Rainbow Party

Happy New Year! This year's theme is...Rainbow Party!!! Pick a color to get started!

[description: shades of lipstick in every color accompany a man unbuttoning his pants]

You know, I've always felt that rainbow parties were one of the more remarkable urban legends to be born out of our collective cultural phobia surrounding adolescent sexuality. The lurid details [link to Wikipedia article] seem so weirdly specific as to resemble somebody's elaborate sexual fantasy. I'm surprised anybody ever believed they were a real phenomenon. I mean, how would that even work, anyway? The guys wouldn't be left with neat little rainbow rings on their cocks so much as a messy mishmash of colors, am I right? Still, I'm a sucker for any idea that raises perversion to the level of an art form.

[description: six lips in varied colors accompany an erect penis ringed with those colors]
The after-party

A Little Loose

[description: a man stands dressed in a fluffy pink robe, with erection sticking out]

It says a lot about a society that visual depictions of human sexual arousal can be considered not just impolite, but criminal under certain circumstances. Is an erect penis intrinsically vulgar, or can it be depicted in a tasteful fashion - emphasizing, perhaps, its beauty, playfulness, and ability to generate physical pleasure, rather than debilitating anxiety? And to what extent does that depend on society's attitude towards the inherent moral virtue of human sexual expression? I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a world where sex is considered to be an evil temptation, and not simply a way in which humans relate to bond and create mutual pleasure. Tell me, am I just misguidedly naive and idealistic? Because I don't subscribe to an agenda that seeks to control the way the masses wield their sexual identities? Or, rather, that if I could, I would enforce methods that would enable individuals to have more sex more pleasurably, while minimizing the risks of infection and undesired pregnancy? Instead of responding to the fear that they would not make responsible decisions by taking their pleasure away from them and replacing it with deep-seated shame? Because they're not only too stupid for their own good, but that they deserve to be punished for it? Please, tell me I'm the bad guy here...

Try This On For Size

[description: fitting room selfies fully dressed, and in panties]

Nothing soothes the wintertime blues like going out to the store and having an excuse to peel off all your layers of warm clothing. You grab a few swimsuits from the clearance rack, take them to the fitting room, and then try them on while fantasizing about those sunny days when the air is so warm that you can hang out in the middle of crowds of sexy people wearing the skimpiest of covering over their mostly exposed bodies. Am I alone in thinking this is one of the supreme delights that life has in store for us?

[description: fitting room selfies in different bikini bottoms, topless]

I swear, I envy girls for their sleek anatomy, that they can get by with wearing the skimpiest of coverings. Even if you examine the male equivalent (exclusively sold as fetish wear, it seems), full coverage requires a very noticeable bulge or pouch. Now, if that kind of thing were socially acceptable, I wouldn't care, but in this male-dominated, allegedly patriarchal society (I say to emphasize the irony and doubtfulness of those statements), you're not allowed to even hint at the suggestion of possessing male anatomy. If ever I were to get sexual reassignment surgery (and it's not on my agenda), it would be for the sake of fashion, and not to assuage any psychological distress at possessing the wrong set of genitalia.

I tried on some tops, too, but didn't get any good pictures. The problem with shopping for bikinis is that you can always find great tops or great bottoms, but so rarely two that go well together. So, you end up with a drawer filled with assorted pieces, and you can't really wear any of them because they don't match...

[description: fitting room selfies from front and back, in an off-white ruffled prom dress]

I also found this really cute dress, that looks very good on me, notwithstanding a little bit of bulge, that's partially (though not totally) obscured by the ruffles. It looks very prom-y, which is a plus, and I got it for a steal! It's got all its parts, too, and it's nice and stretchy, so I don't have to worry about it being too tight around the rib cage, as is so frequently the case with dresses like this. If only I had some place to wear it to. All the better if it was among a crowd that didn't mind the nature of my anatomy. Because why should having a little bit of a bulge prevent me from dressing up? It's not fair, I tell you.

[description: fitting room selfie, completely nude]

Until next time, thanks for joining me in the fitting room!