I was reading a handful of blog posts (a not infrequent pastime for me) about issues relating to prostitution (sex work vs. sex slavery) and the whole sex-positive vs. anti-porn feminist dichotomy, and one comment on one of those posts articulated a point that always crosses my mind when I hear people talking about "ethical pornography", especially with regard to its content.
The issue in question is related to the subject of "feminist porn", in the context of it being some sort of remedy to traditional porn which is often criticized (in some feminist circles) as being degrading to women and all that jazz. Now the first thing I think when someone talks about the merits of lesbian for lesbian porn, or trans-porn, or any combination of alternative porn scenarios, is, what about the people who like good old-fashioned man on woman porn? As far as porn goes, I like to see men and women having sex with each other. Doesn't mean I buy into patriarchy and women as disposable objects and all of that - I'd just like some confirmation that you don't have to be queer in your sexual tastes in order to be a socially conscious porn consumer.
Another issue is that of beauty. I've heard arguments about how women are objectified when their value is judged based on their physical appearance. I don't judge women based solely on their physical appearance, but I'm not going to pretend that I'm not sexually attracted to beautiful feminine specimens. The badge of "I don't objectify women" is not worth giving up my sex drive, and moreover, wearing it is not required to treat women with respect. I live by the belief that you can be sexually attracted to women (and show it) and still respect them. And, therefore, I'm in no hurry to see a change-over in the porn industry where beautiful women are replaced by less beautiful women (it happens in Hollywood and advertising everywhere, not just in porn, and it happens for a reason - beautiful people are nice to look at). I know it's harsh that not all persons are equally attractive, but it's the truth - and anyway, people have different standards, so if you're not attractive by one standard, it doesn't mean you're not beautiful by another.
Lastly, there is the dramatic content of porn, and the question of its ethics. A lot of people argue that certain types of porn - like porn featuring rape and domination of women and partialism and things of that sort - are inherently degrading to women and/or are not ethical in terms of having a good, feminist, social consciousness. But what the comment that inspired my post here reinforces (and I do recommend you read that comment, here), is that people really do get off on some "disturbing" stuff sometimes. And it doesn't mean they do that stuff in real life (rape fantasies are very popular, for example, but do not indicate that a person is a rapist, or wants to be, or would even enjoy it if they did it). And as much as we might talk about how great porn would be if it were all sunshine-and-rainbows, I'm sure the BDSM community would agree that sunshine-and-rainbows sex isn't always the sex we're looking for, and it isn't always the sex that turns us on. But more importantly, that fact doesn't mean that we're bad people, or that we have a poor code of ethics, or that we're interested in actually degrading people and acting sexist and whatnot outside of our fantasies and our carefully constructed sexual scenarios.
The bottom line of all of this, and the thing I feel the urge to express every time I hear someone talk about how porn can be "problematic", is that we can discuss the merits of different kinds of porn and the effects it has on people specifically, and society as a whole, but we ought to be careful not to advocate any form of censorship of certain types of material on the basis of it being deemed offensive (to me or you or him or her), or start suggesting that certain sexual ideas are better or worse than others, without differentiating feelings and fantasies and turn-ons from the beliefs we hold and the actions we engage in (hopefully with responsibility) in our lives.
In other words, looking at pictures of traditionally beautiful women, and (perhaps) watching them being raped (staged, only) doesn't make me into the kind of person who treats women poorly and with disrespect. And so, if that's my sexual fantasy (actually, I don't like rape much, but I'm not above using it here as an example), I ought to be able to indulge in it, and feel good about indulging in it, provided I know the limits of fantasy and acting (which is my responsibility to learn, not yours to regulate), and that's the bottom line. I agree, also, that I prefer my porn to be ethically produced by someone or some company with a social consciousness (and that, too, is worthy of discussion), however the content of that porn ought to be as disgusting or as depraved as is required to get me turned on.
