Car Sex

[description: series of portraits of two naked people having sex in a car]

No doubt, there are those who would say that much of the art I produce is pornographic, whether due to the presence of erections, "lascivious" exhibition of the genitals, or, from a more conservative standpoint, the fact that I pose the naked human body unselfconsciously as an object of [presumably sexual] desire.

The truth is that I produce very little imagery that is sexually explicit in a strict sense - a masturbation video from time to time, and the rare portrait of sexual intercourse. I'd like to do more of the latter, but it provides significant obstacles, not least of which is that, as a self-portrait photographer, it is very hard to get a good picture of yourself having sex, because you're going to be highly distracted and not sufficiently focused on the photography aspect of the activity.

I imagine it would be a whole lot easier to photograph somebody else having sex, but those opportunities are even fewer and farther between. Moreover, though I am a pervert, I'm not simply interested in producing smut (lord knows there's plenty of that available), but sophisticated erotic art, and, to that end, I'd want to start with model-caliber actors (how often do you get to see beautiful people having sex, as opposed to just horny people? Beautiful people usually have other things going for them and don't need to rely on/can't handle the stigma, unfortunately, of pornographic work), which rules out just asking a couple of exhibitionists from the local chapter of Swingers Anonymous.

Or, I guess in this case, not so anonymous. Which is another issue - there are a lot of logistics involved with producing sexually explicit media. The social aspect (most people don't want to be known as "porn stars") is unavoidable, but the government does their part in making it all the more difficult to depict and share this ubiquitous aspect of the human condition. God bless America? I'd prefer to live deliciously.

Dress Code: Beach Rules

Because the beach rules!

[description: fashion selfie in a teal, patterned bikini with purse and flip flops]

I am reminded of an article I came across during my speedo/bikini survey, about a tourist town banning swimsuits in the city, because of people wandering in from the beach. And I just can't wrap my head around why anyone would want to have less of a good thing. Why do some people insist on spoiling other people's fun? I wish I could wear a bikini - and I wish I could encounter other people wearing bikinis - anywhere and everywhere I go, provided the weather's right and all that.

Am I really that much of an outlier, because I don't like rules that force people to cover up? I mean, I know I'm a nudist, and nudists aren't exactly in the majority, but skin exposure sells. So why is it such a taboo? I just really love and enjoy the human body that much. Of course, not all of them are picture perfect, but the good ones more than make up for the bad. I wish opportunities to appreciate them weren't so few and far between.

Skimpy Sunshine

So, I was thinking about things I have that I could wear to do yard work in, that cover me up the least amount required by law. And I decided to give these ultra-skimpy bikini bottoms a try. They are quite sexy, but let me tell you, I was so distracted by myself while wearing them, that I kept getting sidetracked taking pictures of myself in them. But it was fun.

[description: a man poses in the sunshine in a scandalously skimpy bikini bottom]

I'm a straightforward, "keep nothing hidden" kind of guy, but the thrill of the almost can be so tantalizing sometimes.

[description: further selfies in the aforementioned bikini bottom]

I was also thinking about what I could wear that would give me a sexy, suggestive tan line for those times when I can be naked.

[description: a man in a skimpy bikini bottom lays out in the sunshine]

I'm not generally fond of tan lines from an aesthetic perspective, but one thing that's fun is being able to tell when people spend a lot of time with a lot of their skin exposed. If you see a nudist with an all-over tan, you know they spend a lot of time outdoors in the sun without a stitch on their body. For those who don't have an opportunity to practice nudism on more than an occasion here and there, sometimes you can tell by their tan what kind of swimsuits they've recently worn to the beach. And while voyeurism and exhibitionism are frowned upon in nudist environments - everyone's exposed and nobody cares - textile beaches are a different story. So you can imagine just how exposed a person with a skimpy tan line was at one point while probably surrounded by people who most likely weren't nudists.

