Friday, July 8, 2011

Sex Advice from a Nudist

I'm ripping off this idea from nerve.com [broken link] because I thought it would be fun. Of course, I'm probably cheating, because in addition to being a nudist, I'm also a sexual liberationist, but the nudist experience is definitely there. ;-p

Why are nudists better in bed?
Because they are comfortable in their skin, and more sensitive to the everyday stimulations of one's environment.

I'm interested in attending my first nudist event, but I'm really insecure about the size of my penis. What should I do?
You should learn to accept what you've got. A man is more than the size of his penis. Anyway, it's not like nudists are going to care how big (or small) you are. You're not there to show off.

My girlfriend is a nudist, but I'm not into it. I'm uncomfortable letting her attend nudist events by herself, and I'm not interested in going. Is it crazy that I want her to hang out with me, with her clothes on, instead of a bunch of naked strangers?
Yes, it's crazy. And you're ruining it for the rest of us. :p Stop being so possessive. Do you realize how lucky you are to have a girlfriend who is into nudism?

What's the best way to pick up someone at a nudist event?
Don't try. Because if you do, there's a good chance you'll get kicked out. If you meet someone, that's great, but it should progress naturally. Just because everyone's nude doesn't mean they're all looking for a hook-up.

I get easily aroused — sometimes for no clear reason. What happens if I'm at a nudist event, and I get an erection around someone I'm not attracted to, or worse, someone I am?
That depends on where you are and who you're with. I like to think most nudists will be forgiving, as long as you're not behaving lewdly (try to ignore or conceal the erection, if possible, instead of flaunting it). I get aroused easily, myself, but I find if you don't stimulate it or concentrate on it (or on whatever might have caused it), it will go away before long. If it's the person in front of you who caused it, then just try really hard to focus on the conversation. :p Worst case scenario, if somebody seems upset, address the issue in a light-hearted manner, showing them that you're personable and not trying to be creepy or aggressive.

How long do I have to wait before I asked out my sister's ex-boyfriend?
You should ask your sister that question. Unless you're on bad terms, in which case it's up to you, provided you're not interested in patching things up with your sister anytime soon.

I am not a fan of women who don't shave. Nothing personal — it's just a preference. I don't want to go home with someone, find out she's unshaven, and then offend her. How can I meet shaved women?
Find an online community for shaved people. Barring that, you have two options. If you're hooking up with someone and it's not serious, then don't feel bad about stating your preference. If you're in a more serious commitment, then you should be able to work something out if you let your girlfriend know how important it is to you.

I think it's really important for a young woman to learn about her sexuality. Is it weird to give my seventeen-year-old daughter a vibrator?
No, it's not weird at all. But you should probably ask her first, she might already have one.

I dated a professor, while I was in his class, secretly. He broke up with me, and now I've found out that he's dating another student of his. Should I report him?
Report him for what? Breaking your heart? Take the high road.

I'm a married woman who's no longer sexually compatible with her husband. Is it better to have a secret affair, and lie, or leave my husband and fuck up my kids?
It's better for you to talk to your husband, and try to work out a compromise, if possible. If that's not possible, you can still be there for your kids. You can't protect them from all the shit that's going to happen to them throughout their lives, but you can be there for them to support them when they need you.

I'm a gay man and I just found out my partner used to "date" older men for money. I wouldn't mind if he was broke and doing it out of necessity, but he was a student at a good college. I'd like to let bygones be bygones, but it's driving me crazy. What should I do?
You should talk to your partner. Find out why it bothers you, and whether it's something you can get over. He's not a bad person just because he's willing to trade sexual favors for money. Anyway, isn't it better that he did it voluntarily, and not out of necessity? Are you saying that 'prostitution' is okay if it's forced, but not if it's engaged in consensually? Isn't that a little backwards?