Easy Target

I recently started getting emails again from fotocommunity (I'm not going to link them, for reasons that will soon become clear), a photo-sharing website I prospectively joined years ago but never actually used. I like the idea of sharing a gallery of some of my best photos (maybe my coolest clone shots and loveliest landscape nudes) and, you know, perhaps getting some professional recognition. But I visited again just long enough to confirm that in order to share in and even access the nude gallery, you have to pay for a premium membership (I suspect this is why I never used it to begin with - it's just been so long I've forgotten). Which is the reason I finally deleted my account on Flickr, after the most recent changes (a few years back).

Look, I can understand that, as a website dedicated to art, you want to provide some kind of barrier to make sure the people who contribute to the nude community are serious, and the whole thing doesn't just devolve into a den of smut. I get that. I don't even disagree with it! And also, consumption of nudes is big business, so it's a great way to take people's money. But you need to learn how to distinguish collaborators from consumers*. I wouldn't be there just to browse nudes and satisfy my baser urges. I'm a sophisticated nude artist. With not only years, but decades of experience! (Well, 18 years at last count - my photography is old enough to star in porn!).

I would be contributing good quality content - not just photos, but insight and reflection on other people's works. But you're gonna discriminate against me as an artist, because my chosen specialty is nude photography, and treat me like a lousy pervert, making me PAY you to provide valuable content to YOUR website to draw even more subscriptions (from which I'll never see a stinking dime). I'm not a fool. I'm already engaged in effectively unpaid labor. I'm not gonna give away the fruits of those labors for someone to make a profit off of them, while NOT ONLY leaving me out of the loop, but requiring that I cough up money I don't have so THEY can exploit ME. If somebody did that to me without me voluntarily giving them my consent, it would be a clear violation of my rights! So then why would I agree to that?

It makes me so mad. And there isn't a thing I can do about it, but suffer even more by being excluded from the global community of artists who do something similar to what I do. Am I being unreasonable here? Sometimes I wish someone would come along and finally disabuse me of my principled delusions, and show me a better way to live. But I'm just too damn smart. For me to believe someone who contradicts me, they would have to actually outwit me, to convince me they're right. And there are very few people in the world who could do that - and those that could have absolutely no interest in me (and I don't blame them).

*Although such an arrangement could backfire on me, because they would almost certainly overlook the artistic merit in my pictures, and just see someone who doesn't even use a professional camera, and is willing to take pornographic photos (which, I don't know, displays a fundamental "deviance" in my psychology that would be viewed as "legally unsafe", in terms of trusting me not to breach their walls of etiquette; like as if making erotica means you're a degenerate who lacks any ability to read a room and follow the rules of the hosting platform), and see me as a liability or someone to drag down the fine quality of their gallery.

And this is the world you expect me to have hope for? To struggle within, in order to better myself and others? I know life's not fair, and nobody out there is advocating for me but myself. Nor is there a God up in the sky to guide things, and mete out cosmic justice. But all I ask is for somebody to throw a bone my way. To see my potential and give me an opportunity. I'm willing to work for it. I'm just not going to sacrifice my principles and prostitute myself out for it. That should make me MORE qualified for this kind of a position, not less... But capitalism needs spineless wage slaves, not free-thinking innovators.

Machine Bias

I want to express myself creatively - like anybody else could. It just so happens that a subject I'm interested in is the human body. I have a concept that's not even sexual in nature (although I would argue that it shouldn't matter even if it was; but to make my argument even stronger, it's not). But because it involves people in minimal clothing - albeit clothing that is perfectly street legal, and that you can see in real life anywhere people go swimming - my access to the tools everyone else can use is limited. Why? Because of the paranoid fear that somebody somewhere might use their imagination to achieve sexual gratification. (I'm not making this up, it's what ChatGPT told me - I'd share the chatlogs, but I deleted my account in abject frustration). No matter how likely or unlikely that possibility is, or whether it has anything to do with my own artistic intent. As if that would be such a horrible thing, anyway.

And so here I am, artistically frustrated, because I can't express my own voice in society, in creative protest against the way things are, which is the only way I could ever possibly change public sentiment, or at least raise awareness. And this is in spite of the fact that public protest is not only supposed to be a guaranteed civil right, but one of the fundamental values our country was allegedly founded upon. Yes, of course, I can still speak my mind, probably without censure. But my vocabulary is limited, and my access to the same tools of expression others can use is restricted. How is that not discrimination, that unfairly disadvantages me because my beliefs run counter to the accepted mainstream point of view? If you ask me, that sounds unconstitutional. But now more than ever, there is no such thing as justice or even liberty in this country. My efforts are futile. My voice is silenced. And I can do nothing but lick the hand that has put me in chains.