Sex vs. Violence

[description: infographic contrasting a handgun to an erect penis]
I'd rather be shot at by one of these than the other.

Now, I'm sure I could be accused of "minimizing" the crime of sexual assault with this photo concept. But I only want to put things into their proper context. We have a twisted conception of sex and violence in our culture. Certainly, the combination that results in violent sexual assault is uniquely heinous, and, even devoid of physical violence, sexual assault can still be psychologically damaging. Nonetheless, I fear that exaggeration of its horrors is not only counterproductive to the goal of supporting those unfortunate victims who need to know that they can rise above it, and that they are not "damaged goods" who cannot even speak openly and honestly about their ordeal, but that it also harms our general relationship towards our sexual natures, which has the effect of sabotaging any attempt to promote a sex-positive attitude.

For any tool can be used toward evil ends, but while weapons were designed to hurt people, sex organs were designed for pleasure - and we should not forget that. This is by no means an excuse to justify any act of sexual assault - for taking one's "pleasure" at the involuntary expense of another's suffering is an unconscionable crime - but merely a plea not to give it more power over us than it needs to have. Surely, no one wants to be sexually assaulted (and those who do the assaulting certainly ought to get the punishment they deserve), but truly, I would rather be "pawed at" than punched; because I give no special meaning to the condition of my sexual "purity", and I'd rather the sanctity of my "holy temple" be violated, than to be the victim of a potentially life-threatening act of violence. For those who hurt in the pursuit of pleasure are in desperate need of guidance, but those who seek to hurt from the outset are the ones that worry me even more. Yet sex offenders carry a stigma in this society unrivaled by that of violent offenders; I fear that our priorities are mixed up.

[description: infographic contrasting a kitchen knife to an erect penis]
I'd rather be penetrated by one of these than the other.

Skirt & Socks

[description: car selfie in knee-high socks, with erection exposed under a pink miniskirt]

More evidence of the reason why men don't wear skirts as often as women. (Although that's no reason why they should never wear them!). And I know it sounds exciting, but you never know when you're going to be waiting on a breezy sidewalk in the midst of a troop of Girl Scouts (I'm not even making this up!), silently praying that the wind doesn't pick up, and that you won't be spending the night in a jail cell, lol. So just keep that in mind the next time you pull that miniskirt out of the closet. :-p

Say Yes to the (Prom) Dress

I had a few moments to spare in a motel room the other day, so I turned on the TV and ended up watching a few episodes of Say Yes To The Dress. I don't get misty-eyed about weddings - frankly, I think marriage is an antiquated concept. But I love trying on pretty dresses. Only thing is, wedding dresses are kind of boring to me. They're all white (not that I don't like that color), and they all look pretty much the same. I was thinking how much fun it would be if they did a show about teens going around trying to find the perfect prom dress instead. Now that would be interesting to me. Prom dresses have such variety - just think of the colors! And they run the gamut from elegant to flirty. I know they sell whole thick catalogs of prom dresses in the spring, so I think this would be a popular theme for a reality show.

[description: fitting room selfie in an elegant but form-fitting strapless white dress]

Anyway, I found myself in Macy's later that day trying on some prom-like dresses. I wish I could afford to spend $50-80 (or more!) each on dresses for my wardrobe. It's hard for me to find nice dresses on the cheapie racks that I both like, and can actually wear (and let's not talk about finding the right shoes to go with them!). I was telling my friend that if I could afford it, I would wear prom dresses everyday. I'd wear them just to lounge around at home. I'd wear them to do chores, or run errands. I'd wear them to the grocery store, or the park. I'd even play sports in them. When you don't have a lot of money, and you buy a fancy dress, you want to keep it nice, of course. But if I was like Pete Townshend, who can afford to trash a guitar at every concert, I'd totally buy up a bunch of prom dresses and then just wear them out, one after another. It would be fabulous.

