I don't know why, but I just felt like there was a certain amount of "humanity" emanating from this image. It's not trying too hard to be anything (and indeed, it was taken in a pretty impromptu fashion), and it kind of speaks of the sexual needs of the average human organism, which in our sophisticated, complex world, can't always find a social outlet.
[description: candid portrait of a nude man sitting on a couch, erection in hand]
Truth be told, I was sitting on the couch watching - not porn, actually - but an ecchi anime series. "Ecchi" is Japanese for "erotic" (or something similar, depending on your translation), and a series of the ecchi variety - as opposed to hentai, which is basically porn - leans more in the softcore direction, with a lot of "fanservice" and sexual suggestion, without going too far.
A situation like that, or like when I'm often browsing pics on the net, or even not infrequently when engaged in sexual contacts with another, needn't proceed to an orgasm for me to enjoy it. I rarely experience goal-oriented arousal (i.e., "I need to get off"), which has the peculiar effect of leaving me with an ostensibly low sex drive.
At the same time, I'm a highly sensual being, and I enjoy being in a state of arousal. I also enjoy thinking about sex an awful lot, although it might be worthwhile to mention that when I do think about sex, I'm not so often imagining intercourse or, again, goal-oriented sexual contacts, so much as I like admiring the aesthetic/erotic appeal of girls' bodies, or particular erotic situations, or, quite frequently, simply thinking about the psychological aspects of human sexuality, as in the kinds of things I write about here on this blog.
Which is not to say that I'm always constantly aroused when I engage in all of these activities, but erections may come and go, like the wind, and I appreciate the sensations they give me when they are present, but without any expectation of them leading anywhere, or even, sometimes, consciously "encouraging" them. As such, I find my own sexuality a little hard to pin down in terms of conventional stereotypes.
Not that I have any desire to do so, but it leaves me a little confused, sometimes, as to where I fit in to the great, diverse picture of human sexuality profiles. Particularly considering my gender "experimentation". It's actually kind of curious, because though I feel determined to label various aspects of my behavior, appearance, and personality as either male or female, it seems as though my sexuality (among other things) could go either way depending on your perspective.
Certainly, in terms of the gender wars, and where feminism frequently comes into play, I typically (maybe too hastily) identify myself, by default, as having a male pattern of sexual desire, largely on account of the fact that I am attracted to the female sex, and that I have strong reactions to visual (some would say superficial) stimuli.
On the other hand, my actual desire for intercourse, even when regularly available to me (or orgasm by other means, in other situations), seems to follow more of what would be considered the average female pattern. It is not unusual for a male to masturbate regularly - even daily - in the absence of a regular source of intercourse, and I have indeed encountered this among male communities, at least on the internet.
Meanwhile, I could easily (and regularly do, when left to my own devices) go for weeks without feeling any strong desire to stimulate myself to orgasm, which seems more in accord with the female pattern. Then again, those periods might include regular instances of arousal and stimulation, though some of which are very brief and happenstance, and none of which may necessarily accompany a desire to go "all the way".
Plus, if you add porn in to the mix, though I share the "visual" approach that is usually associated with the male pattern of desire, I find myself frequently repulsed by a lot of the hardcore stuff that is so popular and ubiquitous in certain corners of the internet. Maybe it's my artistic sensibilities, or maybe it's my less aggressively masculine and more romantic approach to eros, as opposed to an all-out celebration of penis-in-vagina intercourse and all the icky smells and touches and fluids that come with it...
One thing's for sure, I'm not a typical case. Although I'd love for us to abandon the notion that any case is typical, and just look at different patterns as individual expressions of a diverse - and spectacular - population.
