Shit Naturists Say

I switched it up this time for reasons that will soon become obvious.

"Naturists are nudists with principles."

To be fair, I don't think it's pretentious to have beliefs and principles that go along with living a nude lifestyle. What I think is pretentious is suggesting that everyone who calls themself a nudist lacks principles, and that everyone who calls themself a naturist is comparatively more principled.

I've made it pretty clear that I sympathize with the notion of a principled nudism. But isn't that just nudism? Do we really need a separate term for it? And even if we did, why do we have to fall back on a synonym with regional variance, essentially condemning everyone in the wrong culture who unknowingly happened to pick the wrong term? Why not use a far less widespread yet more academic-sounding term like "gymnosophy"?

[description: two bags of potato chips sit on a shelf - one rippled, the other wavy]

Are there even really "nudists" who simply get naked without any thought whatsoever to what it means in their lives to reject such a strongly held societal taboo? Or are those the sorts of people I hear about who don't even go so far as to adopt the label of "nudist" for themselves? Are we bending backwards in order to find someone to degrade, so we can feel superior? Isn't it enough that we can all band together and criticize textiles? Why must we also fight amongst ourselves?

Everybody's got principles. And no two sets are ever going to be exactly the same. Which principles do you have to hold to be considered holier-than-thou? Clothing optional or nudist only? Trimmed or natural? Naked at home alone or outdoors with friends? Does your family have to be in on it, too? What about drinking and smoking? Are calisthenics required? Who exactly gets to decide? The idea that there is any functional difference between nudists and naturists (any more than there is between two individuals who call themselves nudists, or two individuals who call themselves naturists) is not only bogus, it's offensive. And divisive.

Naturists are nudists with principles? So are nudists. Textiles are the ones we should be judging and shaming. Not each other.

Shit Nudists Say

I started this series over a year ago. I called it "things nudists say that make me groan" to be a little less offensive, but in hindsight, I should have just called it "shit nudists say" after all. Well, here's another entry:

"I don't understand why anyone would want to buy nudist images or videos of strangers."

This is shit not just because the people who say this obviously know why someone would do this - they're just implying that there's no good (as in virtuous) reason to do it, and that the people who do it for other reasons deserve to be judged and shamed.

I don't believe that people who find value (even monetary) in naked images or videos of strangers should be judged or shamed. Even if that value is erotic in nature. If you see an attractive stranger on the street, you're admiring the erotic appeal of their body. It doesn't matter whether or not they set out to be admired in that way.

I understand that nudism is a more sensitive context, but a) admiring somebody even for erotic purposes is perfectly harmless, and b) I might get flak for saying this, but if you're a nudist, part of your philosophy should be "I'm okay with perfect strangers seeing me naked". It shouldn't matter how they interpret what they see. It should only matter how they behave towards you.

[description: two nudists hit a volleyball back and forth on the grass]
Nudism and photography are a match made in paradise.

And if you're being featured, consensually (I assume - otherwise this is a separate issue), in some form of multimedia that is being shared with and/or viewed by diverse audiences (that is to say, not a private, hand-picked group - although even then you might be surprised by the thoughts going through some of the people's heads, if you only knew), then you have no recourse to complain that the wrong person looked at it for the wrong reason.

(But it frequently seems to be third parties expressing concern for the sake of others they do not know the desires or intentions of, and I despise that kind of "savior" mentality, where an imagined slight is manufactured on behalf of one who never asked for their choices and actions to be second guessed by puritannical holier-than-thous, who like nothing more than to tell people there are certain things you just can't consent to, because it offends somebody else's fragile sensibilities. That's the whole reason sex work is criminalized, and why pornography is under threat of heading in the same direction).

But besides all that, we've completely side-stepped the possibility that there could be nonsexual reasons for somebody to enjoy naked depictions of strangers. Is the human body not a work of art? Do nudists not preach that the human body is beautiful? So what's wrong with looking at it, then?

And then there is the more common argument from sympathetic nudists, who like to see other people practicing this minority lifestyle, to make them feel not so alone in the world. I feel like there's a lot of suspicion levied against this argument, as if it's considered a hollow excuse for more sinister desires. I don't think it's fair to jump to that conclusion, and assume that nobody watching nudist strangers is doing it for anything other than a sexual motive.

