I sometimes wonder whether I'm a better photographer or a better model. As an artist, I strive to be good at both. It was photography - and not modeling - that got me started. I discovered I was an exhibitionist along the way, but the reason I started taking pictures was because I had an appreciation not for being naked on camera, but for seeing others naked on camera. I had envisioned shooting other models, but I've never had the people skills to make that happen. So instead of just practice, self-portraiture eventually became my everything.
When people appreciate my work, I sense that they view me centrally as an attractive model. But I view the value of what I do a little more broadly than that. I AM an attractive model, and no doubt that's important. But there are a lot of attractive people who don't share themselves with the world like I do. But it's not just willingness, it's the interest and the appreciation that all mixes together to create the intention and the opportunity where I recognize that erotic nude art is valuable and desirable, I have practiced it for years to improve my craft, and I am here to spend time and effort to create it and share it with others.
It's good that I am attractive, and I never would have gotten anywhere if I hadn't had the opportunity to be a successful self-portrait artist, but I feel like my fans are totally caught up in their attraction to me specifically, that all they must think about coming from me in the future is more sexy pictures of me, because I've rarely heard anyone make any comment to the effect of, "boy, I would love to see you apply your camera to other models".
And it's not like I get a lot of attention (that I am aware of) from people who see my art, and may not specifically be attracted to me, but see the value in what I'm doing and what it could do for other models. I've always wanted to create art that doesn't eschew but transcends the erotic value of "a sexy picture", so that it is still sexy but also artistic beyond that in a way that a person can recognize without being specifically attracted to the model featured.
I don't want to disparage in any way the fans that have carried me along, without which I wouldn't be where I am today, joining me with enthusiasm in an activity that I genuinely love. I just want to be more than someone people follow because they think I'm hot (or even that I'm hot and a good artist, but only follow to the extent that they get to continue to view good art that showcases my hotness). I'd like to believe that in my 10+ years of doing this, I am something more than your average 18 year old hottie casually sexting selfies online (who are, nevertheless, a lot more popular than I am).
If I had the opportunity to shoot another model (not just a fellow pervert who thinks having me take pictures of them naked sounds thrilling), I don't know if I could even do it, but that's not the point. I want people to recognize the value of my skills as they could be applied to other models besides myself. Imagine the kinds of pictures I could take of that 18 year old hottie! (But I guess there's no shortage of people willing to fill that role; that's why so much porn is trash). With the combination of my artistic eye and perverted mind, unhindered by the many limitations of self-portrait photography. I don't want to be the only person that imagines these things.
For I am not just the subject of my photography, I am also its author. When you see a picture of me, you see me primarily as the model - the attractive figure central to the work. What you can't usually see, and is easy to acknowledge but harder to keep at the forefront of your mind, is that I am also the architect of that image. The image exists not just because my body looks good, but because my mind conceived of that image, determined that its existence would have value, and put forth both the physical and mental effort to create it from pure imagination. Given the opportunity (and a willing subject), I could do that with any body that looks good - not just my own.