[description: closeup on the torso of a man sunning in a skimpy bikini bottom]

(That is, unless they were cheating, like me). :-p

[description: high-angle selfies revealing a penis plainly visible behind the waistband]

Viewed from a certain angle, you can see how precarious the fit is. It's little more than a rubber band stretched across my waist. :-x

[description: an engorged penis arcs well above the waistband of a skimpy bikini bottom]

In this condition, one must be cautious about becoming too excited. ;-)

[description: further selfies emphasize how low the bikini bottom sits on the hips]

I was also inspired by a girl I saw at the water park wearing swimsuit bottoms that were actually this skimpy. And you know how I feel about equality of the sexes. -_^

Water Park

[description: fashion selfies modeling a t-shirt and shorts, and a swim brief]

Saying goodbye to summer with one last trip to a water park. It wasn't quite the last day of August, but it was the weekend before Labor Day, when the season comes to a close. (To say that my posts are running a little bit behind would be an understatement). Like Persephone descending into the Underworld, on the way home I was lamenting that it would probably be at least another nine months before I got to see another girl in a bikini...

I tell you, it always gets to me - every single time. Pools and beaches and water parks - anywhere there's swimming - are like another world from the one we inhabit day in and day out. Every day, we receive these signals - some explicit, some subliminal - reinforcing the "sinfulness" of what could be considered "the pleasures of the flesh". Even if it's something as passive as people going about their business, their bodies mostly covered up in their clothes. Sure, people like sexiness - they consume it in mass quantities - but you're supposed to feel ashamed about it, and keep it hidden away behind a NSFW filter. A skirt that bares too much thigh invites disapproving looks. But then you go swimming, and it's like a veritable meat market. Butts and boobs are hanging out everywhere and nobody bats an eyelash. It's almost like they don't notice (although I'm certain they do - the fact that everybody still behaves in a civilized manner, as nudists do, demonstrates that it's not a problem having all that flesh on display). Because in that isolated context, for some reason, it's accepted.

And I couldn't be happier. There are so many beautiful girls wearing skimpy clothing with so much skin on display, it's almost blinding - long legs and bare feet, tight butts and flat tummies, collar bones and shoulder blades. It's a veritable feast for the eyes. And although you get a good variety, there are always plenty of fit, attractive specimens on display - and of all ages, not limited by the arbitrary taboos of "civilized" society. What I wouldn't give to be a model scout. I'm telling you, I could die on that boardwalk, and be the happiest soul in the universe haunting it for all eternity, just watching the bodies stroll on by, day after day after day. I appreciate the slightly fuller view you get in nudist situations, but honestly, the demographics can't compare. I've learned over the years that I'm willing to concede a few small strips of clothing for that enormous trade-off.

[description: a man in a swim brief stands in front of a fountain under grey skies]
Not the prettiest weather for a day at the water park, but it
was hot and humid, and the rain stayed away, so no complaints.

The other thing that gets to me (and by now you're probably bored of hearing me complain about this) is the sheer ridiculousness of the double standard that exists between men and women, in terms of how much (or which) skin it is appropriate to display. I'm aware of the relativity of my perspective - in society, men are expected to fit one role (the appraisers), and women are expected to fit another (the appraised), and most people just fall into line without questioning it. To them, I am certainly an anomaly. I've always been told that I am unique - in the way that all parents tell their children they're unique - but out of the hundreds of people at the water park that day, I was literally one of a kind (from what I could see), as the only man wearing anything remotely akin to a swim brief.

But if you actually sit down and think about it - and as someone who freely crosses the gender divide, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it - it just doesn't make any damn sense that, for example, a girl with her own butt cheeks hanging shamelessly out of her bikini bottoms would physically make the effort to turn her head and cover her eyes to avoid the sight of a man in the same condition.

Now, I get it. Men are, typically, gross. Not all are, by a long shot - but just as the archetype of womanhood is a curvy supermodel, the archetype of manhood is a hairy ape with a beer belly. If I'd have been an average male with a hairy ass jammed into a Speedo, and a belly spilling over the waistband, I could understand. But I'm not. And not all men are. Just because men aren't traditionally held up to the same level of grooming standards that women are, doesn't mean they are incapable of rising to those standards. I think that, to the same extent that it should be acceptable for a woman to not shave her legs consistently (and I actually saw one girl on the lazy river with visible leg hair), men should be subjected to the same pressure as women are to shave theirs. I am an equalist, that's all. A true egalitarian. Not a feminist who calls for equality, but really just wants to prop women up on a pedestal.

