scene from the '60s and '70s and it jibed with the fashion from that era. Later, it became an asset when I started experimenting with gender.

I struggle with the terms gay and straight because in my mind, sex and gender are perpendicular axes that are conflated merely because they happen to align in a majority of cases. I enjoy heterosex, but "straight male" doesn't begin to convey my unconventionality.

I call these my ruby slippers. I love getting a new pair of shoes, but I think the obsession is more about the role of coordination and variation in women's fashion. When I dressed like a guy, all I ever wore was jeans and tennis shoes and a different t-shirt.

From certain angles, I look feminine even naked. From the start, I've always tried to imitate female models in my photography. Over the years, I've had lots of NUDE self-portraits invited to galleries that exclusively feature women. It tickles me pink every time.

For gender-conforming individuals (whether cis or trans), the bathroom debate is moot. It's the unconventional non-binary and genderfluid folk who are most affected. I don't enjoy having an identity crisis every time I need to use a public restroom.

I like dressing up. I have two closets, and one of them is filled with formal dresses. But I never have an excuse to wear them. I wore a tuxedo to my senior prom, but I wish I could go back and do it again. I would wear the most dazzling dress.

The first piece of women's clothing I ever wore was my girlfriend's panties in high school (yes, I asked first). Women's clothing IS sexualized - and it's sexy. But that doesn't mean you can reduce a cross-dresser's interest in fashion to a sexual fetish.

I don't know why people conflate gender presentation with sexual orientation, unless it's just holdover gay stereotypes. I've adopted a feminine persona not to attract men (although it does), but because I like girls SO much, I want to BE one.

Bikinis are my favorite clothes. I envy girls' ability to wear them, and the double standard against guys who wear skimpy swimsuits. Bikinis can look good on me, but for swimming, the top never stays in place, and the bottom leaves nothing to the imagination.

I hesitated the first time I shaved my legs, because I thought they would still be too masculine. But I was wrong. I've never regretted it, and I've never gone back in twelve years. There are small things you can do that go a long way in communicating gender.

I don't relate to the term "androgynous". In my head, it means an inscrutable blend of characteristics, or a juxtaposition of extremes. I can't avoid having some masculine features, but my compass is strongly oriented towards the feminine.

My perspective may be a little skewed, but my definition of "femininity" doesn't depend on anatomy. Long, curly hair and pink, frilly panties looks girly to me. It doesn't matter that I don't have breasts, or that there's a bulge in my panties. Sex =/= gender.

Ballet, cheer, gymnastics - these are stereotypically feminine activities. But while men do perform them, their costumes and roles are different. Were I to participate, I wouldn't want to be a "ballerino", I'd want to wear a pink tutu and be one of the girls!

I don't want to abolish gender, I just want to make it optional. Associating girls with pink sparkles is fine, so long as you're not forced to be a "girl" (or barred from it) based on your anatomy. It's about choice. Gender is in your brain, not your genitals.

I think "gender reveal" parties are stupid and transphobic. It's impossible to tell whether a baby is a boy or a girl until they've grown up enough to decide for themselves. I'm not talking about their anatomical sex, I'm talking about their GENDER.

Sundresses and flip flops, short shorts and crop tops, bikinis and photo ops. Summer is my favorite season for fashion. In my opinion, the best clothes are the ones that show off the body (the skimpier the better!), not the ones that cover it up.

Pronouns don't define me. They're just a tool. I mainly use masculine ones, because it's what I grew up with; it's what's most familiar. And I don't want to be accused of "appropriating". But it really depends on how I'm presenting on any given day.

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Can't tell you how many times a guy has expressed interest in me, knowing that I have male anatomy, while identifying himself as straight. I think some people are just more attracted to gender than sex.

Some men are so terrified of their own anatomy, they think the "trans agenda" is designed to trick them into dating a girl with a penis. It's not. You can acknowledge the reality of anatomical sex without that automatically making you "gender critical".

I believe that transwomen are women. But there are different kinds of women, and a person who grows up with a penis isn't going to have the same life experiences as a person who grows up with a vagina. That doesn't make them "less", it just makes them different.

Not wanting to have sex with a woman who has a penis doesn't make you transphobic - it's using your insecurities to deny and harm trans people that makes you transphobic. People deserve dignity and liberty independent of whether you would have sex with them.

I can't get past the double standard by which you'll see women dress in men's clothes and it's become so common and accepted that it's not even called "cross-dressing". But the instant a man puts on a skirt or heels, he's like an alien from another planet.