[description: fitting room selfie of a nude figure bending out of the frame, dresses hung up]

This is me trying very hard to take a "fitting room picture" that doesn't look like all the others. There are only so many poses you can do standing in front of a mirror. There aren't many objects to pose on/with, other than the clothes you bring in with you. And you're limited by the scope of the mirror, and your ability to hold the camera steady (which is harder than it sounds - many of my potentially favorite shots have had to be discarded due to blurriness) and in the right position. Plus, you only have so long before the fitting room attendant is bound to start getting suspicious, so there's a lot of pressure. But still, after taking hundreds of pictures that all look very similar, I find myself desiring to innovate.

Motel Moments

[description: a clothed figure peers through a motel window at a nude man lying erect on a bed]

I don't get motel room windows. There's just one thick curtain, and no blinds. No hope of frosted glass, either. So it's all or nothing. You can't let the sunshine in in the morning without completely sacrificing your privacy. I may be an exhibitionist, but I don't want just anyone walking by to peek in on my business. It would make me feel too self-conscious, like I was in a zoo exhibit or something. The only exception would be if I were naked or engaged in sexual activity, because then there'd be some excitement in it for me, too. And I know you're thinking, "it's a motel, it's a hotbed for illicit activities!" But not out in the open. This isn't the red-light district. God forbid some old lady with her grandchildren in tow should walk by on the way from church on a Sunday morning, only to be greeted with a live demonstration of anal insertion. "Gammy, what are they doing?" "Well, kids, when two men love each other very much..." For better or worse, that's something that could land you in serious trouble. (I mean, wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where people could approach this sort of thing without blowing a gasket? In keeping with the zoo metaphor - like when animals do it. It's just a fact of life. You can turn away if you find it distasteful, but nobody's throwing the animals in prison for "public indecency"). So the blinds are there for you to open them when you don't want to, but not when you do. It doesn't make any sense. It's stupid.

[description: series of nude portraits depicting various shenanigans inside a motel room]

The Best of Cocktoberfest

A few years ago, I got it in my head to celebrate "Cocktober" by taking a picture of my penis every day for a whole month. Why? Because I'm a twisted pervert, of course - and, I relish an artistic challenge. Informal, cell phone photography seemed a perfect fit for this project, so it basically turned out to be a month-long series of sexting pics. Now, lord knows men don't need any more incentive to take pictures of their dicks, but I thought that the pressure of taking a different picture every day (because nobody needs 30 copies of the same picture) would push me to be creative, and raise the bar for the "dick pic" standard. And that can only be a good thing, right? So let me now present to you the highlights of my Cocktoberfest celebration. And men, the next time you find yourself pointing a camera at your cock, think about how much more interesting that picture of your penis will be if you get a little creative with it. Remember, the goal is to make people smile and laugh, not cringe and scramble for the "block" button. -_^

Guitar Cock

Try posing your cock with various items of interest. Showcase your hobbies. Personalize your penis pictures.

Country Cock

Outdoors and exhibitionism-style pics are always exciting! But be aware of your surroundings - you don't want to get into trouble.

Porno Cock

Don't be afraid to use this as an opportunity to express your sexuality. Penises are for pleasure - so what gets you turned on?

Cupcake Cock

Sex and food go hand in hand, so serve up that gluttony with a heaping spoonful of lust!

Shower Cock

Soft, hard, or somewhere in between, penises are fascinating organs. See how much different you can get it to look from one day to the next.

Splatter Cock

Hey, this is October! Don't be afraid to get dirty. This is me having fun in the shower with some red face paint.

Hot Dog Cock

Fancy a footlong? We've got bun length wieners! (Don't tell me you've never wanted to try this :-p).

Crystal Cock

Put your cock to work. This one is purely ornamental. >.<

Hentai Cock

A demonstration of how Japan does censorship. (Weird, I know).

Rainbow Cock

Show your support for tolerance & diversity! Try shining some sunlight on a flipped-over CD for brilliant colors!

Glasses Cock

A perennial classic. Penises make great funny noses. Also popular are elephants' trunks.