But, as I've argued, even if that were true, it's still not a big deal. And if you're putting yourself (your whole self) out on the internet, let's be real. It's gonna happen, and it's pretty pointless to complain about it. God forbid that nudist photo of you should make somebody enjoy their life a little bit more for a short period of time in a way you didn't intend. God is definitely going to roast you in hell for that unthoughtful act of charity.

Tune in next time (maybe) on Shit Nudists Say for "when we discard our clothes, we discard our social status."

And What's Wrong With That, Anyway?

I don't even waste my time on the soul-sucking website that is Reddit anymore, but after an exhilarating month of vacations, I was exhausted and resting at home, bored and apparently starved for drama, because I decided to skim /r/nudism for the first time in forever. (The truth is, I miss having discussions with people about nudism, but nudists can be cloisteringly dogmatic sometimes). And there was one thing that stood out, and that I felt like addressing, that echoes some things I've heard elsewere in the news and on social media lately, on the subject of public nudity, in the context of such activities as naked bike rides and pride parades.

[description: a nude person rides a bicycle through a parking lot]

So, in response to a query about nude protesters marching in a pride parade, one seasoned debater and cunning linguist remarked, "U wanted to show ur pp and nothing else." [The entire quotation is copied sic erat scriptum for effect - honestly, I can't help reading it and hearing a petulant five year old's voice in my head]. I wanted to address that criticism, because it seems to me that we expend so much effort these days trying to bypass a straightforward reading of reality in order to fall back on the most politically correct stance available (example: restricting adults' access to porn because we don't want curious teenagers to seek it out).

Thus, the typical response is, "it has nothing to do with showing my penis", when the more accurate response would be, "yes, I do want to show my penis; what of it?" Instead of trying to convince the other side of our different approach, we bend over backwards to make it seem like we're already in agreement. But this doesn't work, because it's not genuine. Of course, it's very unlikely to convince someone with the more straightforward approach, either, but at least you maintain your honesty and integrity that way.

The tragedy is that we live in a culture that hypocritically abhors freedom of choice, and has learned to grasp legitimacy by couching its criticism in moralistic concerns over "the greater good" of society (or, often, children). Ironically, it's the same strategy whether the conservatives are trying to codify the Bible into law, or complaining about the liberals enacting a nanny state (oh, you mean the type that takes health care choices away from women, and wants to make self-expression of a sexual nature illegal?).

[description: a long-haired woman in a dress stands with skirt split to unveil an erect penis]

Before you close the loop of your own chains by accusing me of advocating public acceptance of something so universally (well, almost - few things are truly universal; let's not creatively interpret the facts) reviled as adults sexually exhibiting themselves in front of children, understand that by doing so you would be leaping right to the conclusion the prejudiced malcontent quoted above so perfectly teed up for you. I'm not (necessarily) advocating for men to expose themselves in public for sexual gratification. I'm just saying, wanting to "show ur pp" doesn't imply a sexual motive, and can be backed up by a lot of beneficial arguments. You've been led hand in hand to assume a negative interpretation, and you're walking right into the trap.

"Showing ur pp" in public, to strangers (yes, including children), entails a lot of health benefits. And not just to you (although it is very freeing), but to the people you're showing it to. It promotes body acceptance and positivity, while combatting shame and body image disorders. It helps resolve hangups and unhealthy curiosity that can lead to poor sexual development. It supports the tenet of freedom that our country was founded on, and demonstrates diversity while simultaneously emphasizing our shared humanity. And it contributes to our artistic freedom of expression, through which our individual identities can flourish. And if you are doing it primarily for pleasure? I guess I missed class the day they taught us that pleasure is a bad thing.

[description: a nude figure stands partially obscured by a rainbow-patterned flag]

These are all the same principles that are propped up by nudism and the LGBT community alike. But just because the argument sounds unseemly (due to prejudiced assumptions), and is capable of being hijacked by unscrupulous agents (what argument isn't - including the argument this one is countering?), does that mean we aren't allowed to make it? If nudism is anything more than a farce (and I believe it is much more than that), then we should not shy away from the argument that society would benefit from more penises (along with the rest of the bodies of both sexes) being shown in public.