I, personally, hold myself up to higher grooming standards than the average male. Indeed, my standards are close (not equivalent - as I don't usually wear makeup - but close) to that of the average female. If you were to isolate a certain part of my body - say, my butt in a tight swim brief - and were then unable to reliably distinguish it from a woman's butt in a bikini bottom, then why should your reaction to either one be different, if the stimulus is close to identical? You don't have to like it or think it's attractive, but how can you shrug off a hundred women's asses, and then have such a visceral reaction to one man, whose butt does not look appreciably different? (Especially if you're sexually attracted to men - that's the part that really bakes my noodle).

Is it just because you're not prepared to think of a guy in that way? It's transphobic is what it is. I want to be able to play the role that females embrace without a second thought. I'm willing to work extra hard for it, because I'm coming from a different starting position. I just want it to be an option, a possibility. Why are people so hard-wired to respond with disgust to something they're not used to? Something that violates certain unspoken rules they've become accustomed to? I get that it's human nature, but it seems to me like an inferior nature. A cloistering, suffocating nature. Why would anyone want to just see the same thing over and over and over again? I mean, if it's what you like, that's great - I never want the parade of beautiful girls in bikinis to end (and I certainly wouldn't enjoy them wearing board shorts, even if they wore them topless - although I would absolutely defend their freedom to do so). But why would you disparage other options from even existing, when you know they could mean happiness for another person? We don't all have to be the same. Indeed, we are not the same. And trying to force us to act like it breeds unhappiness. So don't disparage the outliers, the trend-breakers, the trailblazers, and the nonconformists. You don't have to be one of them. Any more than they have to be one of you.

Afterthought: I don't know why I'm so preoccupied with butts. It occurs to me that the thing other people could be primarily concerned with is the bulge. Still, it's not healthy to live with a traumatic fear of even the vague suggestion of the shape of the male anatomy. Alternatively, perhaps it's because we live in an adolescent culture preoccupied with the size of men's "packages", and most guys want to keep their hand concealed. But I don't understand why it should be so much different than judging women by the size of their chests - something that's hard to hide in any kind of swimsuit. And it's not like the particularly well-endowed are in the habit of wearing so-called "banana hammocks" - reticence for swim briefs is across the board. Maybe I'm wasting my time trying to rationalize the issue - most people in this culture just aren't used to it, and have been programmed to respond with either humor or disgust. All there is to do is re-program - and the only way to do that is with more exposure. See enough plum smugglers, and the novelty is bound to wear off...eventually. Right?

Communicate

I wish I could communicate to you in a photograph the warmth of the summer sunshine on my exposed skin, the texture of the grass and pavement under my feet - a constant reminder of my unclothed state - or the pleasant sensation of freedom that comes from the feeling of my genitalia swinging freely as I move (which would not be possible in an otherwise body-baring pair of shorts or a swim brief). I can hardly describe the holistic sensation of being naked, especially outdoors (but indoors, too). It is not sexual in nature (although it is not immune to erotic interpretation), but more akin to a spiritual delight. I can show the beauty of the human body in an image, and even hint at the joy I feel in practicing nudism, but I can't make you feel those things. Only by participating in the activity yourself is that possible.

But you may not experience it the way I do. Whatever combination of physical and psychological factors contributes to my enjoyment of being nude may not combine to form the perfect cocktail for you as it does for me. You cannot know without trying, but trying is not a guarantee of agreement. I can use my words to describe my perspective, and hope that you can empathize with me. But there is a possibility that you will not believe me, either because you do not know me and cannot trust me, or because my perspective clashes with your opposing one in some fundamental way.

What to do then, if you cannot understand me? Should I be forced to submit to your view, or should you be forced to submit to mine? And if either be the case, what justification is there for it not being the other way around? The only equitable solution I can foresee is for us to "agree to disagree". You continue your life under your perspective, and I continue my life under mine. Not forcing others to behave as we would choose to in the same circumstances, but allowing them the freedom to diverge.