Monster Cock

Forget Ken, let's see how you handle a real man, Barbie. Do you think you can take it all?

Trouser Cock

A.k.a. the ol' Jim Morrison. Just hangin' out. :-D

Hand Cock

Make sure you give that cock a nice, firm grip.

Squished Cock

Try to find new and original angles from which to photograph your penis. Some of them will naturally be more flattering than others. This is your chance to experiment!

Torpedo Cock

It's fun to play with the viewer's perspective. And if it makes you look even bigger, I guess that's an added bonus!

Long Hair Cock

Use your natural qualities to complement your anatomy. Whether it's your legs, hair, chest, or even your face, include it in that picture of your penis.

Cauldron Cock

Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Halloween must be fast approaching! (Always remember - safety first. You don't want to injure your precious organ).

Costumed Cock

My penis dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. What about yours? A pirate? A zombie? An astronaut ("to boldly go...")? Show us!

Try This On For Size (Halloween Edition)

I would have loved nothing more than to have put on a Halloween costume fashion show for you, but the fitting rooms at the local costume shop are horrendous. The lighting is dark, the mirrors are smudged, and there aren't even any benches or hooks on which to hang your clothes! I have to wonder if it's an intentional strategy, designed to imitate the real world conditions in which you're going to be wearing your costume - either out on the streets in the dark, or drunk and half-lucid at a costume party. But I'm probably giving them too much credit.

[description: fitting room selfie in a Poison Ivy costume]

Anyway, the costumes weren't inspiring me as much as I expected them to. With all this talk about how Halloween costumes are too "slutty", I had a hard time finding ones that looked sexy enough (or skimpy enough) to me. Has our erotophobic culture finally influenced the pendulum to swing back in the other direction? Sure, you have plenty of corset-like tops and ruffled, pleated miniskirts - which are flirty - but what, pray tell, is sexy about Darth Vader or a Ninja Turtle? Where are the French maid outfits? The witches and Roman goddesses who don't wear full-length skirts? There's a whole rack filled with fairy wings, but no fairy costumes to go with them, unless you're shopping in the tween section (which is great, but those costumes won't fit me...).

And that's another thing - sizes are all over the place. Stock is limited, so if you can't find a particular size, you're screwed. There were a few costumes I liked the look of that I couldn't even try on because they didn't have any sizes remotely close to what I imagined might fit me. And I had to discard two of the three costumes I ultimately tried on because one of the pieces was either too large or too small. I tried on a harlequin ensemble, and the skirt was cute, but the top was way too small - I couldn't even zip it up! Then I tried on this brown suede hippie costume that looked groovy, but the skirt wasn't very forgiving of my "bulge", and the top was too big - I couldn't dream of having the bust to fill it out! Also, the fringes covered up a lot more skin than I expected them to.

[description: comparison selfies in fringed brown suede and green ivy costumes]

The one costume I tried on that I really liked was this generic Poison Ivy-themed outfit ("Lethal Beauty" - some of these names designed to avoid copyright infringement are ridiculous). The skirt had this string running through it that you could tie off to cinch up one side of it, which looked really sexy. And the ruffles went a long way in disguising my bulge. It had a bunch of accessories, but I wasn't allowed to try those on. Still, I fell completely in love with it. I wanted to buy it so much, but - let me tell you, some of these costumes are way overpriced. With the holidays looming on the horizon, I don't think I can afford to spend over fifty bucks on something I'll probably only wear once or twice. :-(

[description: fitting room selfies in a dazzling, midnight blue "galaxy" dress]

By comparison, I tried on this dress at my favorite cheapie clothing warehouse. Despite being something I might wear more than once, I still thought it was too expensive. And it was "only" $30. I loved it, though. It was very shimmery. And it had a weight to it; it felt like you were putting on a lead apron - but I liked that. It felt like I was wearing something of significance. It was a little tight around the shoulders/chest, which is not uncommon for me, but I was able to get it on and off. Nevertheless, it went back on the racks. Lol, I can't even afford to keep decent clothes to wear (to quote blues legend Otis Rush). I guess it's a good thing I don't mind going naked. If I were a beggar, I'd have to carry a sign that reads "will strip for clothes." But then, isn't that pretty much the reason every stripper gets into the business? -_^