It's not an easy stance to market, but it's the truth, and isn't that what we believe? We should spend time figuring out how to convince the rest of the world of what we already know, instead of molding our position so far that it becomes accepted by the mainstream, at the cost of being unrecognizable from the counterculture ideology it started from. And what even is the point of that?

In short, a world where everyone is used to seeing human anatomy (as opposed to being frightened by it) would be a healthier and more productive world, and that's the world we should be working toward creating, no matter how the argument sounds on paper. All these people who freak out when exposed to a penis in public? They just need to see more penises in public. They'll get over it, and we'll all be better off for it. Let's stop catering to their neurotic delusions, to the detriment of us all.

Showering With Strangers

I recently had the opportunity to visit a new clothing optional (not specifically nudist, but open-minded) campground that I'd never been to before. For the sake of privacy, I'm not going to name it (as this isn't intended to be a review), although perceptive and/or well-traveled readers may be able to deduce the location. It's a rustic campground, with an atmosphere of new age spirituality - which I don't mind, being someone who has dabbled in neopaganism in my younger years. It was sparsely populated on the Saturday I arrived (and most people were dressed), and almost empty the next few days. Which was alright, since I only needed a place to sleep while vacationing in the area. But it was still nice to have a base of operations where I could walk around naked.

[description: a nude figure stands before a mirror propped up outdoors in the woods]

Anyway, the story I want to tell you is about the showers. The campground has two shower facilities. One centrally located in the poolhouse, and another near the entrance gate. The poolhouse showers are just a row of shower heads hanging from the ceiling, with no privacy partitions and in full view of the pool. The upper bathhouse is more traditional, with separate facilities for men and women. Although even there you get a row of shower heads, walled off from the rest of the bathroom, but open to each other. I never encountered a single other person at the upper bathhouse during my stay, but I preferred to use the poolhouse showers for their more open and (particularly) coed quality.

I'm a nudist (and more than that, an exhibitionist - although one who knows how to behave), so I have a lot of experience and no reservations about showering in front of strangers (or even people I know). That said, since the pandemic, I haven't had a lot of opportunities to visit nudist resorts (I've been satisfying my hunger for nude recreation free range, by going nude alone in the wilderness the past few summers), so it was a little bit more stimulating than I expected showering in the poolhouse that first night, with other people.

Here's how it happened. When I entered the poolhouse Saturday night, there was a young couple getting ready to swim in the pool. As I entered the shower area, the woman (who remained dressed in a one piece swimsuit the entire time) was rinsing off. Given her attire and demeanor, I got the impression that she might have been unaccustomed to social nudity, so I picked the shower head in the back corner and kept to myself. She subsequently got into the pool, after which the man she was with removed his shorts before rinsing off in the shower and then joining the woman in the pool. I had considered taking a dip in the pool myself before continuing with my shower, but it was a small pool, and I didn't want to encroach on the couple, or spook them with my level of confidence being naked in front of strangers.

So I just continued with my shower. In the past, there have been times when I've modified my shower routine in front of strangers, to reduce the amount of time I spend scrubbing my nether regions. But I decided that if we've all agreed to shower in front of each other, we might as well stick to our regular routines. Besides, I've seen other people scrub themselves pretty diligently, and it has to be done, right? Problem is, rubbing my dick in front of strangers can sometimes get me a little excited. It's even been known to happen on occasion while alone in the shower at home.

Rest assured, I behaved myself. I wasn't even fully stiff. But there was noticeable enlargement. It's all natural, right? Although even the thought of presenting a somewhat more impressive profile to anyone who might glance over was enough to keep me mentally stimulated. I'm a human being! (Also, I'm a model, so I know I'm easy on the eyes, and that in itself boosts my confidence). I tried my best just to focus on finishing my shower. But while I was engrossed in the substantial task of shampooing my waist-length hair, two young women, both nude, entered the poolhouse and began to shower. One of them even grabbed the shower head directly next to mine! I know "prudists" abhor the impulse to show off, but I couldn't help feeling thrilled at the opportunity to exhibit my body - damp and coursing with vitality - in front of others.

