So, I was driving down the street and I saw a message painted on the side of a building that read, "we rise up by lifting others." And my immediate thought was, "no, lifting others just leaves us mired in the dirt." And then I thought, "wow, that was dark. If somebody heard me say that, they'd criticize me for being so negative." But then I thought, "well, why shouldn't I react that way? My feelings are legitimate." It seems to me that some people are so disgustingly optimistic, constantly spouting positive aphorisms, that it just rings hollow, like they're trying to convince themselves of something - and the fact of the effort belies a different reality that they're trying to avoid.
What if "the power of positive thinking" was a lie? What if some people's minds are just oriented towards positivity and others aren't? And what if that's okay? I've been told my whole life to "stop wallowing", but that's just how my mind works. "Just think positive" sounds an awful lot like trying to will yourself out of depression. And the truth is, I might have a lot to complain about (honestly, who doesn't?), but I'm not entirely unhappy. In fact, I consider myself to be a hopeless idealist in spite of my cynicism. I just prefer to focus on the obstacles in my path, and think about what's missing instead of being content with what's already there (that's why I'm a progressive and not a conservative). And I don't like to lie to myself or others about the challenges we face.
As an atheist, I like to express criticism of God, in response to the state of the world. And religious people love to suggest that my experience of suffering is a symptom of my lack of faith. As if going to church would cure my anxiety, or make me rich and popular (Satanism, though...). But what if people turn away from God because God has failed them, and not vice versa? Some people do seem to be blessed, and they think that their success is a reward for their faith in God. So when they see somebody suffering who doesn't believe in God, they think, "if they would only trust in God, they would be successful, too." But it doesn't work that way. Faith didn't make them happy. That's putting the cart before the horse. They're able to have faith because they got lucky in life.
I like to listen to blues music and watch horror movies because I'm drawn to the darker aspects of human experience. It's not like I started indulging in this kind of entertainment and then started feeling depressed. It actually makes me feel better. Because I can relate to it. Commiseration is a healing process. I could force myself to listen to bubble gum pop and watch goofy comedies all day long, but it would just bore me to tears. Don't take away my cynicism. It comforts me. Perhaps the same way your positive thinking comforts you. We all have our own coping strategies.
And I'm not saying that positive thinking can't be beneficial, or that excessive negativity isn't unhealthy. A good balance would be ideal. But there can be such a thing as too much positivity, just as negativity can serve a valuable function. The key, in my opinion - whether you're positivity-inclined or negativity-inclined - is to try to stay grounded in reality, and not take either one too far. But if you gravitate more towards one or the other - even if it's negativity - that's fine. It's part of who you are.
Also, like, you have to play the hand you're dealt. And yeah, you ought to make the most of it, but if you're dealt a shitty hand, you should be allowed to complain about it. People that are dealt a good hand (even if we're just talking about the psychological capacity to be cheerful, separate from race, sex, class, etc.) have good reason to be happy. And so they should be. But it's cruel to expect somebody who was dealt a bad hand to not only have to play that hand, but pretend that they like it. Happy people are happy because they're privileged, not because they choose to be happy. It's pretty offensive to suggest that somebody who's unhappy is unhappy by choice, or by the result of their own undoing.