[description: naked fitting room selfie]

Closeted

[description: a nude, long-haired figure stands tucked inside an open closet]

I don't really consider myself to be "closeted" (but the concept does make for some wonderfully evocative imagery) - my closet door's open, and anyone is welcome to take a peek inside, provided they have the courage to do so, and the maturity to deal with what they might see - although I do generally have a personality that causes me to keep people at a distance. But I'm proud of who I am, even if the world isn't quite ready to accept me, and I'm willing to stand up for what I believe in, and hopefully be a role model for others who might not be quite so confident yet. Together we stand, divided we fall.

A Man in a Dress

I resent the fact that male-to-female "cross-dressers" are visualized in the public mindset as essentially the punchline to a joke - a humorously unappealing juxtaposition of feminine clothing and male features, as exemplified by, say, a pair of hairy legs in a skirt and heels, or heavy makeup on a bearded face. Men and women are typically subjected to very different standards of grooming (and women are generally subjected to many more standards than men). I don't like the assumption that cross-dressing consists of simply putting women's clothes on a stereotypical male. Even if you're a man, if you're going to make yourself up as a woman, it makes sense that you would not only apply women's rules of fashion, but also their standards of grooming. It doesn't mean that you necessarily have to, for example, wear makeup, or grow your hair out, or whatever - there is always room for experimentation with the norms. As a matter of fact, there are people who actually appreciate the "genderfuck" nature of the juxtaposed male and female cues I described above (more power to them, I say - I just don't want people assuming that that's what all cross-dressers intend to or end up looking like). But before I ever began to wear women's clothes in public, I got into the habit of shaving regularly - including places I'd never shaved before! - because I knew I would look much better that way.

This is a dilemma that women have - whether to succumb to society's pressures to look a certain way, based on a shared (and some would argue arbitrary) sense of aesthetics. And while it is true (and unfair) that men have more freedom in the grooming parlour - because they are not judged on and valued for their appearance nearly so much as women are - I would make the argument that certain things like body hair are generally less attractive, on both women and men. But unless your goal is to combat these stereotypes (because certainly there are people out there who are attracted to body hair on men, if not women), and emphasize the imbalance between the sexes (and again, if you are, more power to you - I just don't want people thinking that that's the only reason a person might choose to cross-dress), then for better or worse, if you're going to adopt the aesthetics of femininity, then these issues that women have to deal with now become issues that you need to confront (even if you do ultimately end up rejecting them). Because, in the end, it is not inevitable that if a man puts on a dress, he will end up looking like some kind of unappealing freak of nature, as opposed to a beautiful, perhaps androgynously feminine, creature.

The Naked Housemaid

[description: portrait of a nude man in the kitchen holding a mop]

What's wrong with having a little eye candy in your life? I mean, seriously, what's so terrible about that? I feel like I'm living in the midst of this civilization (although I use that term lightly) of instinct-driven animals, who, upon the sight of another naked human being, can't think of anything other than fucking - right then, right there. And that, to prevent this civilization from devolving into a constant, massive orgy (although honestly, would that be so bad?), all we can do is hide our nakedness - out of sight, out of mind. And though there are some self-styled "luminaries" in this world who perceive this carnal instinct as a moral failing, distracting us from more cultured pursuits - the sort that esteem us as an allegedly intelligent species above the rest of the animal kingdom - I feel like I can enjoy the sight of a naked human body, appreciate the way that it makes me feel due to evolutionary biology, and yet still conduct myself as a cultured, higher being with dignity and possession of self-control. And I feel like this - not turning your back on your prime directive and pretending (against all belief) that you are a pure and sexless being - is what it means to be "evolved" or "enlightened". Not to run from your baser instincts, but to gain command over them.