But I cannot hope for all mankind to be so reasonable. Certainly, experience bears out the fallibility of the human condition. If I expect another to be my rational and tolerant equal, I should have no fear in going about my business, content that he will not object on grounds of mutual liberty. But I have learned not to be so gracious, for fear of my own safety. If that other is less than perfect, as we all are, then he may object on account of personal distaste; and however unjustified his complaint may be, I am likely to experience as much discomfort as I have "inflicted" upon him, whether at his hands or at the hands of the machinery of the state. What is the likelihood of this outcome? I do not know. For sure, it is not guaranteed. But it remains a possibility, and not an entirely unlikely one. So I must make a gamble, between living the life I want to lead, and caving to peer pressure in order to avoid a lesser or greater potential inconvenience.

I don't want this anxiety on my mind. To be true, my opponent has already won. Because even if I do continue my lifestyle as desired, I do so with a mental burden of fear. Is this just the price I have to pay for being different from the majority? Before, I was unselfconsciously pursuing my happiness - being naked outdoors, pursuing the vocation of photography. Not harming, not bothering anybody. Just minding my own business. But the fear of external judgment sabotages that peace. Should I continue minding my own business as long as anyone who stumbles upon me continues minding their own? Or should I make a self-sacrifice, to prevent the possibility of future complications? There are no easy answers in life.

The Glittering Veil

[description: series of selfies in a sheer, pink, glittering miniskirt - and nothing else]

I actually wore this outfit on a quick run to the gas station - just as you see it: no shirt, no shoes, just skirt and purse. I didn't go in the gas station, of course; I just waited in the car. But it was still fun.

Although rationally, it's good to be prepared for contingencies (i.e., have something on hand with which to cover up), there's something thrilling about not having that safety net - the thought that, if something were to come up, you couldn't cover yourself even if you wanted to, and therefore you'd be forced into novel situations you wouldn't dare enter without a crutch, if you had the chance to make a reasoned choice. Situations with a likelihood of undesirable consequences that nevertheless seem like they'd be exciting in your fantasies, where everything works out to your benefit.

I don't know why there should be such a disconnect between the idea and the reality - that walking into a gas station naked should seem like it would be a good time, when in reality it would likely result in a stressful confrontation or worse. Perhaps that's why this sort of sexual psychology is considered an abnormality. The ideal scenario, I think, would be one in which I was aware of any and all potential onlookers, and able to evade each and every one, sneaking in and out of dangerous situations with the potential of being caught, but having the heightened sensory awareness to avoid detection (a scenario that our modern security camera-fixated society renders pretty much impossible).

Perhaps this sort of scenario is effective because it maximizes the thrill of being naked where you shouldn't, while ensuring that the negative outcome (getting caught) is never actualized. That's what I think makes this sort of activity so exciting - the constant reminder that you are only one small step from being exposed, without having to leave what minimal comfort zone you've maintained for yourself. More potent than couch surfing naked, but less dangerous than actually walking into a store. Like balancing on a razor wire - you get all the thrill of heights, without [one hopes] actually falling. But the excitement wouldn't be nearly as strong if there were not an actual drop below you.

Garden Pest

As far as voyeurism goes, I know most people these days have a strict "consent only" policy. Call me a villain if you must, but I believe "least harm" is a better rule. Certainly, as long as these things are considered taboo, a pervert's going to have to reach a little bit in pursuit of his happiness. If you want to improve shady behaviors, you have to stop demonizing the desires that lead to them in the first place. Empathetic redirection is superior to an "exterminate the pests" approach.

[description: a naked man with erection hides in the bushes next to a girl sun tanning in a bikini]

Anyway, if you manage to get a peek at something, what you do with that view is what matters. If you call the cops and complain (about something harmless like getting dressed in front of a window), then you're being a pest. If you use that information to harm the person in any way - e.g., spreading rumors, damaging their reputation - then you're also being a pest. Certainly, if you're trespassing in any form, then you're not just being a pest, but a criminal, too.

But if you just enjoy the view and then go on your way, there's no harm done. Erotic appreciation is far from the worst thing anyone can do to another person - that belief is symptomatic of a sex-negative perspective, in which sexuality at its base is this violative, corruptive influence, instead of a positive background energy that imbues most of our interactions in life.