I saw this one young couple at the park that was very affectionate with one another. The girl was kind of a wild child, with streaks of bright color in her hair. She was tall, and thin, and dressed to flatter her body. The guy was an odd match for her, slightly plump, unremarkably dressed. But I saw them kissing and touching one another playfully, the way that only intimate couples seem to do.
The girl was wearing a really short jean skirt and these cute brown boots. The two of them were making out on the playground equipment, oblivious to pretty much everything around them. At one point, I saw the girl standing in such a way, that I imagined for a brief second how it would look if she pulled up her skirt and let the guy give her cunnilingus.
Of course that wasn't the case, but the thought passed through my head, and the next thing I considered was how it would never happen - at least not out in the open in broad daylight. But then I started to wonder, why not? I mean, there are obviously laws against that sort of thing, but hypothetically speaking.
Let's get past the whole "people think sex is a sin, and public sex in particular is disgusting" bit, which is a cheap objection. What would be the harm in a guy giving a girl affectionate cunnilingus in the park? They weren't soliciting strangers, and there wasn't enough activity on the playground for them to be getting in the way of anybody. So what would happen if they were allowed to go about their business?
The first thing that comes to my mind is, if a hot young girl is letting some guy pleasure her orally in the park, then a lot of other guys are going to get jealous. Now I would hope that most of them would behave and leave it at that, but I can't help imagining that some guys with a lot of confidence and arrogance and, let's admit it, stupidity, would think that because this girl is getting intimate in public, they're somehow entitled to get in on the action, too.
These would be the same type of people who think that if a girl wears a short skirt, she's game for sexual harassment. Just imagine their thought process when the girl is not only dressed like a slut, but is actually having sex in public. "No fair, me too!" At the very least, they'd proposition the girl (while probably ignoring her guy), asking rudely to join in; and at worst, they'd force themselves on her regardless of her objections.
Okay, that's pretty scary. But it's mostly a symptom of the "if a girl looks hot, she's asking for it" line of thinking, which we ought to be working harder to combat anyway. That, and the idea that there are horny men out there who want more sex than they can get (whether it's because women don't want it as much as them, or because the women just don't want it with them).
But that's pretty much inevitable when we make sex something that's hard to get, and when we shame people (girls, usually) out of 'giving it up'. If people felt more comfortable having as much sex (and it would be safer sex if we could pull our heads out of our asses on the education front) as they wanted, then there would probably be less instances of pushy men resorting to rape (even if it's 'soft' rape) cause they can't get it legitimately.
I'm not saying those men are justified in their actions, I'm just saying I can see the chain of causality, and if a healthier approach towards sex on a cultural level (which is a good thing in and of itself) has the side bonus of reducing some rapists' motivation to rape, then that's even better, right?
Another thing that would help immensely would be to legalize prostitution across the board. If a desperate man could put down a few bucks to get laid, he'd be far less inclined to manipulate women to get the same end result.
More so if we reduce the stigma on prostitution - namely, that 'johns' are pathetic low-lifes (not to mention, at this time, usually criminals) who can't get it 'the real way'. That, and whores are always filthy sluts who carry diseases (which is far less true than you might think, and would be even less true if sex work were a legal, legitimate vocation).
I just don't see how the whole, "sex is a dangerous force, we have to regulate it tightly and keep people from thinking about it too much in order to reduce instances of sex-motivated antisocial behavior!" works. Are we not about as obsessed with sex, collectively, as we possibly could be in this country? Fat load of good that approach is doing then, isn't it?
And antisocial sexual behavior occurs all the time! The people running the show would say, "oh, it's just because we're not doing enough, send us more money." But I say, it's because the whole damn approach is wrong. Prohibition turns sex into a criminal activity. No wonder sex hounds act like criminals.
It's not because people want sex or because people think about sex or because people are exposed to sex. Give everyone who wants sex an outlet, stop criticizing them for thinking about sex, and give up on the whole stupid idea that being exposed to sex is offensive or even traumatizing. (Okay, maybe sex is gross to look at sometimes, but outside of porn, nobody is forcing it in your face).
I suppose that if we relaxed restrictions on sexual activity, there would be a whole lot more sex going on - or, at the very least, the sex that's already going on will be a whole lot more visible. All I can say is, so what? Sex is exciting. It feels good. It gets you turned on.
I imagine people who really do hate sex (and hate being reminded of it) would just love to see it all disappear, the way we try to make it do now. But I wouldn't mind being inundated with sexual media everywhere I go. God knows I'm inundated with other kinds of media, most of which don't even thrill me the way sex does...
Let couples get it on in public. Emphasize that sexual morality consists of how you treat people - specifically, whether you honor their consent, and only do things with people who want you to do those things with them - and not of whether or not you 'indulge' in the mortal sin of lust. That's a god damn given!
Being a good person is about more than resisting the temptations of the flesh. Flesh is tempting for a damn good reason - and it's not so that we can prove we're able to resist giving our body what it wants.
Moderation is a good thing, yes - but you can't be moderate unless you indulge sometimes. Abstinence is about as wacky as total, unrestrained hedonism, and if that's what your precious 'god' values, then He scares me as much as you do. Come off it already. Sex is a natural part of life. Let's learn to deal with it in a mature way already.