People complain about the "sexualization" of women's Halloween costumes. Sexy costumes aren't the problem - a lot of people like them. The issue is the expectation tied to gender. But there's nothing stopping women from shopping in the men's department.

Sometimes it feels like the truest girls anymore are the trans-girls. I see so many GGs disavowing feminine stereotypes. Which, more power to them, but I LIKE the female gender. TGs are better at slaying femininity because they know what boys like.

Sometimes I wonder how much of progress is bright minds uncovering the staggering complexity of life, obstructed by the frustration/resentment of the rest of the population too dumb to wrap their minds around why their oversimplified approximations are inadequate.

Things Nudists Say That Make Me Groan

(I should turn this into a series)

"I don't even own a swimsuit."

Look, I understand the feeling of frustration that comes from being in a situation where you're forced to wear clothes when you'd rather be nude. Believe me, I get that feeling a lot (the most recent time being today). Mostly at home, when I feel like I should have the right to be comfortable. And outdoors, when I'm surrounded by nature. But I don't hate clothing. I actually appreciate and enjoy fashion. I'm just still more comfortable naked.

And I get it. Recreational swimming is among those activities where clothing is the most unnecessary - and a nuisance. I prefer swimming naked. But the worst part isn't even the swimming, it's after. Nothing dries faster than skin. It amazes me the way textiles force themselves to linger in wet clothing (even swimsuits take time to dry, especially while still being worn), not even comfortable enough to sit naked beneath a towel for fifteen minutes before changing into dry clothes. They might even put their dry clothes on over top of their wet swimsuits! It's insane. And, in my opinion, torture.

But that's being in wet clothes outside of the water. Now, if I had to wear normal clothes in the water - like the historical, full-bodied "bathing costume" - yeah, I'd be outraged, too. Hell, if I even had to wear what constitutes a typical men's swimsuit in this country - those bulky, knee-length board shorts - I might even become one of those insufferable nudists who refuses to swim in/own a swimsuit. But there are other options. Women have it better than men, with their skimpy, skin-tight bikinis, and Europeans have it better than Americans, with briefs being accepted (even expected) swimming attire for men.

I wear swim briefs, too, whenever I can get away with it. This works best at natural watering holes where rules are lax and people may be more spread out, as opposed to pools that charge for entry and post up all sorts of guidelines. But even when I go to a pool that has an explicit "no Speedos" policy (yeah, this exists), I have a pair of swim shorts that's about as skimpy as you can get while still appearing as "shorts" and not a brief. It was hard to find, and expensive, and I still don't like it as much as my swim briefs. But it's a pretty satisfactory compromise.

Ideal scenario? I like to visit the lake, by myself (or in tolerant company), so I can swim nude. But here's the catch. Most nudists don't live in isolated nudist paradises. Even if we visit them from time to time, we still live largely in the textile world. We also have textile friends and family. For a nudist to say "I don't own a swimsuit", they're really saying one of two things (assuming they're not averse to swimming). Either they're an isolated loner, with no friends or family who have ever requested their company on a summer trip to the pool. Or they're the type of insufferable nudist that is so adamant about their nudism, that they would rather stay home alone (or go off on their own), while the people who love them are out having fun together - without them.

So, as a nudist, I get the frustration with having to wear clothes. But for all that nudists say how utterly pointless swimsuits are, they are actually my number one favorite form of clothing, and the one I least resent having to wear. Why? Not only because it's the closest I can get to being naked around people outside of the nudist lifestyle (so, like, the best compromise between being undressed but still hanging out with your non-nudist friends and family), but because it's the closest textiles come to social nude recreation without even realizing it. And seeing those people - textiles - behaving almost as nudists do, lounging and recreating with the bare minimum of their bodies covered, and not even making a fuss of it (for the most part), is great! Is there some hypocrisy involved that could be frustrating for a nudist to dwell on? Sure. But we don't live in a perfect world, and I think it's a pretty great compromise.

At the end of the day, I'd rather swim in good company with 5% of my body covered, than exclude myself from the people I love in order to expose that last 5%. But here's the most important factor: I can do both. I can take all the opportunities I find (and believe me, I do) to go skinny dipping alone or with the few people I know who get nudism, and STILL go out with the family to the pool on the weekend and have fun in the sun. It's the best of both worlds. But I couldn't do that if I didn't own a swimsuit.