[description: a woman in a towel enters a bathhouse where a man is showering nude]

In case it bears repeating, I behaved myself. I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done any other time I've been focused on the act of taking a shower. I just enjoyed the sensation of being part of a free body culture, until I had finished toweling off; then I left. What's the point of there being beauty in the world if we're not allowed to admire it? Which brings me to my next subject. The lighting in the poolhouse was sparse and largely natural, but it somehow looked incredible. There were some mirrors on one side of the shower area. Not as many as I would have put there, but enough that I could catch a glimpse of myself showering from the near corner (as I discovered on a later day).

Not to sound narcissistic (I'm getting tired of making that disclaimer), but I looked incredible in that lighting, scrubbing my damp body down (the open layout prevented any issues with fogging). I wanted so badly to record a video of me showering, but I refrained, on account of there being a sign explicitly forbidding the use of cameras in the poolhouse. The campground has pretty reasonable common sense rules about photography (which is a refreshing change of pace), that I took advantage of to shoot some self-portraits while the place was pretty much empty. I didn't want to push their hospitality to the breaking point - even though I found myself alone in the poolhouse that last day, rinsing off after striking camp under the hot morning sun.

[description: a nude man in a grassy field jumps up, catching the sun in his hands]

So I restricted my photographic endeavors to the more remote and less populated upper bathhouse, but it just wasn't the same. I wouldn't know where to begin in setting up the right conditions in a more private location. It kills me that there can be visual stimuli in this world that I, as an artist, consider to be sublime, yet because of our taboos and hangups (even in a relatively open-minded and body-baring community), they have to go undocumented. Like a perfectly cooked meal, arbitrarily left to rot uneaten. Somebody show me a world where this isn't the case!

Skinny Dip Falls

[description: a hiker disrobes beside a babbling brook]

I was disappointed to hear about the controversy surrounding access rights to Skinny Dip Falls in Chautauqua County, NY as of this spring. And I wanted to get out there and experience it before it was too late. Reports seem to be mixed on how serious the situation is. I personally witnessed a nosy neighbor monitoring vehicles parking in the nearby turnout. But though "no trespassing" signs were posted on the adjacent property, the creek was still clearly marked out for public fishing. And I was not the only nude hiker in the gorge that day.

[description: a nude hiker spies a person sunbathing nude on a large rock in a creek]

I've freehiked wilderness trails before, and gone skinny dipping countless times at rivers, lakes, and on beaches. But almost always in a surreptitious manner. What's novel about this spot is its history and reputation for nudism (clearly marked, in one of the more conscientious examples of spray painting on rocks that I've seen). Unlike other occasions, where I've been anxious about running into other people, it was exhilarating being able to hike nude and not worry about who I came across (as they would have been amply warned of the possibility of encountering nudity). Indeed, I did encounter a few people while hiking nude, with whom I traded a friendly (and completely unselfconscious) greeting. Most notable was a group of four seasoned hikers who had entered the gorge ahead of me, one of which was himself hiking au naturel (and sporting the nudists' telltale all-over tan).

[description: a damp skinny dipper sits on a rock before a cascading waterfall]

We need more places like this in the world. Places where people can enjoy the natural beauty of our planet, and do so nude if they choose, without worrying about offending others who make different choices. Places that aren't fenced in and don't require admission fees (although I wouldn't mind paying $7 for the peace of mind to enjoy this trail without hassle or fear of being towed or ticketed for trespassing, while contributing to the local economy - which we most certainly did do while in the area). Places that aren't rooted to a landed community that, no matter how friendly, will inevitably make you feel like a guest and an outsider (with an intimidating list of rules, when all you really need to do is just use common sense). We need to do what it takes to keep these precious few places available to the public, which means fighting for them, but also using them responsibly and practicing good stewardship of the environment.

[description: a group of naked people lounge and recreate in and around a waterfall]

Because if my experience in the natural paradise of my own metaphorical backyard is any indication, it's not generally the people who want to take their clothes off that are a public nuisance; it's the drunks and the self-entitled egoists who can't see past their own desire to party, and who think the planet is their trash can, that tend to ruin it for the rest of us. And when I tell you not to blame their mess on us nudists, I say that as the naked person who has repeatedly had to pick up others' trash while shaking my head at the tasteless, bigoted graffiti with which they've stained the natural landscape we all must share. Let us not lose sight of who the true villain is here. Because it's not the person who just wants to take advantage of a hard-to-find opportunity to enjoy nature without wearing clothes.